Mindscape
by illman
Summary: A mysterious attacker is roaming Atlantis and soon John falls under suspicion. Post The Hive. COMPLETE
1. Anger

Title: Mindscape

Author: Illman

Category: gen, h/c, post-episode

Rating: FRT-13

Beta: DianeM

Date: 07/12/06

Feedback: All comments are appreciated.

Warnings: some violence, drug use

Disclaimer: It's their universe, not mine.

Summary: Theeach memberof theteamhasto deal with the lingering consequencesof Ford's actions.Post _TheHive_ story.

Anger

Ira Furor Brevis Est

oOo

"What was your first impression of Lieutenant Ford?"

That was an easy question for John Sheppard. It was later that everything had gone so wrong.

"He was a good marine." It wasn't what John had wanted to say, but it was all he could say without having to give the doctor insight into his thoughts. Dr. Heightmeyer would ask more questions. Psychologists got paid to dig deeper, especially after missions like these where everything had gone wrong. Dr. Weir had been adamant; John was going to see Dr. Heightmeyer, the number of sessions to be determined by the psychologist.

"What made you choose him for your team?"

Good. John could stick with the facts. Ford had come to Atlantis with a perfect record.

"Ford is...was a quick thinker, he had a good service record, experience with off-world activity." He had made a good impression on John during that very first mission, when Colonel Sumner had still been alive. But John didn't dare mention him. Since his memorial service, no one had mentioned him again in John's presence. John didn't want to discuss Sumner's death with Heightmeyer. Maybe some day, after enough Athosian moonshine...

"How was your relationship with Lieutenant Ford?" If Dr. Heightmeyer was bothered by his short answers, she didn't show it, but she probably got a lot of that in her job.

John had been Ford's CO, but there also had been the video nights, the Athosian moonshine and that fact that they lived in a closed community on the lone outpost of humanity in another Galaxy. There had been no contact with Earth in their first ten months on Atlantis and John had had the impression that Ford had missed his grandparents a lot. When Rodney had found a way to send a message to Earth, Ford had volunteered to tape the messages. It had been important to him.

But because they had been all alone in a strange galaxy, possibly for the rest of their lives, they had all grown closer together. Ford had been also a friend to John.

"Ford was a friend."

"When he left Atlantis, how did you feel about that?" Kate smiled, but John knew she wanted to hear him say that he felt angry about what Ford had done.

"It wasn't his fault. The Wraith did this to him," John began. He didn't know what had driven Ford to steal a Jumper and flee from Atlantis. Dr. Beckett and the rest of the medical staff had tried to help him and they might have succeeded eventually.

When John had become infected with Beckett's imperfect virus, the subtle changes to his body and mind had frightened him like nothing before in his life. He had been powerless to stop to transition into a creature he didn't recognize and couldn't control. The Wraith had changed Ford on a physical level, maybe irreversibly so. John could understand why Ford might have run from the people he had known.

"I didn't understand why he ran away. We wanted to help him, but I think he knew we couldn't," John finally answered.

"So, you did everything you could to bring him back to Atlantis?" Dr. Heightmeyer asked in friendly tone, which didn't quite fit the question.

The search for Ford hadn't gone ideal. They had soon picked up his trail on a planet exposed to extreme UV radiation, but finding the missing Lieutenant had been challenging, to say the least. The arrival of the Wraith at long last had only been the final straw.

"The conditions were difficult. Ronon took us by surprise and Major Lorne lost a lot of time searching for us instead of searching for the lieutenant. If it hadn't been for Ronon, the Wraith wouldn't have shown up and Ford wouldn't have jumped into the beam."

Difficult conditions were how people got killed.

Ford wouldn't have jumped into the beam if John hadn't pointed an automatic weapon at him, but damn it, Ford had almost killed McKay. What other choice had there been?

But that was it about choices. Nobody ever had another choice and this was where it had gotten them. The Stargate might have sounded like a good idea on paper, but the universe was not a friendly place. Out there were the likes of the Goa'uld, Wraith and Genii waiting for them.

"In light of what happened to your team, do you wish you had stopped Lieutenant Ford from escaping you on that occasion?"

She hadn't asked him how he felt about what Ford had done to them. John had expected that question first in line, but maybe she wanted him to tell her on his own. Of course he was angry. Ford had had no right to take them prisoners and drug his team with the enzyme even if he had planned a strike against the Wraith. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

But not if those friends were a gang of megalomaniacs with gung-ho tactics led by a former marine, hopped up on Wraith enzyme. Thanks, but no thanks.

"I didn't think he'd survive being transported aboard a Dart." John evaded the question. "At the time, I wouldn't have shot a friend."

Ford had been a friend that night and only as a last resort, if Ford pulled a gun on him, John would have shot him. Colonel Caldwell's orders had been different; he had wanted Ford recovered at all cost. For him the lieutenant had become a security risk, but John hadn't agreed, not then. Only later, when he had looked Ford in the eye and realized that he wouldn't let them go, he had known that Caldwell had been right. Ford had become a threat.

"How do you feel about the Lieutenant's death?"

"He deserved better. I'm not condoning what he did after he left Atlantis, but he was a good man."

It wasn't that simple. The Wraith had changed Ford, but the enzyme could only have amplified what had already been there. Others had joined his group and had chosen the enzyme and it was also a choice Ford had made. Maybe. On the ship, when they had run out of enzyme, John had thought Ford was about to die, but he had hung on to life with determination.

He might have been able to overcome the changes the Wraith had done, if he had only wanted to. But Ford had relished the increases in strength and speed the enzyme brought; he hadn't wanted to go back.

"What would you say to him if you could?"

That was unfair.

"We said everything we needed to say," John replied and got up. He had talked enough. He would never forget Aiden Ford as long as he lived. The young man had faced a brilliant future, and like so many before him, war had cost him everything.

He would recall them as separate entities. The young, eager lieutenant with a penchant for naming things. The angry, manic guerrilla leader bent on waging war against the Wraith. They weren't the same person.

John left Dr. Heightmeyer's office and headed for the gym. He knew he would see Aiden Ford again.

The gym was empty in the morning during the first shift of the day. John hadn't slept very well and it seemed like he couldn't even recall the last time he had felt well rested. In the past two weeks, he had always forced himself to get by on as little sleep as possible, just enough to remain alert. Sleep meant loss of control in a situation where control was at a premium. He hadn't been in a control, Ford had been.

John ignored the headache that had been lingering since their attack on the Wraith ship the previous day and started to warm up. He hoped that the physical exertion would finally allow him to get a few hours of rest. He hoped that a good workout and a few hours of restful sleep would do the trick. He didn't plan on going to the infirmary because of a headache and, truth be told, he just didn't want to see anyone for a while, after over two weeks of being stuck together with the rest of his team or Ford every minute day and night.

John would have to see Dr. Heightmeyer. That had been Dr. Weir's condition. If the psychologist agreed, he could go back to his desk duties the following week. Caldwell and the Daedalus were needed back home, so Major Lorne had taken over the day-to-day duties as military commander. John normally wouldn't have envied him for the job - the paperwork was a bitch. But right now, faced with the prospect of five days of unoccupied time, performance reviews and training schedules sounded exciting—anything to fill the time. Passing time was a skill the military cultivated, but John had never become very good at it. He had learned to control himself outwardly. To anyone else, John seemed to master the art of staying at rest and being ready for action at the same time.

John hated waiting. He had learned to make it bearable by occupying his mind. At McMurdo, he had spent the first month working out the number of floor tiles at the base.

Not by counting, that would have been boring; he had measured the size of one tile in an opportune moment and calculated the rest, in his head. The ceilings had been next.

Every man needed a hobby and there was only so often that you could watch College Football Classics.

John's first punch was hard and oddly satisfying. With the tension of the last two weeks behind him and no other way to unload, John peppered the bag with punches. He normally preferred running for a workout, but this time, every time his fist connected with the sand bag, John felt a sense a reassurance and calm.

He was only distantly aware of pain from his beaten hands as he worked himself into frenzy. He was angry. He hadn't wanted to admit it to Kate, but he felt anger, even rage at Ford for what his team had gone through because of him.

Ford could have stopped it at any time, and he hadn't. John hadn't been able to stop anything. He had been powerless, a pawn in Ford's game. He was as angry at Ford as at himself as he pummelled the bag mercilessly.

John didn't relent until his strength left him completely. His mind was still going strong, but his body betrayed him when his knees folded under him.

John hit the floor hard and fell into darkness.

oOo

John opened his eyes and was right where he had been before everything had gone black. The only addition to the scene was Major Lorne, kneeling right next to him. The usually chipper man was wearing an expression somewhere between surprise and shock, as he was reaching for his radio. John reached to stop him.

"Wow, Colonel." Lorne startled, staring at John. "I don't know how to say this, sir, but is everything all right?"

It was a dumb question. Obviously things were not all right. John recalled the workout, but he wasn't so sure why he had ended up on the floor. He did have one hell of a headache and his hands were killing him.

"I think you should see Dr. Beckett." Lorne interrupted his thought and for once John couldn't find a good reason to disagree.

"Yes. Help me up." John made a move to get to his feet, ignoring protests from pretty much every part of his body, but Lorne wasn't helping. He looked hesitant.

"I think I should call for Dr. Beckett." Lorne looked uncomfortable.

"Major?" John wasn't in the mood for this. His head was killing him as was every muscle in his body. He felt like something big and bad had eaten him whole and spit him out again.

"I'm calling Dr. Beckett." Lorne said and tapped his radio. "Dr. Beckett, this is Major Lorne."

"Major, what is it?" John heard the familiar voice over the radio.

"Doctor, we need you here in the gym. I think you'd better come alone."

John felt grateful. For some reason this had been important, but he couldn't remember. He remembered working out earlier, but the memory was starting to blur as his head ached ferociously.

John closed his eyes just for a second, to dim to headache. Lorne was talking on his radio, but the words were like white noise to John as he drifted off again.

oOo

"Colonel, Colonel Sheppard! Come on, open your eyes." The Scottish accented voice sounded familiar, which made no sense whatsoever because there were no Scots in the Air Force. What the hell had happened?

"Come on, Colonel Sheppard, I can tell that you are awake." Colonel Sheppard? That wasn't right either, but John's head hurt too much to launch much of a protest. He groaned and gave in to the insistent voice only to regret it immediately.

The penlight light trick, he had forgotten about that. Considering how badly his head hurt, John was surprised that he could remember his own name. His head felt like it was about to explode. Passing out again almost seemed like a good idea. Anything to kill the headache.

"Colonel, I need to have a closer look at you in the infirmary." Someone was worried.

"I better call for a gurney." Oh no.

TBC


	2. Fear

A/N: Thanks for all the feedback. You guys are amazing!

Fear

Timendi Causa Est Nescire

oOo

Rodney was staring at the ceiling over his bed. He had tried to work, had tried to play Minesweeper, Battleship, even Space Invaders, but even looking at the screen for five minutes made his head hurt.

It was pointless. His head seemed to have turned into a useless appendage. His brain was essential to the survival of not only himself, but at least to the rest of the City as well and it wasn't working anymore. Ruined, just like that. Ford and his cronies had ruined his brain for good.

Carson had reassured him that it wasn't so bad and that the light sensitivity, fatigue and irritability would pass eventually. But what other was there to expect from the medical profession, except reassurances that everything would be all right.

After his mind had finally cleared enough to know where he was, Rodney had fled the infirmary as soon as he had managed to stand on his own legs. His memory of the two days that had passed in between his arrival through the Stargate and what passed for sanity was sketchy, but what he did remember horrified him.

If only a fraction of what he recalled from his time in the infirmary was true, he'd do good never to cross Carson's path again, which would be a shame as Carson had been a good friend and they went back a long time. They had met at Area 51, but Rodney had to cringe at the memory of what he had screamed at his former friends when the withdrawal had set in. Carson had stayed with him during the entire time, but for once Rodney wished he hadn't.

It would make things easier for them; he would still be able to be in the same room as Carson. Right now, staying in his room forever seemed to be the only logical option. Rodney was thoroughly screwed. He rolled himself on his stomach and sighed.

There was a knock on the door just as Rodney had flipped back on his backside.

"Go away!" Couldn't they leave him alone for one hour? Everyone knew where he was and he certainly wasn't going anywhere. He had agreed to see Kate, not that he had had any other choice. He wasn't going back to work until Kate cleared him; those were Elizabeth's orders.

"Rodney?" It was Radek Zelenka.

"Forget it, Radek! Go back to work!"

Atlantis soundproofing made it impossible to hear anything more coming from the corridor, but Radek seemed to have left. Slightly more satisfied, Rodney rolled on his stomach again.

It should have been over. Their happy, triumphant return to Atlantis. Even being dragged home by Major Lorne would have been all right, if it had ended at the Stargate. Rodney had escaped Ford's clutches, but there had been no happy homecoming, not for him. Sheppard had come out on top, as usual. Even Conan and Xena had performed up to their usual warrior standards. The smartest guy in the Pegasus Galaxy had nearly died of an overdose of alien speed. It was unfair and it made Rodney mad.

Rodney punched his pillow.

oOo

"How are you feeling today?"

"Like everybody doesn't know! How should I feel? Can you tell me?" Rodney crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at Kate Heightmeyer. The whole control room had gotten a free show when he had stumbled through the Gate, stoned out of his mind after escaping from Ford's merry band of junkies. His memory was hazy, but after having been forcedly high for two weeks straight and having given himself a massive overdose before managing to escape, he had only managed crazed ramblings before hitting the ground.

"I can't tell you how you should feel. How do you feel?" Kate repeated her question.

"I wish it never happened, but we can't have that, now can we?"

God, there was so much that never should have happened: the cancellation of Star Trek, the awakening of the Wraith, Gaul's suicide...maybe not in this order. But not even Colonel Carter had figured out time travel yet, and she was the only person in the universe who was smarter than him and there was that rumour going around Area 51 that she had gone back in time once.

"No, that is not possible. Do you regret your actions?"

Regret was such an awful word. Hindsight was always 20-20. Everyone could come afterwards and mince words; being there was another thing. Done was done, such were the laws of physics. And until they changed, regret was a waste of time.

"I don't regret what I did." Rodney meant it.

Kate looked at him and said nothing for a while. "You took a great risk for the sake of your team when you escaped. What were you thinking when you injected yourself with the enzyme?"

Rodney shook his head. He knew what he should say. That he had wanted to save his team. Sheppard would say that he was the kind of guy who was willing to give up his life for others. He would shoot up to help his team escape, so why shouldn't Rodney do the same? But it wasn't that easy. For Sheppard maybe, he was a professional hero. Want somebody to save the world? Ask Colonel John Sheppard. He had thrown himself at the opportunity to fly the Jumper into the Wraith ship when the remote control had failed work.

Well, maybe he hadn't thrown himself; he just knew what needed to get done. Rodney had been thinking about his own ass.

"I don't remember."

Oh he did. He had been scared and desperate—a mixture that had inspired many stupid actions in the history of man. He had probably been lucky that he had only provided a spectacle, the news of which would soon reach Earth, and had killed off some invaluable brain cells in the course of his desperation actions. But it was better than being dead.

"What can you tell me about the time Lieutenant Ford was holding you prisoner? What do you remember about that time?"

Too much. It hadn't been bad. Ford could have done a lot worse, a lot if he had wanted to make them suffer. He had certainly picked up a couple of tricks in the marines. Kolya had gotten Rodney talking within thirty seconds. One deep cut was all it had taken; his mind had done the rest. But the Genii were hardly pioneers; they had been going at this on Earth for a lot longer.

"I'm sure everything is in Sheppard's report."

"Yes, I have read Colonel Sheppard's report, and I know that you were under the influence of the enzyme."

Yes, Ford had the enzyme and in a way it was worse than what Kolya had done.

"Just tell me what you remember. It doesn't matter if it is just an impression or a feeling," Kate encouraged.

"Warm, it was always too warm."

It had been the enzyme. He had felt the wash of heat shortly after every injection, filling his body with a burn that had continued for hours. It had felt like being trapped in the Nevada desert heat, midday.

"What else can you recall about those two weeks?"

Rodney didn't want to talk about it now, anymore than he wanted to talk about it when Carson had asked him three days ago.

"It's all in my report and the parts I missed because the truant lieutenant thinks a stoned scientist can do a better job than a sober one are in the major's report. He obviously managed to play the military card."

Kate was impassive at his anger. "What do you think Colonel Sheppard could have done differently?"

"What should I know? Ford was listening to him, not to us! He stood by and watched us get drugged."

"In the end it was you who was in the position to get a message through to Atlantis. Maybe there was just nothing the colonel could have done to change the situation. Your team was vastly outnumbered and outgunned by Ford's men. You should talk to Colonel Sheppard."

"You know, I probably should." Rodney didn't smile. He got up from the couch.

"That's a good idea," Kate said and nodded. "Tomorrow at the same time?"

"I don't have much of a choice there." Rodney shrugged. He was suddenly tired; much of the fight had left him. Carson had said that fatigue was one of the withdrawal symptoms he still might have to deal with over the next few weeks.

"I think you still have quite a bit to talk about. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

Rodney walked out the door without reply. He couldn't face anyone, as the awareness of his all too public enzyme addiction and withdrawal hurt more than the lingering symptoms. Rodney took the opposite direction from his quarters and headed for the eastern part of the City.

The Eastern Pier was deserted. It was a cool morning and the sea was restless. Rodney sat down against one of the massive support beams, pulled his knees close and wrapped his arms around them.

He would be lying if he said he regretted injecting himself with the enzyme. Ford's junkie friends probably wouldn't have killed him. They had been sharp enough to realize that he was an asset. If he hadn't taken the massive enzyme dose, he would still be where he had been a week ago. He would be a prisoner. Only now, he would be alone.

He had to admit it, he had felt a lot safer, even held prisoner in a camp of guerrilla warriors while his team was around. His only asset was his mind, and once Ford had messed with it, he'd pretty much become useless. He would probably have been of more use to them if he hadn't been jumping out of his skin at every turn. It had been a tool to control him and it had worked. Rodney resented it.

Rodney didn't hear the footfalls until Radek was almost besides him. When he did turn and spotted him, he was furious.

"What is it! Leave me alone!" Rodney jumped to his feet.

"Rodney. Dr. Beckett was worried when he didn't find you. He just wanted to know where you were." Radek spoke deliberately slow.

"That's none of his goddamn business. And neither is it yours. I did what I had to do. Would you rather I was stuck back on the planet with Ford so that you can keep my job? Is that it?"

"You know that's not true. Come back with me to the infirmary. Carson has discovered a new side effect, and he is very worried. He needs to see you." Radek pleaded and took a step closer to Rodney. Rodney let him approach.

"What side effects?"

"I don't know. Something has happened to Colonel Sheppard. Carson is worried that the same might happen to you and the others."

oOo

Ronon and Teyla were already gathered in the infirmary, sitting on opposite beds in the main hall. Rodney couldn't see John anywhere. He wondered whether the colonel had already been released if Carson was that concerned.

Carson sat down, crossed and uncrossed his arms, as if steeling himself for the conversation ahead.

Rodney was impatient. Radek hadn't been able to give him any detail, and the matter concerned Rodney personally. "What's going on?"

"I'm aware that there has been a lot of fall-out from the last two weeks, but there might have been something else affecting you that I didn't know about before. I assumed that the symptoms you were experiencing were due to your exposure to the enzyme, but there might have been other factors involved."

"What kind of factors?" Ronon asked.

"I have no idea yet, but Colonel Sheppard came in with highly abnormal patterns of neurological activity. I can only attribute them to the some sort of environmental exposure at this point, but I can't rule anything out. That's why I need to check all of you out. Symptoms include aggression, severe depression and memory loss. It's normal that you are feeling somewhat down after coming off the enzyme, but the aggression should have passed after it's out of your systems."

That was basically how Rodney felt—minus the memory loss. He couldn't help the fear sneaking into his thoughts as Carson continued.

"I can't tell you how severe this problem is. I wish I could. Colonel Sheppard seems to be stable right now, but he did quite a bit of damage and his neural activity is still off the charts. Hopefully we'll be able to prevent or at least control any episodes, should they be a result of something you all have been exposed to.

The fear was cold and hard now. Until now, his memory had had least been shaded by the drug, providing a faint comfort. It hadn't been much, but it had given him something to cling to. Now it might start all over again and there was no chance he could avoid Carson while being in the infirmary.

"Rodney?" Carson walked up to him. "We should get started. We'll start with the MRI. You had one of those before at the SGC."

"You don't need to patronize me," Rodney replied acidly, but didn't look at Carson.

"I know this isn't easy for you, Rodney. But we are here for you, even if you don't want us around right now," Carson said gently.

"Let's just get it over with." Rodney slipped off the bed he was sitting on.

"All right. You know the drill. Take off your uniform trousers and anything metal you have on you."

oOo

Carson handed Rodney a small towel. Rodney wordlessly accepted and started wiping the biogel off his forehead, only to rub it into his hair.

"It washes out. Until you get a chance to shower, you might have to take a leaf out of the colonel's book." Carson grinned, but the levity in his voice sounded forced.

Rodney sat back, exhausted after three hours after tests. "What's the verdict?"

"Well, the EEG looks fine; that's good news. Your brain activity seems to be within normal parameters. The MRI turned up nothing, but I wasn't expecting anything. The PET scan showed activity patterns that have been connected with depression. That is what concerns me. Colonel Sheppard had a pretty severe episode earlier this morning."

"Is the colonel all right?" Rodney was starting to worry, despite his own fear and exhaustion.

"I don't know. He is stable for now, but that's pretty much all I can say for now," Carson replied and sat down on the exam bed next to Rodney.

"You probably won't like this, but it would be a good idea for you to stay in the infirmary, at least until I have a clearer idea what is going on."

"That could take days." Rodney hadn't meant to say that aloud, but Carson didn't comment.

"I want to run a scan with the Ancient Bio Analyzer on you and since it only works on people with the gene, Teyla and Ronon aren't candidates. It will take some time to evaluate the results. In the meantime, to confirm to PET scan results, I'm going to do another blood scan to do evaluate your brain chemistry. The first blood scan turned up nothing probative, but I was looking specifically for infections, trace of toxins and signs of allergic reactions," Carson explained.

"I'll stay until you are done with the lab work, but I can stare at the ceiling just as well in my quarters." Rodney fidgeted nervously. He needed to get out of the infirmary. The past three hours had taken up every bit of self-control he had.

The prospect of a MRI made Rodney nervous under the best of circumstances. He hated small spaces.

_Wide open fields. Wide open fields._

Rodney had kept repeating his mantra during the scan. When it had finally been over, he had been trembling. He had hoped Carson wouldn't notice but there was probably no chance of that.

"What did you have to eat today?" Carson's question came out of nowhere.

Rodney hesitated. "I can't really remember."

"You were in such a rush to leave the infirmary this morning that you missed breakfast and we have been here since before lunch time." Carson's voice didn't carry any reproach even though Rodney knew he deserved it. He didn't need to wait for the inevitable blood sugar test. The routine was familiar.

Fifteen minutes later, he was sipping apple juice. For the moment, things were improving. Carson had disappeared for the moment; one of his minions had delivered the juice. The effects of the sugar were kicking in fast, and Rodney started to feel less shaky and the wooziness was clearing up.

Finished with the juice, Rodney put the container down on the table and hopped off the bed.

TBC


	3. Fatigue

Fatigue

Quamquam Longissimus Dies Cito Conditur

oOo

Carson walked out of the isolation room after checking up on Colonel Sheppard again. The memories of the nanovirus incident still too clear in his memory, he had immediately thought of a contagion when Major Lorne had reported the colonel's bizarre behaviour. The fear was always there. It was a virus that had wiped out the Ancients and it was still out there somewhere. A few years ago, a research team had stumbled across it in Antarctica. The virus was fast and deadly and there was no cure.

But all tests, conventional and Ancient had failed to reveal the presence of a virus or other pathogen.

Carson had no idea what had caused John Sheppard's episode that had started with violent behaviour and had continued with neurological irregularities and disorientation. Carson had yet to run a full neurological exam; he would have to wait with that until the effects of the sedative had worn off to get accurate results.

Carson headed back to the infirmary. He had been on feet for almost forty-eight hours, and then he had only had a four hour nap before.

Since Rodney had come through the Gate after his escape from Ford's men, he had stayed with him in the infirmary, ignoring Rodney's insults, pleas and scream. He had needed to see Rodney through this. And the others as they had returned to Atlantis. He had been up for three days, with only naps in between and he knew he was nearing the end of his strength. There was going to come a point where his mind became too frazzled and his body too tired to continue working.

Teyla and Ronon had both been reluctant, but they had agreed to stay in the infirmary for observation.

Teyla was lying back on her bed, eyes closed. Maybe she was sleeping, Carson couldn't tell. Ronon was sitting on the bed next to her, staring at the wall. They seemed all right for the moment. He hadn't been able to determine anything conclusive from the tests.

Dr. Weir was already waiting in his office. The tension of the last two weeks was showing on Elizabeth's face as she sat down in a chair opposite his desk. When Major Lorne and his team had come up empty again and again in their search and not even Dr. Zelenka had managed to come up with a way to trace where they had been taken to, Elizabeth had been forced to call off the search. No one had wanted to believe that they were really gone, but with a galaxy full of planets, Elizabeth had done the only thing she could.

"What are we dealing with, Carson?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. The only thing I can pretty much rule out is a pathogen or virus. The City would have gone into lock down as soon as they came back. So I don't think the rest of us are in any danger." Carson decided to go with the good news first, they all could use it.

"I hate to ask, but you are sure that this is connected to what happened on the mission?"

"At the moment, I don't know, it seems like the only reasonable assumption. Blood scans haven't turned up anything yet, and according to his report, Colonel Sheppard was at no point exposed to the enzyme."

"You doubt that?" Elizabeth sounded both surprised and shocked.

"No, I don't," Carson said simply. He wasn't sure what to believe. Not everything ended up in a report, especially when it came to situations that weren't supposed to happen.

"Is it possible that Colonel Sheppard is suffering from post-traumatic stress? He was being held prisoner for two weeks." Elizabeth considered.

"That might have played a part. His PET scan indicated a patter that has some commonalities with what's associated with depression, but there is also heightened activity similar to what Teyla experienced last year when she started having dreams about the Wraith. I'm not sure this means anything. We know very little about psychic abilities and frankly, that's out of my field of expertise. Colonel Sheppard spoke to Kate this morning. If she thought he was in danger of harming himself, she would have told me. Otherwise, their session is confidential," Carson told her. He had been thinking about the psychological ramifications, but to the test results couldn't be explained away by post-traumatic stress.

"I'll authorise Kate to hand over her notes on their session as well as Sheppard's file from the past year," Elizabeth said. "I want to know what we are dealing with. If there is any possibility that this is going to spread, the SGC needs to know."

"I think we can rule that out at this point. As I said, the City would have caught any pathogen even before we would. But there is strong possibility that, Teyla, Ronon and Rodney could be affected by the same agent the colonel has been exposed to. Dr. Millhouse and I started a series of test, so far without conclusive results." Carson paused, not sure how to explain his suspicions that despite conclusive proof, caution was warranted.

"What was the last time you slept? Or ate for that matter?" Elizabeth's question made sense, but still caught him unaware.

Carson shook his head. "Lunch. I caught an hour of sleep in between shifts yesterday. It's been a crazy week. But we got everyone back. That's what counts." Carson might have been afraid to go through the Stargate, but he didn't leave the infirmary on Atlantis until the work was done and this time was no exception.

"Yes, almost everyone," Elizabeth agreed. "I'll send Kate along. I haven't ordered Teyla and Ronon to see her. Kate may be experienced, but she said herself that she isn't trained for aliens from another Galaxy."

Carson knew Elizabeth's doubted not Kate Heightmeyer's skill, but psychologists in general. It was a luxury for easy times. Elizabeth had made hard decisions before as a UN diplomat, but before coming to the Pegasus Galaxy, she had never actually seen the people die as a result of her decisions. She wasn't career military like Sheppard and Lorne, they had come better prepared for what had awaited them, and they had seen war before.

"I'll ask her to talk to them. It can't do any harm if they at least tell someone how they feel. I doubt Ronon will talk to her, but you know him, he's not very talkative," Carson said with a tired smile.

"Dr. Millhouse can take over for a few hours, Carson. You picked her yourself, let her do her job," Elizabeth said firmly. "Don't make me make this an order." Elizabeth got.

"Let me know when there is anything new."

Carson just nodded. Elizabeth had a point. He was dead on his feet. His back and neck had been bothering for hours, he couldn't recall how long exactly.

He had prescribed himself a Tylenol earlier, but he knew it wouldn't help. Every pill checked out was documented in the records. That was a good thing. It was too easy fall into the trap of substituting drugs for rest and recuperation, even for professionals who knew better.

But to draw the line between being needed and personal needs was near impossible when other lives were on the lines. He was replaceable. There were other physicians on Earth, physicians with some field experience than he. His passion was genetics; his career focus had been on research. He had wanted to help people with his research. He had hoped of finding the means to improve existing gene therapy.

Carson had achieved more than he had ever dreamt about. The ATA gene had been the discovery of a lifetime. It had shown him that there were still wonders waiting to be discovered. Yet he had seen the other side of science. It was a tool of the powerful. Years of his research were collecting dust in the filing cabinets of Area 51, deemed classified by the US government.

The gene therapy, which allowed forty percent of patients to receive the ATA gene, had the potential to help hundreds of not thousands of people afflicted by genetic diseases. There was a lot of research to be done, but that was not going to happen, not on Earth anyways. Carson had been denied permission for human trials. Rodney had been his first test subject, in the Pegasus Galaxy where the need for gene carriers overruled laws from a far away Galaxy.

Rodney had been eager to volunteer. When the therapy had taken at the first attempt, Carson had been overjoyed.

But it was a bittersweet triumph. He could live with not receiving recognition for what would probably be the biggest achievement of his lifetime.

It was better that way. People wouldn't judge him kindly, they'd see all the deaths he'd caused and then, they'd put him right up there, together with some of the worst examples of his profession. It was harder to accept that the results of his research would remain a military secret. It could have helped people, but Earth needed soldiers with the ATA gene. There weren't enough humans born with the gene and it was easier to give people the gene afterwards, than train people who had the gene naturally. Carson had come to the only place where he could research the ATA gene, but there were days when he wished he had never heard of the Stargate. Today was one of those days.

Carson reached down and opened the bottom shelf of his desk. He kept a box of black tea in there, a small piece of Earth in a galaxy far from home.

While he really longed for some Scotch right now, his drinking days were long behind him. He hadn't been an excessive drinker, but when he had finally taken that first step, he had quit all forms of self-medication. Carson hadn't thought about that time for a long time. With the passing years, he had stopped looking back to that dark time in his life. The Wraith enzyme had brought everything back. All the times he didn't want to remember.

Carson got up to heat some water for a cup of tea. He was watching the water come to a boil when Kate entered his office.

"Kate, can I make you a cup?" Carson asked.

"Thanks, I'd appreciate it," Kate said and sat down.

Carson pulled out a second cup. He used cup he'd brought from Earth, not the standard issue aluminium cups.

"They are beautiful." Kate commented.

"Yes, they are from a small pottery in my hometown. I picked them up when I went to see my family before we left Earth. They remind me of home," Carson explained and poured water into their cups.

"It's important to remind ourselves of where we come from. We have come very far, but we are still explorers from Earth and we are very far away from home."

"It's just that some of us seem to miss home more than others." Carson sighed and slumped down in his chair. He stretched out his aching legs.

"Is everything all right at home?" Kate asked.

"That's not it. My folks are fine, last I heard. My mom was already assuming the worst when she didn't hear from me for months after I had left for Atlantis. She's still worried, despite my letters. I don't think she was buying the official story for a minute, but she knows that I have been doing classified research for the military. She's stopped asked me what I'm doing years ago and there's hardly anything I can tell her anyways, except reassure her that everything is fine. I don't want to lie to her."

Officially Carson was involved in a vaccination program in the rural communities of Central Africa. The paperwork was solid, he would pass a background check, but anyone who had a closer look at his research background would be wondering what am expert in genetics was doing out in the field.

"It's a price all of us have to pay," Kate agreed and nodded sadly.

"How long have you been with the Stargate program? Five years?"

"Around that. Back then, the Ancients were more of a myth than anything else. We didn't know where they had come from or where they had gone, but everyone wanted to find them because we knew they had they knowledge to once build the Stargates. I never expected to find this." Carson shook his head. "I don't even know how I ended up in another galaxy."

Kate slowly fished the teabag out of her cup, and then she looked at Carson. "You need some sleep, but you know that better than I do. What's really bothering you? Everything you tell me is confidential."

Carson realized that Kate had come as a psychologist, not as a friend.

"Everything that happened, it made me look back on the last few years and I'm not sure I can live with what I see." Carson admitted.

He could have brushed Kate off with a lie or an excuse and she would have left him alone, but he had kept to himself for too long.

It had worked, as long as the memories had stayed buried, but as the cruel scenes had played out in front of him in the infirmary, the past had come back in Technicolor.

"Do you regret coming to Atlantis?" Kate sounded sympathetic.

"The people on Hoff would still be alive if I had stayed on Earth. Elia wouldn't have had to die like she did and Colonel Sheppard wouldn't have been infected with the virus. There is hardly any more that I can do to violate the oath I took."

"The Hoffans knew what the vaccine did and still wanted to use it. It was their choice to make, not yours."

"If a patient was intent on harming himself, would you give him a knife?" Carson returned. He knew it wasn't that simple.

"No, I wouldn't. But even as a doctor, you can't save everyone. The Hoffans have found their solution that we might not be able to accept, but the majority of their society agrees that it is the best way for them. I agree with you, it is a terrible and barbaric thing to condemn half a world to die to save the other half, but we can't judge the decisions of a culture we have been in contact with for only a few weeks. The Hoffans made the choice, knowing the price." Kate argued. Carson knew she had a point. The Hoffan society was a democracy and a public vote had ruled in favour of the vaccine. He had been stunned and horrified.

"Perna didn't want to die, but she wanted to save her people from the Wraith. She was willing to go all the way and so the Hoffans. I'll never understand how they could do what they did, but I understand now why they were so desperate. Desperation...it drives us to the worst of things." It wasn't an excuse, more an observation. Living under the threat of the Wraith in the Pegasus Galaxy had made him understand how desperate scientists must have been in times of war, when the enemy seemed impossible to defeat. It was so easy to cross to line.

Kate waited, taking sip from her tea. She was letting him decided whether to continue or not.

"With Elia, it was an accident, the virus wasn't ready to be used, but eventually, I would have had to do it. I would have had to test it on a living Wraith. I keep telling myself that they are Wraith and that they won't stop killing humans because they have to, because it's their nature. Still, it feels we have stepped back in time. I didn't come here to develop biological weapons. I became a doctor because I wanted to help people, silly as that sounds now. But as Rodney is fond of pointing out, I could have said no. We have to live with the choices we make."

"That is true. Are you worried about Rodney?" The question came unexpected, but Kate read people for a living and the recent events had hardly been a secret.

"Yes, I am. He's had a hard time the last few months. Rodney is undoubtedly the most intelligent person I've ever met, but you know he's difficult enough to get along with when he's in a good mood. I met him at Area 51, long before anyone knew Atlantis even existed." Carson paused. It was not something he felt comfortable talking about without revealing detail Rodney had told him in confidence or details of his own past that might ruin him.

"Rodney was pretty bitter, especially when he was sent Siberia to help with the Russian Stargate program. Nobody wanted the job and Rodney wasn't exactly popular with the SGC at the time. I think that here on Atlantis, he's finally found his challenge. Sheppard made a good choice when he picked Rodney for his team. But with everything that's he's gone through in the last four months...I've noticed that he's shutting himself off from people." Carson forced the words out, but he was worried about his friend and this time, Rodney wouldn't listen to him. He had seen how the scientist had avoided his gaze earlier in the infirmary.

"Right now, Rodney feels hurt and embarrassed at what happened."

Carson stopped her before she could continue. "I know that Elizabeth waived the privilege, but I'm sure that Rodney wouldn't agree to this."

"Rodney is directing a good deal of his anger and anxiety at the outside. He is suffering from some post-traumatic stress in reaction to the events, but he's dealing in his own way," Kate told Carson.

"I'm still going to keep a close eye on him, even if he doesn't like it."

"Give him a bit of space. Rodney has spent almost three weeks with absolutely no privacy. It's natural that he's pulling back right now," Kate reassured him. "We've got another session tomorrow."

Kate meant to dispel his concerns, but Carson still worried. Rodney was suffering from the unpredictable physical after-effects of the enzyme and at least to him, Rodney had seemed withdrawn, if not depressed.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you much about Colonel Sheppard. He wasn't very forthcoming during our session. In retrospect, I should have pushed him harder. I let him choose where he wanted to start, because I was hoping he would open up that way." Kate sighed. "But I didn't see any signs that he was severely depressed."

Carson shrugged. "At this point, it's just a theory. I don't have any answers."

TBC


	4. Memory

Memory

Memoria Est Thesaurus Omnium Rerum E Custos

oOo

John woke in a white haze of dull pain and numbed senses. He blinked slowly, trying to get a clear image as his surroundings took shape in front of his eyes. It took him a few seconds to figure out that it was the ceiling he was staring at. It was a spiral pattern, New Age Stucco like. The ridges of each circle cast large, dark shadows in the dim, warm light, making the ceiling seem painted. John stared, slightly freaked, blinked again, and then looked around.

The bed, with its metal frame and white sheets, was infirmary issue. They looked the same on every base, no matter where. He had an IV needle stuck in his left hand, confirming that he had probably been in an accident.

His right arm was in a cast from his elbow down and two of his fingers of his left hand were splinted. A quick, bold move confirmed it - yes, that he had hit something hard. John was puzzled. Apart from his hands and his head, he found nothing amiss with the rest of his body. Yet he could not recall what had happened. The last he remembered with any degree of certainty was getting off the bus in San Francisco. Mitch had been throwing his belated 30th birthday party and he had invited over a hundred people. Maybe a car had hit him on the way to the party. He had had a beer on the bus, John thought, seeking an explanation somewhere.

John decided to find an answer to his questions and pressed the call button.

He didn't have to wait long for a doctor to appear, but it wasn't Doc Keppler from his base at San Diego, nor any of the infirmary staff. John had never seen the dark-haired man before. The lab coat had identified him as a doctor, but when the stranger approached, John noticed that he was wearing a beige uniform that he didn't recognize.

Alarm bells went off inside his head.

"Colonel Sheppard, I'm glad you are finally awake. How do you feel?" The doctor spoke with a Scottish accent and for a moment, John thought he sounded familiar, but he was sure he didn't know the man.

Feeling confusion and the first traces of fear, John ignored his spinning and aching head and pushed himself to sit up straight in bed to face the stranger head-on. "Who are you?"

John had the uncomfortable feeling that regardless of the situation, without being able to recall what had happened, he was with his back against the wall. He eyed the doctor sharply, waiting for a reply.

"This is worse than I expected." The doctor shook his head. "I'm Dr. Carson Beckett. I'm the chief medical officer, and I'm a friend of yours."

Friend? John was immediately suspicious on hearing such a broad claim from a stranger.

"Are you with the Air Force?" John asked sharply, not sure whether he should believe that this was actually happening. The headache that was starting to intensify to a steady throbbing confirmed that this was unfortunately not a dream.

"No, I'm not. I just..."

Hah! Caught in a lie? There was something wrong with all of this.

"Did Mitch and Dex put you up to this? Is this some prank? Because if it is, it's not funny. Though your accent is," John demanded. He tried to uphold a clam facade, but internally he was close to screaming with panic. He took a deep breath to steady himself and decided to get to the bottom of the matter.

"Please, Colonel Sheppard, calm down," the doctor insisted. He seemed genuinely worried.

"It's Major Sheppard. This still isn't funny." His head ached viciously and he was starting to feel dizzy. He recognized the feeling from a time a few years ago when he had hit his head hard in a chopper crash. That time he had been in a coma for three days. But while he had lost a few days of memory, including the memory of the crash, his recall of the past had largely stayed intact. It had taken him months to shake the headaches and dizzy spells. Now that he felt like a spike was being driven through his brain, John knew he wouldn't last much longer.

"Colonel...Major Sheppard. You had an accident. Right now, you are in the infirmary. I believe your memory has been affected," the doctor with the accent spoke slowly, as if talking to a child. John didn't need patronizing; he needed an explanation because he was starting to panic. This seemed too real. It just wasn't possible. Why was the doctor calling him Colonel Sheppard? He'd just made major last month. At least he thought that had been early June. He wasn't sure about anything.

"What happened?" John had to force himself to focus on the words, but the words came out slightly slurred. He blinked, trying to keep his eyes open.

The doctor was at his side immediately, a penlight in his hand. John knew what was coming, so he didn't resist when the doctor checked the reaction of his pupils with the penlight. It was the first thing that made sense since he had woken up. This doctor acted like a doctor and he seemed genuinely concerned about John's welfare. If his head hadn't ached that much, John wouldn't have been sure this was really happening. Right now, all he wanted was for his head to stop aching.

John must have drifted out for a moment, because suddenly the doctor's insistent voice brought him back to consciousness. "Colonel, I can give you something for the headache now, but I want to run some more tests later. Are you also feeling dizzy, nauseous or disoriented?"

John gave a small nod, trying to lie as still as possible. The prospect of painkillers sounded good right now. He could hear the doctor fumbling with his IV. A few seconds later, a fuzzy warm feeling started spreading through him, dragging him back down asleep.

oOo

The first sense to return was John's hearing as a soft zapping noise penetrated his drugged daze. At first he couldn't place it, but when he opened his eyes and saw the ceiling with its carefully composed spiral patters, he started to remember.

John thought about calling for the doctor again, but he wanted to see what was going on first. The headache that had brought him down the first time he had been awake was dulled to a mild throb, thanks to painkillers, no doubt. Aside from his hands, John hadn't found any other injuries, so he decided to have a look around.

John winced as he pulled out the IV needle, but the wound hardly bled. He pulled his legs over the side of the bed. His head was swimming a bit, but after a few seconds, the dizziness receded. John put his bare feet to the ground and carefully put weight to his legs. Holding one hand to the head of the bed, he was able to remain reasonable steady on his feet.

John wasn't too eager to start exploring in the burgundy scrubs he was wearing, but there were no clothes in sight and it was better than a backless gown any day.

Standing up, John could see the small room was bare, except for his bed and the IV stand. Steadying himself along the wall, he walked towards the door. To his surprise, the door slid open as he came within three feet of it.

Surprised, he stumbled out into the brightly lit corridor. Suddenly, the lights adjusted automatically and dimmed to twilight level. John questioningly gazed up at the ceiling, but there was nothing wrong with the lights. If anything, the corridor looked as strange as the room he had been in. The ceilings were too high for a military base. Patterns of concentric circles covered the ceiling. John had never seen anything like this before, certainly not on an Air Force base. With one hand against the wall, John worked his way along the corridor. He passed doors like the one in the small room, but didn't encounter anyone until he stood in front of a large double door.

John recognized the large room was obviously part of a small infirmary ward, beds lining both walls. A man and a woman, both civilians, occupied two of the beds, and the Scottish doctor was talking to a nurse.

"Colonel Sheppard!" The doctor had noticed John coming in. "You shouldn't be out of bed."

"I wanted to have a look around," John explained. It sounded silly.

The doctor was by his side in an instant. "You should sit down, Colonel." The doctor led him to sit down on the nearest bed. John was gladder to sit down that he was willing to admit, but he needed to know what was going on.

"Are you feeling comfortable enough?" the doctor asked.

"I feel like I hit my head real hard. But please, someone finally tell me what is going on?"

"I need to run some more tests, I'm afraid, before I can give you an answer." The doctor paused, "You were in an accident on your last mission. It seems that your memory was affected."

That John could understand. Head injury. It made sense.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Major John Sheppard."

"Today's date?" John had been through that routine before.

"No idea. I have the feeling that I have been out a while." John felt uncomfortable with the thought, but he needed an explanation.

"Who's the president?

"Hayes." John had no trouble recalling those facts.

"Your general memory is all right. What is the last you remember?"

"I remember getting off the bus in San Francisco. I was on the way to a party. It was the last weekend of my two weeks of leave. I don't recall ever getting to the party." John shook his head, assuming that he had been hurt after his return to San Diego.

"Do you recall the date of the party?" John wasn't sure why the doctor was asking him. Was he still testing his recall?

"August, the week of the 20th, 2001, of course." For a moment, the doctor looked shocked. Then he caught himself and reverted to a concerned and friendly expression. John had a bad feeling about what he was about to hear.

The doctor pulled up, confirming John's ominous feeling.

"I'm Doctor Carson Beckett. I have known you for the past sixteen months as the CMO of ... this base."

"Sixteen months?" He had lost sixteen months of his life?

"This is difficult for me to tell you, but it is now February 2006." Dr. Beckett looked down.

The news struck down like a blow to the gut. A wave of cold ran over him. "2006. I have lost almost five years. What has happened to me?" John whispered.

"It's complicated. I'm still studying data from scans from you and the others who were on the mission with you, but I haven't figured out what caused your obvious amnesia. I'm sorry." Dr. Beckett sounded torn, but John didn't care.

"That can't be! What are you not telling me?" John hadn't meant to scream this loud, but the shock had transformed into anger at the doctor. Suddenly the two patients from across the room were staring at him. He didn't care.

"Colonel Sheppard, please calm down," Dr. Beckett insisted. "You are displaying some neurological abnormalities that ..."

"Don't call me that! It's Major Sheppard! What have you done to me?" This couldn't happen. The thought kept repeating inside his head. Only the sharp pain that shot through his head like a spike and drove tears to his eyes stopped him abruptly. Everything tuned out, everything except the agonising pain in his head. He felt the hands touching him and heard the voice telling him to relax.

There was a prick and almost immediately the pain dimmed to acceptable levels. John opened his eyes.

Dr. Beckett looked worried and sad as he pulled a blanket over John. "Relax a bit, John."

oOo

It was becoming a familiar pattern - waking up to the cotton wool feeling of sedatives and painkillers. John couldn't tell how much time had passed and wasn't sure whether it was important, but it would have given him some form of hold in a world where he had no control at all.

A blonde woman was sitting in a chair at his bedside. She smiled when she noticed that he was awake.

"Hello John." She put down her book. "I'm Dr. Kate Heightmeyer. I'm a psychologist. Dr. Beckett thought you might want to talk."

John studied her. She was a civilian and for a moment that thought that he might be a mental patient occurred to him

"I think I want to leave," John ventured. He wanted to know whether he was free to go. He wasn't so sure where he expected to go.

"At the moment, it's safer for you to stay here. But I can show you to your quarters if you want to go there for a while. Are you sure you feel well enough?"

John nodded. "Some clothes would be good."

"I'll get you something to wear."

oOo

Fifteen minutes later, John was out of the infirmary, wearing jeans and a black tee shirt. He was following Dr. Heightmeyer down a corridor similar to the one he had seen earlier. She stopped in front of a door and pressed a panel on the side.

"These are your quarters. I'll give you some time alone."

John stepped into the room. His quarters were roomy, compared with the usual on-base accommodations. The furniture looked a bit odd, decidedly modern. There was a bed, a desk, a chair. The room was orderly, but looked lived-in. There was a laptop on his desk. Curious, John switched it on. While waiting for it to power up, he looked around. Obviously he still liked Johnny Cash five years into the future. It wasn't five years from now--now was 2006, John reminded himself.

Surfboard. There was a beach in the area. A Guitar. Had he picked up playing again? He hadn't played since high school.

The telltale chime announced that Windows had booted up. Nothing had changed about that. John sat down in front of his computer. Clearly he had time to play games; he had the icons of Minesweeper, Battleship and Space Invaders on the desktop. Right now that didn't interest him, as he was searching for clues about what he had been doing for the last five years. He opened his e-mail program. To his surprise, there were hardly any messages.

On January 30, he had received a message from Sergeant Simmons about proposed changes in the training schedule. The sergeant asked him to approve.

On February 2, he had received a message from Private Lili Deroche about a movie night showing _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. John raised an eyebrow; they had to be stuck in an out-of-the-way place, if that was the only movie available movie for Friday evening movie night.

The sent messages weren't much more revealing as it turned out. John had sent only a few in January and none in February. He scrolled back to December. Not a single Christmas e-mail. John hadn't been on the best of terms with his father the last he recalled and he couldn't imagine that changing any time soon, although his promotion to colonel had probably pleased his father. John assumed he had sent a letter for Christmas if he hadn't gotten leave. Still, didn't he have any friends to send greetings to? John had always stayed in touch with friends, even if it was just a loose contact.

John's gaze fell on two photographs standing on his desk. The first showed him with Mitch and Dex. They were in BDUs, standing in front of a nondescript off-white building. It must have been hot when the picture had been taken; their faces were tanned and still their faces were reddened.

John took the picture out of the frame and turned it around. _'Kabul, March 2002'_ had been written on the back in pencil. Kabul? John was pretty certain that Kabul was the capital city of Afghanistan.

Somewhere foreign politics must have taken a sharp turn right because John was sure the USAF hadn't sent him to the Middle East on a peacekeeping mission. Looking at the picture of Mitch and Dex on his desk, John felt a twinge of sadness. He didn't used to keep pictures of his two best friends around. He didn't know for certain, but he suspected that they hadn't come back from Afghanistan.

The second picture showed John sitting outside with a group of people. Most of them were wearing dark grey uniforms, but there were some civilians sitting among the group. There was no note on the back of the picture and John wondered where it could have been taken. Smiles were on everyone's faces, drinks appeared to be flowing well from the metal cups on the wooden table. The foliage in the background was deep green, casting shade on part of the picture. Not Afghanistan. It could be anywhere. John studied the people who were so important to him that he had kept a picture of them around. The woman from the infirmary was there, smiling happily. John's eyes narrowed as he regarded the man sitting next to her. His face was turned away from the camera, showing only his profile.

Recognition was a like of flash of lightning shooting through his brain. He had a mission to carry out. Dr. Rodney McKay had to be eliminated.

TBC


	5. Powerless

Powerless

Supra Vires

_(Horace)_

oOo

Rodney was staring at the blank Word document on his screen, trying to write a long over-due letter to Jeanie, when suddenly the door bust open with an angry whoosh. Rodney turned, alarmed and surprised to see John Sheppard already standing in his room.

"I didn't say you could come in," Rodney offered lamely.

The door closed.

Something in the way Sheppard looked at him made Rodney nervous. He reached for his radio, but in his frustration with the world at large, he had taken it off, hoping never to hear from anyone again.

"What can I do for?" Rodney asked.

It was as if Sheppard didn't hear him. Suddenly he was across the room, in front of Rodney. He tried to get to his feet, but before he had a chance to do anything Sheppard reached out and grabbed his head with both hands.

The effect was instantaneous. Rodney couldn't move, couldn't see, couldn't hear - the pain was instantly debilitating. He tried to scream, but if he did, he couldn't hear his own voice. When he finally faded from consciousness, it was a welcome relief.

oOo

A pounding sound dragged Rodney from deep sleep. Cursing the person who had dared to wake him after he had finally fallen asleep, Rodney was tempted to just pull the blanket over his ears and sleep on. He was dead tired. Rodney couldn't remember falling asleep, but Carson had mentioned that fatigue could be an after effect and he had been sleeping even less than usual lately. Rodney flipped his pillow, and the knocking stopped. It was just as well with him.

Rodney didn't want to talk to Radek. The Czech scientist was perfectly capable of running the day-to-day running and maintenance of Atlantis; they didn't need him at the moment. Radek had managed the last two weeks without him. Atlantis hadn't sunk to the bottom of the ocean - what had Rodney been expecting? His track record in the last few months hadn't exactly been stellar. The Doranda debacle came to mind. It was the second screw-up of his career. Admittedly, it had gone well for him. Recruited straight out of college, Rodney had never read the job section of his paper. Area 51 didn't offer much of a view and the climate sucked, but the pay was good, he had a safe job with the government and he had realized his childhood dream before he was forty. He had gone into space.

Rodney had screwed up only twice in his career. The first time had been while he had been working for the Stargate program at Area 51. He had been at Cheyenne Mountain as an adviser, but it hadn't been the stepping stone he had hoped for. His plan had backfired and despite his apologies, a few days later, he had received a transfer order to Siberia. Rodney was sure he had Colonel O'Neil to thank for that. The man was rumoured to be very well-connected to the highest level. But the Russian Stargate program had collapsed and Rodney had found himself back stateside and on the list for the Atlantis mission.

The fall-out of the Doranda fiasco hadn't been as severe as Rodney had expected. In fact, his misstep several years earlier had had far graver consequences. Maybe because the weapons platform had been a keen interest of Earth-based decision-makers, the dire consequences that Rodney had been waiting for never came. In a way, it was worse that way. He was still the Chief Scientist of the Atlantis expedition. He had blown up five-sixths of a solar system and it had been a mere footnote in the reports that Elizabeth sent back to Earth. But on Atlantis, everyone knew. The worst was over. Apologies had been accepted and everyone had gone back to work. People didn't forget that easily. The facade that Rodney McKay presented to the world had been scratched.

The knocks started up again. Rodney didn't plan to react. He didn't want to see anyone, not the well-meaning Radek, not a concerned Carson and certainly not the meddling Dr. Heightmeyer.

When the person outside didn't stop pounding the door, Rodney yelled, "Go away. I'm not opening the door." It sounded childish, but he just wanted to spend one day alone and in peace. That wasn't too much too ask, was it?

He didn't even bother to look who had dared to invade the privacy of his quarters when he heard the swishing sound of the door. Rodney turned his back to the room.

"I'm not doing this." He had had enough. Of everything.

Someone sat down on his bed. "Rodney. I need you to come back to the infirmary. Please, just for a little while." It was Carson, sounding tired and worried.

"Did Heightmeyer..." Rodney began, but Carson cut him off before he could finish his question.

"Colonel Sheppard's woken up. He is out of immediate danger, but he's lost his memory of the past five years."

For a moment, Rodney forgot all about himself. "He doesn't remember anything about Atlantis?" It seemed inconceivable.

"No, the last he remembers is going to a party on Earth."

"How is he?" Rodney wasn't sure how anyone could be dealing with the enormity of suddenly waking up in another galaxy.

"As well as I'd expect." Carson shrugged. "Kate said we shouldn't overwhelm him, but he didn't want to stay in the infirmary, so she took him to his quarters for a while. Maybe he needs some space right now."

"Does he know about...everything?"

Carson shook his head. "There is still a chance that all this is temporary, but frankly, without having a clue about what caused the amnesia in the first place, I can't even begin to speculate." Carson got up from Rodney's bed.

"I'd like to keep on eye on the three of you at least until tomorrow morning. I know you want to be alone right now, but this is serious, Rodney. If there is anything I can do to prevent this from happening to the rest of you, I'll do it." Carson left no room for doubts. Rodney would spend the night in the infirmary. Another night of forced company, another night where the noises never stopped reminding him that he couldn't escape them. But it was better than losing everything he had here on Atlantis. Despite the screw-up on Doranda, Rodney realized, he very much wanted to keep the memories. He had helped make this happen.

oOo

Carson had obviously made an effort to make it easy for Rodney. Hardly ten minutes after Rodney had gotten settled; the blonde medic brought a laptop. She meant well. Rodney leaned back into the pillow, his own anger weaning, now filled with worry. What was he going to do if he lost his memory? He would be useless. Five years ago, the Ancients had hardly been more than a myth. No one had known if there were still any Ancients around. Without the knowledge inside his head, Rodney was toast. They would send him back to Earth and there he had nowhere to go. His father had always said the government was a niche. But then, the mean old bastard had approved of nothing that Rodney had ever done. He just couldn't lose his memory. Not after all that had happened. Those were his memories, good and bad. Rodney wrapped his arms around himself and stared at the wall.

oOo

Rodney didn't know how much time had passed when Kate walked up to him. Her blonde hair looked disorderly; she was trying to pull the errant strands behind her ears. Still, she looked upset. The look didn't go well on a psychologist. Kate pulled up the nearby chair, but didn't launch into a conversation immediately. She just sat there and watched Rodney. He didn't give into the temptation of reacting to her presence; he continued to stare ahead at the wall.

Finally, Kate broke the silence. "How are you feeling?"

"I have been better." Rodney looked down at his knees now. He wanted Kate to vanish.

"What do you think is going to happened to you?" Kate apparently thought he was either five years old or stupid. His brain was going to turn to mush and Ford was to blame. Rodney had hated other people with a passion since he could remember. The classmates who had bullied him, the father who had wanted a different son, Rodney had wished them dead. But he had never felt physical rage like this before, the primal urge to maim and kill.

"You won't believe it, but this time, I don't have an answer. You should ask Dr. Beckett." Rodney knew he was being flippant, but he couldn't care less about what Kate wanted to hear. He didn't want to talk about his feelings right now.

"Is it all right if we talk about the mission then?"

Rodney nodded and took a deep breath, hoping to calm down before he had a heart attack.

"I can't force you to talk about anything, you know that. Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk about?" Kate asked in the sweet tone that Rodney had come to hate.

"Just stop it. I'm pissed and I'm scared. Is that what you wanted to hear? I wished I had killed Ford myself because that way, I would be sure the bastard is actually dead." Rodney ignored the stabbing pain in his head and went on. "Sheppard should have gotten us out of there; after all, he stayed away from the enzyme. Instead he left me there to rot. Thanks very much for that! But I still didn't wish that on him and I'm scared as hell the same is going to happen to me because Carson has no clue!" Rodney had to pause to draw a breath when suddenly a sharp pain shot through his head. It was like someone had stuck a knife through his brain. Rodney didn't know whether he screamed or not; all he did know was that was it. He was fucked. Rodney McKay had always known that he'd end badly, the moment he had stepped through the Stargate. His head exploded and the world disappeared.

oOo

It was her fifth cup of coffee, but it wasn't the caffeine that Elizabeth Weir needed. She needed rest, not just sleep. Elizabeth couldn't recall the last time she had gone to sleep without dreading the next morning. She was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for a team failing to come back through the Gate, for a Wraith ship to show up on their radar. Then it had happened. Sheppard's team had disappeared, vanished without a trace, and she hadn't been able to do anything. All search efforts had come up empty. It could happen again any day. They had enough enemies out there: the Wraith, the Genii, Ford's men.

She would never get used to losing her people. It was part of the job. Elizabeth had known that when she had accepted the position and she had learned the hard lessons in the months in the Pegasus Galaxy. Elizabeth would never be able to accept the loss of good people, but sometimes she was powerless to save them. Still, she would do anything she could to save every one of them—no matter the cost. This one had been costly, for all of them.

"Rodney should sleep for a few more hours at least. He had a seizure after he collapsed and two since. I've put him on diazepam; it kicks in quickly. We can hope he suffers no further seizures, but it's wait and see for the moment."

Elizabeth glanced at the row of beds across the rooms; Rodney looked younger when he was asleep. Without his usual shows of manic energy, Rodney seemed too still. She knew it was different, but like when they had stumbled across the nanovirus in the bowels of Atlantis, her people were starting to drop around her and even Carson was a loss to explain.

"He looks bad."

"Nothing the blood scans can detect. The symptoms seem so different from what happened to the colonel, although the timing is suspicious, I have to admit. I will run a scan with the Ancient Bio Analyzer once Rodney has stabilised. Maybe it will reveal a pattern." Carson was almost despondent. They were his friends too.

Elizabeth took one last look at Rodney. "I guess it's time for me to talk to Colonel Sheppard." She wasn't looking forward to the conversation. She had plenty of experience in opening negotiations with tribal rulers--Goa'uld bent on destroying Earth, Amazon warriors holding the male members of a team hostage-- but she was less apt at navigating her personal relationships.

"He's waiting for you." Carson waved over to the bed at the far end. John sat in bed, reading something. When Elizabeth approached, he put down his book. Elizabeth recognized the tattered covers. It was the worn copy of _War and Peace_ that John had brought to Atlantis when they had first come here, not knowing if they would ever return to Earth.

John looked the same as he had a day before. He showed the stress of the past weeks; his unruly dark hair contrasted his unusually pale face and the lack of sleep showed on his face, but the expression in his eyes was new. John eyed her with outright suspicion and distrust as she sat down on the chair next to him.

"Have you read it before?" Elizabeth asked of the classic John had just put aside. She was desperate for a way to start the conversation without treating John like a stranger. He might not know her, but she knew him and she cared.

"If I have, I can't remember. That's the problem I'm having here. Unless you think I'm just crazy."

Elizabeth didn't react to John's accusatory tone. She couldn't imagine being in his position. "You were reading it on a schedule. A few pages every day. But you never told me why you brought this book in particular."

"Well, I sure can't tell you now."

It wasn't like John, to be this gruff with people. He always tried to get along with almost everyone, even if he kept mostly to himself in the end. He reminded her of Rodney.

"Are you feeling all right? Dr. Beckett said you were having headaches." Elizabeth wanted to make sure John felt well before they discussed more serious questions.

"I don't need another doctor. I need some answers. I would like to speak to my CO," John snapped, but the anger disappeared from his face again immediately, making way to mistrust.

"That's why I came here. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Weir. I brought your personnel file; you can read it after we talk, if you want to. I understand that you have many questions about what happened in the last five years. I have only known you for the last fourteen months, but I'll try to answer your questions as well as I can."

"Where are we? I looked out the window from my quarters..."

"We are in a city called Atlantis." Elizabeth took a deep breath to steel herself. John had heard this story before and he had taken it well the first time. She could only hope he would have the same strength the second time. "Atlantis is located on a planet with the official designation P1X-712. P1X-712 is an Earth-like planet in the Pegasus Galaxy." Elizabeth stopped at John's blank expression.

"Assuming that you are not kidding and considering that I had no ambitions to get into the space program, I don't understand how this is possible."

Elizabeth knew about John's academic background. He must have immediately known that with currently existing technology, they could never have reached another galaxy.

"If Dr. Beckett okays it, I would like to show you something," Elizabeth said in way of an explanation. "It will be easier to explain when you see it."

John looked at her with an expression of doubt, but he made to get up from the bed.

"If Scotty lets me out of here, I'll be curious to see that." He didn't let on any curiosity in his voice, but Elizabeth had seen the look in his eyes before, when John and Rodney had found themselves a new Ancient toy.

"Don't let him hear you say that." Elizabeth had to smile.

oOo

Dr. Weir came across as a no-nonsense woman. Her manner wasn't military and she obviously wasn't in the forces, but the way she had spoken to the Scottish doctor suggested that she was used to giving the orders. John followed a step behind out if the infirmary.

A woman had greeted him as he had passed by on his way out. _'It is good to see you on your feet again, Colonel Sheppard.' _John had recognized the woman with the serene smile from the picture in his quarters. With her short blue top and her long hair, she looked like she had walked in from the beach. The man in the other bed, who had acknowledged John's presence with a nod, didn't look like he could have gotten past a recruiter either. Not wearing too much, and most of it leather, his clothes were not the most remarkable about the man. His impressive dreadlocks stood out. That must have taken years. John hoped he wasn't anywhere near involved in running this base.

They stepped into an elevator. At the back wall, a display showed a diagram of a hexagonal shape, each one of the six arms creating a vertice.

"This is Atlantis. It is roughly the size of Manhattan. We haven't even managed to explore half of it yet. Some sections flooded during a storm last year." She pointed to the center. "The command center and my office are located here."

John nodded. It was much information, but he was trained to take in concise instructions. What he wasn't prepared for was the sudden dizzying rush that threatened to overwhelm him for a second. As soon as it had come, it was over.

The doors of the elevator opened again, and Elizabeth stepped out. John fought to hide his surprise at the change to their surroundings. What he had felt earlier, they had literally been transported. That was decidedly too Star Trek. John shook his head and caught up with Dr. Weir.

Then they stepped into a hall. The sight was not what John had expected. He had been thinking space ship; instead, there was a ring in the center of the room. It looked like on oversized ornament, decorated with symbols. John had never seen anything like it. There were high windows with colored patterns to one side, a cluster of control panels and computers to the other side several steps up. About a dozen people were working; none of them was paying any attention to them.

"So we really are in another galaxy?" It shouldn't be possible.

"Yes, I know it's difficult. When I first heard about Atlantis, I didn't know what to think either."

"For how long have you known about this?" It wasn't just that John was curious about. How long had the military been travelling to other galaxies?

"I have known about the project for about two years. Do you want to go to my office? We can talk there."

John thought about it, but he declined. "No thanks. I'd rather go back to my quarters."

Dr. Weir gave him a long look. "I'll walk you back to the infirmary. Can you manage?"

"I'm good."

oOo

It wasn't like John. He had just stood there and then he had left. He had barely tolerated her presence on the way back to the infirmary. She had expected questions, but he hadn't asked a single one.

"What do you think, Kate? How is he doing?" Elizabeth asked the psychologist sitting opposite her desk.

"He is under extreme stress. I'm not surprised by his reactions. He needs to deal with the new information," Kate reassured her.

Elizabeth still worried about her chief military officer. John had been too calm, almost lifeless when she had shown him to control room. He hadn't behaved anything like the man she knew.

"What can we do to help him remember? If there is anything we can do."

"Without knowing the cause of his amnesia, there might be nothing anyone of us can do about it. I'm the first to admit that," Kate said. "But it's important for him to know that he has people around him who care. I'm going to encourage Ronon and Teyla to visit him. Apart from Rodney, they are closest to him."

TBC


	6. Will

Will

Volo, Non Valeo

oOo

Radek Zelenka eyed the basket of Athosian fruit rolls. Even with the Daedalus making supply runs, Atlantis still traded for most of its food from planets in the Pegasus Galaxy. Green fur berries weren't strawberries after all. Radek put a yellow berry fruit roll on his tray and went to look for a seat. It was just after five a.m., the night shift was still at work and most of the day shift hadn't gotten up yet.

Radek took a seat in the back by one of the large windows. First light was showing over the ocean announcing the coming sunrise. It was going to be a long day. With Rodney in the infirmary once again, the leadership of the science department fell on Radek's shoulders. The news of their survival had leaked out, as it had been inevitable. Lieutenant Ford had only pushed up their timetable by a few months. Radek hoped that months were all that they needed. None of them had worked on this scale before. Bioweapons yes, Radek had worked on weapons' research before. What government wasn't paranoid? But they were thinking about wiping out an entire race. It was the Wraith who thought of Earth as the 'new feeding grounds'. They had to be stopped before they reached Earth or more humans would die. But many people in history had thought they had no other choice. Some days Radek wondered whether the world, if they knew about the Stargate program, wouldn't think that they, who had brought the threat home in the first place, weren't the devil incarnate.

"Do you mind if I sit there?" Dr. Beckett came walking up to his table. He looked tired and his clothing was rumpled. Radek wasn't sure whether the doctor had just gotten up or was going to bed.

"No, no, sit down," Radek said, nodded and bit into the fruit roll. He swallowed quickly to avoid the awful taste lingering in his mouth. Radek hurriedly sipped form his coffee, but it was far too hot.

"Green fur berries?" Carson asked sympathetically.

"I was sure I picked one with yellow berries, but you can never tell. Deroche is a little dilettante, trying to poison us." Radek wasn't a fan of the cooking on Atlantis, but he had eaten worse. It least there was enough coffee now that they had contact to Earth again.

"I don't think it's that bad, Dr. Zelenka." Carson's smile didn't reach his eyes. Radek could tell that it was more than the stress of the past few days weighing on him.

"How is Rodney doing?" Radek asked, afraid of what he might hear.

"Not so good, I'm afraid. Initially I thought he'd experienced the same neurological changes as Colonel Sheppard. I can't explain the Colonel's condition anymore than I can explain Rodney's, but at least the colonel is conscious and appears to be out of danger. I can't say the same for Rodney. He hasn't regained consciousness since yesterday and reads of his neural activity have steadily been dropping since he collapsed. Not even the Ancient equipment has been able to find any external or internal injuries that could explain that." Carson sighed. "I hate this part. We run into things we don't understand and then this happens! If we had had a clue about what we were dealing with we could have helped Aiden!"

"You should get some rest."

Radek didn't know what else to say. He would have liked to reassure Carson that he was confident in his ability to find a solution, but Radek didn't believe in lies.

"You are right. Elizabeth and Kate have been telling me the same for days," Carson said and took a sip from his coffee. Radek said nothing.

"I will come by to see Rodney later." Radek didn't have the time. He should have been up an hour ago, but he was going to make time to visit Rodney.

oOo

Nick Lorne carefully eyed the man standing next to him. Colonel Sheppard was back in uniform, a welcome sight after his CO had been missing for two weeks, but the way Sheppard was staring blankly ahead into space made Lorne uneasy. It was just going to be a quick trip. Nothing was going to happen, M2X-118 was a safe planet, or rather a moon. They had briefly considered setting up the alpha site there, but the prospect of a four-month-long rainy season had deterred them.

"We are good to go on our end, if you are ready, Major," Dr. Taylor told him. Nick was ready and so was Corporal Mars, who would accompany them, Nick wasn't so sure that Sheppard was ready to take the step through the Gate. His first journey through the Gate had been one of the most baffling experiences of his career. He hadn't been able to grasp it working until he had stepped out on the other side in another galaxy. He wasn't so sure yet whether he liked the Pegasus Galaxy. It was definitely interesting and unusual. Alien planets, exotic food, some of which he could have done without tasting, cool space ship and being able to switch stuff on with his mind. That was all cool. But paranoia was in vogue in the Pegasus Galaxy and seemingly for a good reason. Everyone was trying to get them.

"Are you ready, sir?" Nick asked Sheppard. Sheppard only nodded.

"Dial it up then."

Dr. Taylor entered the dialling sequences and the wormhole kawooshed into existence in a spectacle that still amazed a part of Nick Lorne. This time, he wasn't watching, though, he was discreetly watching Sheppard's reaction. The colonel hardly blinked as the deadly wave washed into the room without warning. Of course they were standing at a safe distance, but Sheppard didn't even appear startled the slightest bit or he had himself very well under control. Nick had already noticed that Sheppard liked to come across as just another flyboy, even though his brains and guts had pulled Atlantis out of some hot spots.

oOo

M2X-118 was balmy in the evening hours of local time. The area was quiet except for the sounds of insects. The first survey hadn't revealed any dangerous wildlife, so Nick wasn't worried; this was a safe planet. He and Mars were armed as a precaution only. The Wraith could always show up. Sheppard had finally taken an interest in what was going on. He was standing over the DHD, examining the symbols. Lorne had never cared much about the whole mythology of the Stargate. He left that up to the scientists.

"This is the device that activates the Stargate?" Sheppard asked.

"Yes. Each Stargate has an address of seven symbols and you dial it like a telephone number," Mars went over to Sheppard and explained.

"If I hadn't walked through it before, I wouldn't think this was real. So, this is another planet?" Sheppard tried to make conversation, but Nick got the impression that the man felt uncomfortable.

"We are on a small moon, about twenty light-years away from Atlantis. The Stargate allows us to travel there almost instantaneously. That's how we got to Atlantis in the first place," Mars eagerly explained. He too appeared glad that Sheppard was starting to ask questions. Maybe Dr. Weir's idea was working after all.

"But that's not how you are going to get back there." A shot followed before Nick could turn around to the DHD.

"Drop your gun!" Sheppard's voice was icy. He was pointing a 9mm at Nick. Mars was on the ground, his face contorted in pain, but he was still alive, pressing a hand to his right shoulder.

"You know I can't do that. Give me your weapon and we can go back to Atlantis and sort this all out." Nick wished he were a better negotiator. He barely got alien village elders to give him a sack full of beans; how was he supposed to talk down an amnesiac Air Force colonel?

"He's right, we can talk!" Mars winced from the ground.

"Listen Colonel, Mars needs to see a doctor. Let him go back and we can talk this out, just the two of us." Nick was getting desperate. Mars' wound wasn't in a necessarily fatal spot, but he couldn't see how heavy he was bleeding.

"You're going nowhere because you are going to be dead." It was then that Nick knew Sheppard wasn't going to let them go, no matter what he said. Nick aimed and fired the only shot he had, hoping that he would make his target before Sheppard hit him. He had no other choice. Just before he pulled the trigger, there was a shot and something exploded with a deafening sound. He managed to squeeze the trigger blindly before he was pulled into blackness.

oOo

Normally Rodney would have easily out-talked the monitoring equipment. The only time Rodney ever shut up were the times when he was immersed in deep concentration studying an Ancient artifact? At others times, Rodney was a whirlwind of fury. Radek had been at the receiving end of Rodney's wrath many times before. He questioned the motivation, intelligence and parentage of his hand-picked staff on a daily basis, but he rarely meant it. Rodney was too self-absorbed to hold a grudge, even against Kavanaugh, for a long time. Only one time, during the work on the Doranda project, there had been genuine mockery in Rodney's voice as he had yelled at him and called him names. That time he had meant it. Radek had accepted Rodney's apology. Life was going on and they had to continue working together. If Rodney's only failing was that he couldn't control what came out of his mouth, then so be it. He had saved Atlantis and Earth with his plan to hold off the Wraith ships during the siege on Atlantis.

Still, Radek wasn't going to forget the instant where Rodney McKay had shown what perhaps was part of his true feelings.

Right now, it didn't matter. They needed Rodney on Atlantis. He was a brilliant scientist, no matter his personal shortcomings. Dr. Millhouse's face had been grave when she had shown him to Rodney's bed in one of the isolation rooms behind the infirmary. His condition was still deteriorating and there was nothing anyone could do. Radek gladly would have let his own work be if there was anything he could do to help. Unfortunately there was nothing in his expertise that would be of any help to Rodney in his present state, so he had continued his work on the weapons delivery system. But instead of taking a few minutes to wolf down the stew of the day, he had gone to visit Rodney in the infirmary.

"This shouldn't have happened, Rodney. Not after you did all that to come back to Atlantis." Radek admired what Rodney had done to escape Ford's men. He wouldn't have thought Rodney had it in himself to risk his own well-being for the sake of others.

"You surprised me with all your heroics in last months. You almost blow up yourself and Colonel Sheppard, and then you escaped alone from Ford and his men. Maybe you are more than brains on short legs. Colonel Sheppard has picked you for team for reason. You say you are the smartest man in the Pegasus Galaxy, but we know better..."

A sudden change in the beeping of the heart monitor, an acceleration of the steady rhythm jerked Radek out of his babbling. He slammed down on the call button, praying that Dr. Millhouse would get there quickly.

"Rodney, Rodney. Can you hear me?"

For the first time since Radek had arrived over an hour ago, Rodney moved. His hands twitched and his head rolled restlessly.

"Radek." Rodney was looking at him through half-lidded eyes, but Radek was overjoyed at hearing recognition in Rodney's voice.

"Dr. Millhouse is going to be here in a moment." Radek assumed that Rodney was in pain.

"No. Sheppard...he did this," Rodney whispered. Radek had heard but didn't understand. How could Sheppard be responsible for Rodney's condition?

"Did Sheppard attack you? How?" Radek leaned in closer. He couldn't believe that Sheppard would have harmed Rodney.

"Energy." Rodney gasped and his eyes drifted shut. A sudden shudder went through Rodney's body and Radek was powerless to watch as the heart monitor squealed in alarm. The seconds until Dr. Millhouse and the nurse on duty arrived running seemed endless.

"Dr. Zelenka, you have to leave now."

oOo

"Try contacting them again," Elizabeth ordered. "It's been over two hours; they should have been back by now. Or left word that they were staying out." She blamed herself for not noticing earlier that Sheppard, Major Lorne and Corporal Mars were long overdue from their quick trip to M2X-118. But for once, Elizabeth had taken two hours of private time. Just enough for a shower and to catch up on her correspondence, but it had been plenty of time for disaster to happen.

"Still no response on their end, Dr. Weir."

Elizabeth tapped her radio. "Sergeant Simmons, this is Dr. Weir. Please report to the control room."

oOo

The sound was familiar but Nick couldn't place it. A gigantic wave hitting a beach, but he couldn't smell the salty air or the water. Suddenly the sounds of the ocean had been replaced by a quiet humming. He tried to open his eyes, but there was something wrong. Everything was dark. He couldn't see anything. After endless seconds dark shadows formed in front of his eyes. He couldn't make out what was there, but he could see.

When he heard footsteps a few seconds later, he hoped those were his people from Atlantis coming for him, and not the Wraith or the Genii.

"Major Lorne." A concerned voice accompanied the hand brushing over his neck. The mere touch sent fire-like pain running though his neck .

"I'm sorry. Can you open your eyes again, just for a moment?" The voice asked the impossible.

Nick blinked at a vaguely familiar face hovering above.

"That's good. Now I want you to concentrate. Have you hit your head?"

"Don't think so." His head didn't hurt. Something bad had happened to his neck. He remembered shooting. Sheppard had shot Corporal Mars. "Sheppard...You have..."

"We know major. We know. It's all right. Corporal Mars told us. I need you to focus a little bit longer."

"Can you feel that?"

Before Nick realised the importance of the question he answered. "No." Oh God.

"You have to stay calm now and let us evaluate your injuries, Major."

"No..." His mind protested against the possibilities and he involuntarily twisted away. Immediately, intense pain surged through his neck. Hands were trying to hold him steady, and eventually the pain eased away.

oOo

Elizabeth had to control herself not to start pacing in her office. The team around Sergeant Simmons had been gone only ten minutes, not enough time to report back yet, but she could feel that they were going to bring bad news. Elizabeth got up from her chair, and then she sat down again. She couldn't bear the waiting anymore.

It seemed like hours later when there was a knock on her door, announcing news from the search team.

"We have a radio connection established with the team on M2X-118. Sergeant Simmons wants to talk to you," Dr. Taylor let her know. Elizabeth couldn't tell whether he had bad or good news for her. Her instincts told her that Simmons had found nothing good on M2X-118.

Elizabeth followed Dr. Taylor out into the control room and activated her radio. "Sergeant, please report."

"Dr. Weir, I'm afraid we ran into some problems. Corporal Mars and Major Lorne have been both been injured. They are not good shape, but they are still alive. We need a medical team over here; Lieutenant Ritter doesn't want to take the risk transporting them before a doctor has had a look at them."

"Where is Sheppard?"

"We are not certain yet. The DHD has been damaged, so he still has to be on the planet. Luckily we brought the Jumper, so we can dial the Gate from there."

"Back up a few steps, Sergeant." Elizabeth was confused. Why was Sheppard not with the others and how had they been injured? A cold feeling settled between her shoulder blades. Something had gone very wrong.

"I'm not so sure myself what happened. According to Corporal Mars, Sheppard did the shooting. He is adamant about it. He says that after Lorne damaged that DHD, Sheppard ran off. That's all we know so far."

"What do you think? Is the information solid?" Elizabeth asked, hoping against hope that it was all just a misunderstanding. First Ford had turned on them and now Sheppard. She couldn't help thinking that it was all connected somehow to the Wraith enzyme.

"The DHD has been damaged. It looks like someone took a P90 to it. Mars got one in the shoulder, but he is on the up-and-up. We need more people if we are going to start a search for Sheppard." Simmons's voice came over the radio.

"I'll assemble a team and we'll be with you in ten minutes." Elizabeth

"You are coming as well? I don't think this is a good idea, Dr. Weir. If what Mars says is true, Sheppard is capable of anything. He got a gun and he knows how to use it." Simmons sounded concerned.

"I'll be all right," Elizabeth said decisively. "We'll see you on the planet. Atlantis out." She hoped she knew what she was doing. There had to be a way to persuade John to come back to Atlantis.

Kate would probably say she was trying to make up for dropping the ball with Ford. They had all failed to reach Ford before it had been too late, or maybe they couldn't have kept him on Atlantis no matter what. Elizabeth was determined to get to John and bring him back to Atlantis.

TBC


	7. Respite

Respite

Nondum Omnium Dierum Sol Occidit

oOo

After Dr. Millhouse had chased him out of the isolation room, Radek hadn't been able to return to the lab. He knew he wouldn't be able to focus on any task he attempted. As much as he complained about the arrogant man, Rodney was a friend to him. This time, it wasn't a case of hypochondria. Rodney was in serious trouble.

Radek sat down in the informal waiting room Carson Beckett had created not long after their arrival in Atlantis. He worried about Rodney. It had been almost half an hour since Rodney had flat-lined. The fact that it was taking so long, that was probably a good thing. Dying was quick. Radek sighed. He should be going back to the lab and work. Just as he wanted to get up, Dr. Millhouse came through the door of the infirmary. Her face was a mask of impassiveness and it was impossible to tell what news she was bringing.

"Dr. Zelenka, I thought I might find you still here..."

"How is Rodney?" Radek interrupted her, not in the mood for small talk.

"He is alive, for now. But his neural activity has dropped considerable during the last half hour and I'm afraid this is a continuing trend. Dr. McKay is in a deep coma right now."

Radek nodded. "What's the prognosis, doctor?"

"Without knowing more about what caused his condition, I'm afraid I can't be very optimistic. At the moment, his brain activity will sustain autonomic functions, but if he continues to deteriorate like this, he'll eventually suffer brain death."

"How long does he have?" Radek hardly dared to ask, but he needed to know the facts.

"Dr. McKay's condition worsened considerably over the last hour. He would have had several days, but now, a day, maybe less. I'll have to consult with Dr. Beckett and Dr. Biro, but I don't think they'll know much more than I do. We need to know what caused Dr. McKay's condition in order to find a treatment."

"Yes. Can you let me know as soon as anything changes? I'll be in the lab." Radek had an idea. He had not forgotten what Rodney had told him, just before everything had gone to hell, but he hadn't been sure how much credit to give a dying man. At least, he was going to check it out; he owed Rodney that much.

Radek walked out into the corridor and tapped his radio.

"Dr. Weir, this is Dr. Zelenka. I need to speak with you; it is urgent."

He got no reply. "Dr. Weir. I need to speak with you. It is urgent, about Dr. McKay.

"Dr. Zelenka. Dr. Weir is off-world at the moment. There has been an incident involving Major Sheppard. It's pretty chaotic, so unless the world is ending, you'll have to wait." Radek recognized the voice of Dr. Taylor.

"Yes, world is very well ending. Zelenka out." Radek clicked out his radio and stormed off to the lab. Where were people when you needed them? He was going to do this alone if he had to. Rodney had figured out a way to tap into the main computer from the lab sometime last year after the Genii invasion. The access protocol was locked up tight in a file on Rodney's computer, and it was just a matter of finding it. Radek let himself into Rodney's private lab and switched on the laptop.

oOo

Ten minutes later, he had Rodney's password hacked. The man was too easy, using Colonel Carter's locker combination. He would have thought the man would go for something classier. But that was Rodney. Finding the access protocols was harder than figuring out the password. Radek had to wade through denigrating progress reports about the staff, unfinished letters to McKay's sister and dozens of mission reports until he found what he was looking for.

Twenty minutes later, Radek was king over Atlantis. The power of Atlantis sensors was at his fingertips. Oh well, at least until someone found out. But that someone would have been Rodney, or him, so no one was going to know about his little experiment.

He scanned for the presence of life-forms first. Nothing unusual showed and the log for the past day didn't show that an intruder had been aboard Atlantis. Looking though the logs for energy consumption, nothing had spiked during the last forty-eight hours either. He did find something unusual, looking for energy discharges during that time frame. He found what he was looking for.

It was at the right time and in the right place. About an hour before Rodney had first collapsed, an unusual burst of energy had been released inside his quarters. Two life-forms had been present at the time. The door to his quarters had activated just before the energy surge and just after. It had been an attempt on Rodney's life and Rodney himself had told him who the do-er was: Colonel Sheppard.

If nothing else qualified as the end of the world, this did. Radek wasn't an alarmist, but he needed to warn Elizabeth. Sheppard could very well be out to kill her as well.

Radek tapped his radio.

"Taylor, I need to talk to Elizabeth, it's life-and-death. And I'm not kidding."

"She's off-world right now, Dr. Zelenka. I'm not even sure who is in charge." Dr. Taylor was starting to sound nervous at the predicted Armageddon.

"Sheppard is going to kill people, so get security to infirmary. Do something!"

"Are you serious?"

"Just do it!" Radek screamed in exasperation when suddenly he became aware of a soft ticking sound. Ticking sounds were bad, very bad. Things that went boom. Radek dove under the table and there it was. The device looked to be Wraith and blinked in a menacing green. He tried to detach it, but it wouldn't budge. He lost valuable seconds, before he recalled to just run, run and hope the door would close behind him fast enough and seal the explosion within the lab. Rodney would be so pissed at him for destroying his precious lab, but Radek would gladly listen to Rodney ranting and raving if it meant that Rodney recovered from whatever Sheppard had done to him.

The doors slid closed in agonising slowness as Radek sprinted away. He wasn't safely around the bend yet when the explosion rocked the entire level.

oOo

Only the single moon and the stars over M2X-118 faintly illuminated the grassy plain stretching out in front of the Stargate. The Jumper was parked aside and Dr. Beckett and the other medics immediately hurried to help Lieutenant Ritter with the wounded.

"Dr. Weir. My men have secured the area and we are ready to start a search, but with the darkness, we can only rely on the LSDs to aid in the search. The lack of visibility will make our efforts difficult." Simmons explained

"Do you have any further information yet, Sergeant?" Elizabeth inquired. She didn't have any experience to help in a coordinated search; her skills were in negotiations. But for that to happen, Simmons and his men needed to find John first, preferably without having to shoot him.

"We don't know anything new yet. We're planning to make a sweep by Jumper, as soon as Dr. Beckett has taken Mars and Lorne back to Atlantis. I tried the Ancient database, but there is nothing that can help us in there. Clearly they never explored this planet. Without the Jumper's sensors, we have no chance of finding the colonel in the darkness. He is almost thirty minutes head start on us by now."

"I understand. I'll check with Dr. Beckett and see how much longer he needs." Elizabeth headed over to the Jumper.

Carson and Dr. Biro were getting the injured soldiers placed on the craft.

"Carson, how much time until you're good to leave for Atlantis?"

Carson looked up from the still form of Major Lorne. "The sooner the better. I hope Simmons knows how to fly these things steady."

oOo

Nick's world was moving too fast. He tried to stop and noticed that he wasn't even moving; he was lying still, and the world was moving.

Suddenly, with a yank, the sliding motion stopped and only Nick's head continued to spin. He must have made a noise, because someone started talking to him.

"Major Lorne, can you open your eyes for me?"

He recognized the accent; it was Beckett.

Nick risked a blink, but the bright light sent pain through his head, so he slammed his eyes shut immediately. He felt sick from the moving around. Without warning, a hand touched his neck. The pain was instant and agonising. Nick screamed. He tried to roll out from under the pain, to move away, but his body wouldn't obey him.

"Sorry, Major, the local should take effect any moment. I need to have a closer look at the wound on your neck."

"Hurts like hell," Nick whispered. It felt like his neck was on fire.

"I can imagine. You were grazed by a bullet. You were very lucky." Carson didn't sound like he meant it.

Nick didn't feel like it either. But before he could say anything else, he drifted off again.

oOo

Elizabeth wasn't sure she preferred the Jumper to a commercial airplane. Sure the leg room was gigantic, but the prospect of a ten thousand year old craft zooming through the nightly air made her a slightly uncomfortable.

"We can only scan small segments at a time. It's going to take a while before we find him. But if he is on the planet, I don't see how he could have escaped. We'll find him." Sergeant Simmons tried to reassure her obvious discomfort. Elizabeth nodded. She had heard it all before.

They had been in the air close to ten minutes already, flying one circle after another. It was after almost twenty minutes, when Simmons finally found a single life sign down on the planet.

"I can't say for sure whether it's human. But it's pretty isolated. The problem is that we are over a wooded area. I'm going to have to set us down further away in the nearest clearing. It's about 400 meters from where we picked up the life sign."

"That might be a good sign. If Sheppard hears the Jumper, he might panic," Elizabeth considered.

"I'll take us down. You should stay in the ship, ma'am. There is no telling what he will do. He tried to kill Mars and Lorne back at the gate.

"I'm not willing to believe that. I'll stay back. I want to try to reason with Sheppard." Elizabeth was insistent. She didn't want to lose another good man without trying everything in her power.

The Jumper set down without a hitch in a small clearing. The forest was quiet and dark as the three men plus Dr. Weir stepped out of the craft.

"I'll stay back with the Jumper. Sheppard might try to steal it, even if we lock it. The gene might enable him to break in anyways."

"We'll stay in contact," Simmons ordered. "Keep the lights down. We don't want to spook him."

The night was thick black down in the forest. Sheppard would hear them, long before they would be seen. Elizabeth had to struggle to keep up with the men, who were used to marching though rugged terrain, but she was determined to see this mission through. She was not going to let John Sheppard down.

They made silent progress. Simmons checked periodically if Sheppard was already down on the LDS. Finally they were able to track his signal straight ahead down a small ravine. They had gotten lucky; it was a strategic opportunity.

Simmons motioned for Elizabeth to stay back between the trees as he and Lieutenant Shaw moved to approach the ravine. Elizabeth watched from her post in between the trees, but soon the two men disappeared. All she could hear was the rustling of trees. She prayed the two soldiers would manage to corner Sheppard without panicking him. They were armed with Wraith stunners, hoping to bring him down without harming them.

A sharp scream pierced the night, followed immediately by the sound of stunners being fired. Once, twice, then again the stunners were discharged.

"There he is." Someone--it sounded like Lieutenant Shaw--yelled and she could hear movement in the underbrush. More stunner fire, then it was finally silent in the woods.

"Dr. Weir." Simmons voice crackled over her radio. "We have him. Had to stun him three times, but we got him. We're taking him back to the Jumper now. We'll meet you there?" It was phrased as a question. Simmons knew how little experience she had in the field.

Elizabeth glanced at the darkness surrounding her, and then she answered. "I'll meet you at the Jumper."

TBC


	8. Senses

Senses

Invisible

oOo

Radek's ears were ringing when he finally dared to lift his head and look up. He had survived. He scrambled back to his feet, noticing no injuries, except a slight headache and possibly permanent injury to his eardrums. On wobbly legs he walked back towards the lab. The signs of the explosion were clearly visible. The doors had been completely blown out and Rodney's lab had been reduced to a blackened room filled with debris. The biting smell trickled at Radek's eyes and he had to sneeze. Wiping at his eyes, he reached for his radio; he needed to let someone know what he happened. He was surprised no one had responded yet. An explosion like that had to have rocked half the City and alarms should have gone off all over Atlantis.

A sudden hand on his shoulder made him spin around. One of the new marines--Zelenka didn't know his name--stood there, his mouth moving, but Radek could only hear garbled sounds. The young soldiers seemed concerned.

Radek pointed to the direction of the destroyed lab. The marine frowned, said something else and another hand had Radek by the shoulder, this one belonging to a medic. Radek let himself by walked along the corridor and cooperated as the medic checked him over for injuries.

The medic seemed to be confident that Radek had remained relatively unharmed in the explosion, but then he pointed to his ears and to the gurney, signaling Radek that they were making a trip to the infirmary. Radek fervently shook his head; he had work to do. Sheppard had tried to kill Rodney and he was probably behind the surprise under his desk as well. Radek wanted to examine the bomb. He needed to know where the components had come from; maybe it would help them find out who was behind Sheppard's seeming betrayal.

But the medic was insistent about the visit to Carson's domain.

At least Radek could convince him to walk there under his own power. Arriving in front of the infirmary, he was stunned. The waiting room was overfilled with injured expedition members, mostly scientists with minor injuries: scrapes, bruises and small burns. Radek dropped in one of the few remaining free seats, looking around with worry. It looked like bombs had gone off all over the city. The damage had to be enormous. McKay was in the infirmary, hopefully still holding on, meaning he couldn't afford to sit around waiting until it was his turn, especially when others had more severe injuries than ringing ears.

oOo

In less than five minutes Radek was down at the Power Core. Using the trick he had gleaned from Rodney just before the bomb had gone off, Radek went to access the main system from where he thought he'd go undetected.

Bombs had gone up in four locations: Rodney's lab, the Jumper bay, the control room and the main lab. Damage reports hadn't been filed yet, but Radek was able to call up the Ancient diagnostics and found alarming news.

Power supply of the city was fluctuating heavily. If he didn't fix this, they could all blow up. The bombs would look like firecrackers in comparison to an unstable ZPM.

Radek accessed the power grid, trying to find a way to remotely dial down the ZPM. They couldn't risk shutting it down, not if they didn't have to. They would lose all protection for the City and be vulnerable to an attack.

It was no use; the ZPM and the system tying into the power grid of Atlantis were too well protected from any interference. It was ironic; the technology that had been supposed to protect them would kill them in the end. Radek had to do something else to stop the impending overload of the unstable ZPM. The ZPM couldn't supply all the power they were drawing and if there was a failsafe, it wasn't kicking in. Radek had to minimise their power consumption by shutting down one system after another. It was the only way.

Radek's fingers flew over the keyboard as he navigated the Ancient system, trying to find a way to conserve as much energy as possible without exposing the City to danger.

The weapons banks--they needed them armed, in case this was a Wraith plot. The shield--they needed to be able to get it up in case the Wraith attacked. They wouldn't be able to keep it up for much longer than a few minutes. The damage to power grid had made sure of that, but Atlantis was going to need all they could give her. The deep space sensors--they didn't necessarily need them. They still had the Wraith device they had appropriated from the Genii, to tell them if Wraith were on their way. He could shut them down to conserve energy. What else? Radek's mind was racing. He needed to act fast before the ZPM went critical.

There were so many areas that needed power: the infirmary, the kitchen, the control center. The lab had been partially destroyed by the explosion, but they would probably need all the power they could get to find out what had happened. Radek searched through the data, trying to find out what consumed the most power, always keeping on eye on the ZPM at the same time. The energy fluctuations were getting dangerous. He wished Rodney were there. He was the chief expert on the Ancient technology. Radek wasn't sure how close they were to an overload, but the fluctuations were bouncing off the scale. If the ZPM overpowered, the whole City would blow up. Radek closed his eyes for a second and made the decision. There would still be the Naquadah generator powering the critical areas of the city. He could only hope that Rodney's way in the back door set up enough control to let him interfere with the ZPM. Radek entered his authorisation code and waited. For a second nothing happened, then the computer shut down and the lights went down. The ZPM had powered down. Radek slid to the floor. For the first time, he noticed that his ears were still ringing. He had been so focused that he had shut out his environment. He closed his eyes and wrapped his shaking arms around his raised knees. He had taken a big chance and might just have condemned Atlantis. If the Wraith choose this moment to attack, they would be utterly vulnerable.

oOo

Miko Kusanagi found Radek sitting in the same spot almost an hour later. At first, she didn't even see her colleague. Sent to check out why the ZPM had suddenly failed, she had gone down to the power core, armed with a flashlight. Miko didn't feel at all comfortable, down in the bowels of Atlantis, especially now the lights were out and the sensors were down. The Wraith could be hiding down there.

When the beam of her flashlight brushed over Radek sitting with his back to the computer console, Miko let out a scream before she realized who she was seeing.

"Dr. Zelenka, what are you doing down here? We have been wondering what happened? Why haven't you contacted anyone?" Miko started asking questions, but stopped talking as she took in his shaken appearance.

Radek didn't reply, but he got to his feet. He didn't appear steady and was holding on to the edge of the console.

"I think I should be going to the infirmary." Radek spoke uncharacteristically loud and he wasn't looking at her. Miko was starting to be seriously concerned for the other scientist. After what had happened to Dr. McKay, maybe something had happened to Dr. Zelenka as well. Maybe they were all in danger.

"I'll bring you to the infirmary," she said firmly and stayed by Radek's side ready to try to catch him should he lose his balance. But the engineer kept steady, one hand at the wall all the way to the infirmary.

Miko was shocked at how crowded the waiting room alone was. Every available seat was taken and not by people anxious to hear how their friends and colleagues were doing, but by injured Atlanteans. Most of them seemed to have suffered only minor injuries, but still, there were at least fifteen people waiting to see a doctor.

"You should find a spot to sit down." Miko said to Radek. "I'll see what I can do to get someone to see you." She feared that Radek might have hit his head. He displayed some of the classic symptoms that Dr. Beckett had mentioned in his first aid course. Miko was starting to wonder whether she should have brought Radek to the infirmary instead of just calling for a med team from the Power Core.

Radek remained standing where he was, looking somewhere into space beside her. He seemed genuinely out of it. Miko dreaded leaving him standing around alone but there were enough people in the waiting room in case he fell or something else happened.

Miko took heart and thought open the doors to the infirmary. Nobody seemed to notice her, at least nobody was yelling at her to get out. Dr. Beckett was currently busy with a complaining Calvin Kavanaugh, so Miko thought it safe to interrupt.

"Dr. Beckett..."

"He's busy." Kavanaugh snapped before Carson could reply.

"Miko, I'll finish with him in a minute." Carson was wrapping Kavanaugh's wrist, which looked only mildly burned, but Kavanaugh was almost as big a hypochondriac as Rodney.

"I'm done." Carson turned to her.

"I know I should have waited," Miko apologized. "But something's wrong with Dr. Zelenka. I found him sitting at the Power Core. I think he'd hit his head really hard. It's like he isn't there at all when I'm talking to him. I'm just worried..."

"Well, that sounds like he might have a concussion. Is he still sitting outside?" Carson took her seriously.

"I hope he hasn't walked away." Miko knew she shouldn't have left Radek alone out there. If he had walked away it would be all her fault.

oOo

Miko and Carson were at his sides, both talking but he couldn't hear what they were saying. His ears were no longer ringing. He could hear buzzing and he was feeling dizzy. He allowed them to push him through the double doors into the infirmary. Inside it was even more crowded than it was outside. Every bed was occupied and he caught the sharp glare of Dr. Kavanaugh, who sat on a bed with a miserable expression on his face.

Carson touched his arm and stirred him over to a bed. Radek figured he wanted him to sit down and complied. Carson disappeared again into the melee, but Miko remained standing next to him. Her presence made him feel uncomfortable. He could see her talking and stopping occasionally, but he couldn't hear what she was saying and didn't know what he was supposed to say in response.

"I can't understand." Radek tried, not sure how loud he was speaking or how much noise there was in the infirmary.

Miko had heard him and stared at him, worry and shock on her face. Radek thought he should probably be worried too, but his head was buzzing too much.

Miko was just running off when Carson reappeared. Miko snagged him by the sleeve and talked to him with flurried motion of her hands. Carson frowned, but quickly came over to Radek. He was writing on a clipboard, and then held it for Radek to see.

_Were you injured in the explosion?_

Radek shook his head. Beckett still looked at him questioningly, so he explained. "I saw bomb under Rodney's desk, then I ran. The blast knocked me over in the corridor."

Carson nodded. Then he wrote more. _Did you hit your head?_

"Maybe. My ears are ringing and I hear buzzing since then. I was so busy with ZPM; I thought I was just too close to the explosion..."

_Temporary, _Beckett wrote.

Despite the chaos around them, Carson took his time to pronounce judgment. He seemingly wasn't satisfied with the reaction of Radek's pupils, frowning and sending him for an x-ray. Radek reluctantly complied, following the nurse on wobbly legs. The Ancient version of x-rays worked without the gamma radiation and supplied an immediate diagnostic with the scan.

It took only a few seconds for the red light of the scanner to move over Radek, and then the machine finished. Radek sat back up and saw the nurse who had performed the scan smiling at him. She said something and Radek could hear grumbling sounds over the obnoxious buzzing noise.

She signaled for him to wait and a short time later, Carson appeared with her. He was scribbling on his clipboard.

_Your scan is fine. You have a slight concussion. Your hearing should return in a few hours._

Radek nodded. "Thank you." Radek felt dizzy, but as long as he didn't have to stand or walk around, he was confident that he could work. Atlantis had been plunged into a crisis. They needed everyone at work, at least until the City's defenses were operational again.

Just as Radek was ready to leave, Carson held him by his sleeve. Radek looked at him. Carson's lips moved. Radek heard grumbling sounds and he had a fairly good idea what Carson was trying to tell him. Carson was reaching for his clipboard to write, but Radek held out a hand to stop him.

"Yes, I know. I will go to my quarters and rest. But only for a few hours; the City needs me. McKay is in the infirmary and the ZPM is down. The Wraith could attack at any moment."

Carson blanched at the news. He bent down to scribble furiously.

_ZPM down?_

"The Naquadah generator powers the infirmary in case of power outages. I had to take the ZPM off-line. It was going to explode. Boom." Radek didn't waste any word and wiggled from Carson s grip.

"I promise, I will go and rest."

Radek did indeed intend to rest in his quarters, after he spoke to Elizabeth about his suspicions. He wished he could speak to Carson about what Rodney had told him. If Carson could use the information to help the scientists, Radek wouldn't hesitate to tell Carson. But he needed to make sure the City was safe first. That would have been Rodney's first concern as well. He needed to speak to Elizabeth, tell her what he had learned and convince her to take action against Sheppard.

oOo

Vibrations were running through his entire body, subtly but persistent shaking him from a deep void. It was like waking from a long sleep, John came to consciousness disoriented and only slowly becoming cognisant of his surroundings. It took a few moments for him to realize that there was nothing to see, he was enveloped in darkness. He could feel the vibrations underneath and within his body and he could hear a faint humming noise, but he couldn't see. Panic gripped him hard and he involuntarily gasped a deep breath of air and jumped to his feet. At least that was what his mind intended, his body never followed suit, he lay weak and dormant, not feeling anything beside the vibrations and a faint pressure. John concentrated, willing himself to open his eyes. For a second, he succeeded, and a ray of light penetrated the darkness he was trapped in. He wasn't blind, but something was wrong with him. He couldn't move, as much as he tried, he couldn't open his eyes again.

Suddenly he realized what might have happened. It took for a slight tingling sensation in his hands to realize that he had probably been hit by a Wraith stunner blast. The vibrations and the humming, he hadn't been able to place these sensations. He wasn't in Atlantis, but maybe aboard one of the Jumpers. Normally, he wasn't so acutely aware of the sound of their engines, but robbed of his vision for the moment, his brain was bound to zero in on his remaining senses.

The tingling begin of the return of feeling to his body was tormenting, he could feel his limbs being there, but beyond the awareness of their presence he could feel nothing. John tried to open his eyes again, and this time he managed to catch another second of precious light.

"I think Sheppard is awake." A gruff male voice sounded somewhere above him.

Hearing the presence of another person was reassuring. One of his team would stay with him, even he had merely been stunned. But the voice wasn't familiar, Sheppard tried to open his eyes and see who was there, but all he was able to see was a distorted glimpse of a tan face. This wasn't right. John wanted to twist away from the stranger, but his body wasn't obeying his commands.

John heard movements close by and then he felt pressure on his arm.

"It's all right John, we are on our way back to Atlantis." He recognized Elizabeth's voice. He was among friends. John didn't understand what Elizabeth was doing aboard a Jumper, but he was relieved that she was nearby while he waited for the darkness to recede.

TBC


	9. Investigations

A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews. They make this story even more fun to write.

Investigations

Non Defendi Homines Sine Vituperatione Fortasse Posse, Neglegenter Defendi Sine Scelere Non Posse

(Cicero)

oOo

Nick became aware of something heavy resting on his neck. It was pressing him down, cutting off his air supply. Nick tried to draw a breath, but the vice around his neck only tightened further. He was being choked. His eyes flew open and were assaulted by the bright white lights of the infirmary. Pain shot through his brain and squeezed his eye shut again instantly. Nick tried to bring up his arms to pry loose the unseen hands of his assailant, but he was being held back and he couldn't move his arms up more than a few inches. He was in panic; he was going to die if he couldn't breathe. Nick opened his eyes again against the offensive light and tried to sit up. He hadn't moved an inch up when pain stopped him. The pain was everywhere—in his neck, flaming down in his chest and up his head. The seconds of effort had him panting and sweating hard as he waited for the pain to fade away. The constricting force on his throat had lessened, and he could finally get some air. It seemed a fair exchange for the crippling pain.

Nick only then noticed the voice at his side. He couldn't make out soothing words at first, but the tones were soothing. A blurred face appeared above him and suddenly the pain started dimming rapidly, pulling him down back to sleep.

oOo

Radek sighed with frustration. His hearing was improving as Beckett had promised, but much of what his colleagues were saying was still being drowned out by the persisting noise in his ears. He had finally retreated to solitary work in one of the Ancient labs. Illuminating his workspace with a storm light, he was bending over a tray of bomb fragments that had been secured from Rodney's lab. Radek was the only one who had seen one of the bombs before it had gone off. Dr. Taylor was still working on recovering footage from the security camera. Radek did not hold out much hope. If the bomber was still in the City, and Radek suspected as much, he probably hadn't left a trail leading to their identity.

The bomb fragments were tiny, but uniform shards of metal, not more than five millimeters long with pointed ends. Like fragments off a grenade, they would slice into anyone near the explosion, amplifying the damage done. Someone had wanted more than just to harm the City; the bomber had wanted to inflict maximum damage to its inhabitants.

Radek passed the scanner over the fragments, careful to know as much as possible about them before examining them more closely and exposing himself to possibly more danger.

The scanner clearly identified the fragments as Naquadah with an unknown organic substance. The Ancients had used Naquadah in their technology, most importantly to create the Stargate technology. The bomb had looked Wraith in an eight-arm spider-like design, blinking green from a single eye. It had reminded him of the organic Wraith technology, but he supposed it could just as well be of Ancient origin. Atlantis was hexagon shaped with its six long arms reaching out into the sea.

Radek rubbed his forehead. He was getting nowhere sitting at a desk, pondering the container of bomb fragments. Radek grabbed the container firmly with both hands and headed for the infirmary.

oOo

Radek found Carson nearly asleep at the desk in his office. Dr. Millhouse and Dr. Biro were still patching up the last of the victims of the explosion in the infirmary. When Radek came in and didn't see Carson, he was surprised and wondered if he was with someone more severely injured or if something had happened to Rodney while he had been gone. Dr. Biro quelled his concerns by pointing to Carson's office. With a stern look, she said something and Radek caught some of the words, understanding he should be resting in his quarters and not wandering around. Radek decided to pretend that his hearing hadn't started to recover yet and headed for Carson's office.

Carson was startled as he came in and he stared at Radek. "Radek...rest…here?" Radek heard Carson speak, but couldn't make out all the words yet over the buzzing sound.

"Carson, I'm sorry, but this is urgent." Radek set down the container on Carson's desk. Carson eyed it and its contents warily, but said nothing.

"I have been looking at bomb fragments. They are Naquadah, coated with organic substance. We have to find out where the bomb came from." Radek tried to make Carson understand why the situation tolerated no delay. They had to find the identity of the bomber before they could cause any more damage.

Carson nodded. "I... If…you…to bed." He looked like he needed some sleep himself.

"I can't go to bed. There is a theory I have to check out. I promise, once I'm sure, I will rest." Radek meant it.

Carson wrote his question down with an expression of alarm on his face. _What do you know?_

"Yesterday, I was seeing Rodney. It was just me talking to him, when he woke up. He was conscious less than a minute, but he claimed Colonel Sheppard attacked him. When I asked Rodney how he did it, he only said _energy_. I didn't say anything because I didn't believe Rodney's mind was clear when he told me and I didn't want to accuse Colonel Sheppard without verifying first. I went to check out the sensor logs and I found an energy discharge in Rodney's quarters the morning before he collapsed. But before I could tell anyone, the bomb went off." Radek's hands went flying.

Carson's expression went from disbelief to shock to anger and then he unleashed a fiery tirade on Radek. He only seemed to recall Radek's temporarily impaired hearing when Radek stood and watching him yell was unmoved.

_You should have told me! You nearly got two people killed!_

Some of the effect was lost in print, but the words still hit Radek hard. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone. He merely hadn't wanted to accuse an innocent man.

Carson had scribbled down more.

_Sheppard took Mars and Lorne hostage, he shot both of them and now he's missing on M2X-188. Elizabeth is there with some of the marines, they are looking for him._

Radek flinched. He'd had no idea how bad it was. His recent actions made Sheppard look a likely match as the bomber. He had tried to flee the City at all cost, even risked killing his own men.

"How are Lorne and Mars?" Radek asked after a pause when he had himself under control again.

_Lucky. They are going to be fine._ Carson wrote the clipped reply. _Let's go to the lab._

Carson led the way to the medical lab behind the infirmary. He didn't say another word and averted Radek's gaze. Radek felt hurt, but he understood why Carson would be so upset. Rodney was a good friend, and Carson would have had no reservations to trust his word. Rodney's recent brush with the enzyme had instilled caution in Radek and he had wanted to make sure there was more to Rodney's claims, were more than semi-conscious ramblings.

The lab was a jumble of Earth and Ancient technology. The Ancient devices were often superior, but it would take centuries to catalog and study every piece of technology found in the City. Even Colonel Sheppard, who had the strongest ATA gene, couldn't figure out everything.

Carson set the clear container down on the scanner bed and the scanner above activated, sending down a red line passing over the container. They realized what was wrong within moments. The container started to vibrate as soon the scanner beam made contact.

"Shut it down," Radek yelled at Carson as the scanner beam stuttered and the fragments started dancing inside the container, bouncing against the walls. It was no use; Carson was white-faced staring at the container. He showed no reaction to Radek at all. Radek was powerless, without the gene; he had no way of controlling the scanner. Radek shook Carson by the shoulder as the scanner beam crept further over the container, millimeter by millimeter and the Naquadah shards were slamming hard against the inside of the vessel containing them. It was going to shatter if he didn't stop this. They were drawing power from the Naquadah generators. Unfortunately, this was a medical lab and was powered by emergency power in case something needed to by analyzed quickly.

The shards continued to hammer against the walls of the container. No matter what material the transparent container was made of, the Naquadah shards would destroy it.

Radek had to do something and he wasn't the sort to engage in self-sacrificing bravery. He left that to Colonel Sheppard. Radek gathered speed and knocked down Beckett, who, thanks to superior body weight and strength, only stumbled backwards, and then he lunged for the container. He tried to avoid the scanner beam as he grabbed the box firmly. Still it felt like a knife was cutting through his hand. It took only a painful second, and then he held the case in his hands. The box was still rattling with shards trying to escape, so Radek ran. He ran as fast as he could for the door. Panicking, with a potentially deadly weapon in his hands, Radek raced along the darkened corridor. Without the ZPM, the City wouldn't be able to protect them from whatever was on the Naquadah shards. If it was some sort of toxin, or worse, a virus, it might already be spreading and they had no warning. Radek raced towards the infirmary. He was hoping to make it to the isolation rooms at the back of the infirmary. The Naquadah generator powered the essential isolation protocol, which was the only choice Radek could think of if they were to survive.

Finally, Radek reached the last isolation room. He managed to press the door panel and throw the box inside before he slumped to the floor. Radek heard a muted blow from inside, and breathed a sigh of relief.

oOo

Thousands of hot needle pricks brought stings of pain to John's limbs, but he still welcomed the return of feeling, of any sensation in the darkness surrounding him. The recovery from paralysis hadn't been so painful the last time. This time, his muscles contracted under the pain and he was powerless to do anything. The voices of the others in the Jumper were an anchor tying him to reality. He'd had time to listen. There was Elizabeth. She was sitting to the right of him, reassuring that he was going to be all right and was going to be back on Atlantis soon. The two men in the Jumper spoke little, but enough to let John know that they were there.

John was starting to feel Elizabeth's touch on his forehead and arms, another indication that his nerves were starting to recover from the blast.

"John, we are going to be in Atlantis any minute now. Lieutenant Shaw is about to dial Atlantis. Dr. Beckett will be waiting in the Jumper Bay. You are going to be fine."

John forced his eyes open to catch a glimpse of Elizabeth, needing to connect a face with the voice. Elizabeth looked down on him with a deep furrow of concern on her face. John didn't understand why she was so concerned over a stunner blast. John wanted to reassure her that he was all right.

"Liz'th." The name came out a slurred whisper.

"Yes, John, I hear you."

There was pressure on his chest, and at first John assumed it was Elizabeth's hand touching him, but the pressure intensified, sending pain along his stunned nerves. He let out a sound of protest, but the pressure did not ease. Elizabeth's voice disappeared beneath the rushing and sluggish, rhythmical pounding that began to fill his ears. John tried to hang on to her concerned words, but his hearing faded away as pain threaded its way through his recovering muscles. John screamed.

oOo

"I don't think you managed to do any additional damage with your little stunt. The isolation room is sealed off for now, until they can figure out what mean little surprise you discovered."

Carson was back on his feet and finished examining Radek for the second time that day. Carson tried to shut out the infirmary, filled with injured expedition members. He fought to focus on just a single patient; he could hardly recall the last time he had had the chance to sit down. The day had been an endless stream of wounded pouring into the infirmary --any doctor's nightmare.

Radek nodded. "Has Dr. Weir returned yet? I need to speak to her urgently."

"No, she isn't back yet. I wonder what is keeping them. But it is good to see that your hearing has returned to full capacity. Still, I'd like to keep you here for a few hours."

Before Radek could protest, Carson held up his hand. „I know you are a busy man, but you do have a head injury. Working yourself into the ground won't do anyone any good. Just lie back down and try to rest. I will let you know if anything new develops."

Radek said nothing and leaned back on the pillows. He didn't look too happy, but at least he appeared to accept Carson's advice. Carson shot one last look at the scientist before he turned away.

He was thinking about what Radek had told him. He was still angry about Radek holding out on him. He should have notified him immediately when Rodney had regained consciousness. Any data about Rodney's illness could help him create a treatment strategy.

_Energy_.

It was just one word and there were many reasons Rodney could have said it to Radek. Carson's first thought was energy weapon, but they didn't have any in the armory, except some Wraith stunners they had managed to pick up. A Wraith stunner couldn't have the effects they were seeing in Rodney. Rodney would have been disabled right away. Instead his decline had been gradual. There had to be some clues about the cause. Scans, blood work, Carson had worked through it all, but he would go through it all again, if there was a chance that he might discover the crucial piece of data.

Retreating to his office, Carson gathered the exam results of both Sheppard and Rodney, fervently hoping to find a common link. He pushed a white board in the already crammed space and tacked the scan images up in consecutive order. If there was a common patter, he had yet to find it. Carson had speculated that John had developed increased activity in a region of the brain that was responsible for the psychic ability of some of the Athenians but he had never gotten the chance to follow up on his theory. Was it possible the colonel had attacked Rodney through mental powers? The Ancients had mastered the transition between the corporeal and the energy state, so it was possible, but it had taken them millions of years of evolution _and _genetic tampering. There had been cases of mere humans achieving similar abilities in the SGC files, but without evidence he wasn't going to go there just yet.

Rodney's scan patterns showed just the opposite. Carson stared at the scans, going over them from back to front, and the other way around, hoping for the revelation. When nothing would come to him, he got up to pour himself a cup of coffee from his long cold pot he had brewed hours ago. The smell of the cold coffee nauseated him, so he decided to brew some fresh coffee after all. Carson filled the small machine. As he saw the first drops drip into the pot, it struck him. He had been missing it all along. The bigger picture. Carson abandoned the coffee without a thought and was back at his desk in an instant, spreading out EKG printouts. He had been monitoring Rodney's heart when he had first returned under the influence of the enzyme. Carson had worried about the stimulating effects, but Rodney had been all right, physically at least. After Rodney's collapse, Rodney had started to display signs of intermittent bradycardia. The issue had been secondary at the time in Carson's mind; he had focused on finding a neurological cause for Rodney's illness.

With the seizures Rodney had been experiencing when he had first fallen ill, a suspicion was forming in Carson's mind. He had performed every conceivable test for venoms know to Earth and a few known to the Ancients, but nothing had turned up.

Acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter, naturally occurring in the human body, it would be an untraceable poison, at least if they were on Earth. He still had the blood samples taken from Rodney during the last few days. Maybe the Ancient technology would help shed some light on Rodney's mysterious illness after all.

Carson was about to rush to the lab when his headset radio activated.

"Dr. Beckett, you are needed in the Jumper Bay. Major Sheppard has been injured," Dr. Taylor informed him over the headset.

"What's his condition?" Carson wanted to know to be prepared for the emergency.

"Unknown, all Dr. Weir said was that he's unresponsive and seems to be in pain."

TBC


	10. Realizations

A/N: Sorry for the long break between the last chapter and this one, I was gone on a late summer vacation. It's cheaper in September;)

Realizations

oOo

Horribile Visu

The slim body was writhing underneath Elizabeth's hands. She tried calling John's name, but any awareness that he might have regained since the stunner blast was gone. John was moaning incoherently, but his eyes remained closed. Elizabeth could tell he was in much pain. His limbs jerked in a frenzied fit and she was helpless to look on. She needed to help him, or at least prevent him from hurting himself. She tried to hold him down, while still calling his name in the vague hope of reaching into the place where he was.

When Sergeant Simmons finally came to her aid and pinned down Sheppard's legs, Elizabeth breathed relief.

"Take his head, so he doesn't hurt himself any worse then he already has." Simmons looked grim as he fought to control Sheppard. "Status, Shaw?"

"Dialing her up now, sir."

The seconds seemed interminable until they moved forwards and the event horizon swallowed them.

On the other side, everything was moving very fast. They went straight to the Jumper Bay and before Elizabeth could recover from the shock of the trip through the wormhole, the military men had already opened the rear hatch and medics were boarding the Jumper. Simmons helped her up and got out of the way as Carson and his team closed in on Sheppard's still form. He wasn't moving anymore.

Elizabeth leaned dazed against the hull of the Jumper, her mind still reeling with the events that were unfolding around her. Carson and the two medics crowded around John, tossing back and forth clipped jargon that sounded like code words to her ears. It couldn't be good; they wouldn't be delaying so long otherwise. Elizabeth wanted to turn away, but she was drawn to watch whatever tragedy was unfolding.

"When did he stop breathing?" The head of a blonde woman shot up suddenly.

Elizabeth stared at her. "I don't know. I didn't….he seemed…" The woman turned back to her patient. Elizabeth wanted to cry, but she hadn't gotten to where she was by crying.

oOo

With no time for taking a jog or reading a few pages to relax, Elizabeth had settled for a few minutes on the balcony. Reports of the damages to the City were still coming in from response teams. To her relief, there had been no fatalities. Still, the threat of an attack by one of their enemies was now greater than ever. Right now, Elizabeth was concerned with the welfare of two individuals from her key staff. Without them, they might not be able to defend themselves at all.

"We managed to stabilize Sheppard fairly quickly, but I'm afraid that it's only for the short term. It seems that he and Rodney are affected by the same illness. The good news is that I'm fairly certain that Ronon and Teyla are not affected. They are still experiencing withdrawal symptoms, but I released them earlier today. Frankly, I needed the room for other patients after what happened," Carson said, explaining his most recent finding. Elizabeth had asked the physician to her office before the emergency briefing. She needed to know if they were dealing with an internal threat before she made a decision about managing the crisis.

"I doubt they disagreed with that," Elizabeth said and smiled. "When can I talk to Sheppard?" The motivations behind the shooting on M2X-188 were still unexplained and no one other than Sheppard would be able to shed light on this act of betrayal.

"This will be difficult, I'm afraid. I suspect Rodney and John might have been poisoned with acetylcholine, but I haven't been able to prove it. "

"Can you treat them?"

"Yes, I have started both of them on biperiden. We should see the effects pretty soon. But I'm worried about something else. I have no idea where someone got the material to poison them. It's not anything we brought with us."

"Are you saying that someone on Atlantis poisoned them?"

"Yes. I can't find any trace of foreign substances in their blood, nothing to tell us where the acetylcholine came from. Rodney fell ill three days after his return from Ford's men; he was definitely poisoned here. John…"

"Wait, Carson. John was alone on the planet and I was with him all the time in the Jumper. How could anyone have poisoned him?"

"I don't know. Are you sure he was alone on the planet?" Carson shrugged.

Elizabeth stopped pacing and looked square at Carson. "Of course, I'm sure. We scanned for life signs from the Jumper." She lowered and shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I don't think anyone could have been on the planet, but it's certainly possible." She shook her head again. "I want to keep this quiet as long as possible. The rumors are going to start flying soon and the whole City will be talking about the shooting." Elizabeth sighed.

"It's the talk of the infirmary already." Carson had heard the nurses chatter. There was always talk during the post-mission check-ups. Atlantis wasn't a normal military base. They were an isolated City in the middle of a strange galaxy, everyone knew everyone and there were no secrets. "Corporal Mars just got out of surgery with Dr. Biro, and Major Lorne is sedated. Neither of them has given any details of what really happened, besides what Corporal Mars told us on the planet. It's going to be a while."

"I need to talk to them as soon as possible, even it's just for a few minutes. We knew that Sheppard shot at them, but we don't know why. The poison couldn't have accounted for that."

"No, certainly not. But the colonel is probably just as much a victim as Rodney in this."

"We can only hope so, Carson. We need to get to the bottom of all this. Miller is off-duty anyways right now and I have been thinking the investigation should be in civilian hands, at least for the moment. If there is a chance that Sheppard is really involved, Stargate Command is going to hear about it. They are going to wonder how objective Sheppard's own chief of security was."

"Sheppard is pretty popular with most of the people here, as far as I know. He's easy to get along with, at least that's how most people see him."

"You don't agree?" Elizabeth was surprised. Carson seemed to be amiable with everyone.

"I can sympathize with him, but I don't know how he lives with himself. But I shouldn't be one to talk. This galaxy doesn't always bring out the best in us." Carson avoided looking at Elizabeth, but she knew what he meant. They had all made their share of mistakes, out of ignorance or ill judgment.

"I think Radek's view is differentiated enough to run the inquest. He is good with people and he knows a lot more than he lets on. I'll tell Dr. Taylor to help him with the surveillance footage and the computer logs."

oOo

Radek was stirred from sleep by a distant voice. He instantly reached for his glasses, expecting to find them beside the bed, but nothing met his hand. He opened his eyes with a start and then he remembered that he had been in the infirmary to catch some rest. He found his glasses on a table near the bed. Looking for the source of the voice that had woken him, he didn't see anyone around, but his headset was next to his glasses. He had just put it back on when Dr. Taylor called for him again over the radio.

"Dr. Zelenka, are you receiving me? Dr. Zelenka?"

"Dr. Taylor. I'm here. What news do you have?" Radek stretched his arms.

"I have just returned from a briefing with Dr. Weir. She ordered us to pursue the investigation into the sabotage."

"Someone should have woken me for the briefing." Radek put on his glasses. He shouldn't have fallen asleep in the middle of a crisis.

"Dr. Beckett thought it better to let you rest. I can meet you in the infirmary. I have downloaded the surveillance footage from the system. We should be able to view what has happened prior to the explosions. I concentrated my search on the last four days. There is an enormous amount of footage recorded everyday by the security systems, but it would take days to sift though it all."

"Then we better get to work."

Radek pulled the blanket off him and folded it neatly at the end of the bed. He found his shoes under the bed. A well-meaning nurse must have taken them off him after he had fallen asleep. Radek had just put on his shoes when Dr. Taylor entered the infirmary, a laptop under his arm.

Radek got up to meet Dr. Taylor when the technician stopped him. "Are you sure you are well enough to get up, Dr. Zelenka? We can go over the footage here. I brought the laptop with me." Taylor seemed nervous, as he passed the laptop from one side to the other.

"I'm fine." Apparently Taylor thought every scientist was as big a baby as Rodney. "We'll go to the medical lab where we don't disturb anyone."

oOo

There was a whole lot of nothing on the surveillance tape. Radek had wanted to see the footage of Rodney's office first. Starting with the day of Rodney's return to Atlantis, the men scanned through the video in reverse. Rodney's private lab, which served his office at the same time, was located at the end of a long corridor, far from the nearest transporter. Aside from Rodney and the maintenance staff, no one had reason to pass by this corridor. The first day of footage passed by without a living being crossing the sights of the camera. It was well into the night of the day after Rodney's return when for a few brief moments a dark figure flitted across the screen.

Dr. Taylor immediately paused the video and replayed more slowly. The figure was only a vague outline in the dark corridor as it slid past the camera and into Rodney's office.

"The lights should have been triggered as soon as anyone walked in. Atlantis automatically reacts our presence since it's been awakened. It's not just a simple motion detector you can turn off; it's actually a heat trigger." Taylor wondered as he tried to enhance the contrast of the video image. "Maybe someone with the ATA gene…"

"Last year, a Wraith managed to hide for several weeks in the City. There are a lot of smart people on the expedition, and anyone could have figured out how to deactivate the lights." Radek didn't mention that anyone with the know-how to take out the heat-sensor would have hardly left the security cameras alive and risked detection. "At least we can rule out all women and Ronon probably too," Radek said instead.

"That's right. The way he is hunched over, it's impossible to tell how tall he really is, but I will try to get a better idea of what he is wearing. It looks like a dark sweater and possibly jeans." Taylor squinted at the screen.

The clothes would prove a futile track; Radek was sure of that. This had not been the work of an amateur. Whatever the bomber had worn was long gone. Maybe tossed into the ocean, or burnt.

"We should take the control room footage next." It was possible to sneak into a lone corridor at night, but the control room was another matter. Guards were posted at all hours and technicians were monitoring the City day and night.

Taylor nodded and opened a new video file. "This is the camera filming the dialing computer. It should have caught him in action." Taylor started to play the video, but after only seconds, it fizzled and there was only static.

"I have no idea what happened. There must have been a camera malfunction. That couldn't have been a coincidence." Taylor sounded genuinely panicked, but Radek wondered why Taylor only now noticed that there had been no recording of the dialing computer. In times of paranoia when their mere existence was a secret, not a minute in the control room went unmonitored.

"There are other cameras, right? We can see their footage," Radek said with mock cheerfulness. He had the feeling that Taylor was playing dumb with him, but he didn't want to confront him before he knew more.

It turned out that all cameras had conveniently blackened out ten minutes after the mystery man had placed the bomb in Rodney's quarters. Radek would need to try it out himself, but he didn't think many people would have been able to disengage the cameras within ten minutes, including walking the distance from the lab to a secluded terminal.

"He must have turned them off to stay undetected. The control is under pretty tight security, just in case. I heard that the Genii tried to take over the City last year…"

"I know. You were in the control room most of the past two days. Did you ever notice someone sneaking around?" Radek specifically was wondering whether Sheppard was sneaking around. He hadn't crossed the colonel off his list of suspects yet. Weir and Beckett were keeping an open mind, too open in his opinion. Sheppard had tried to kill Rodney for reasons yet unknown, but he _was_ a path of destruction, possibly as agent of one their enemies. The thought deserved consideration in Radek's mind.

"You are asking me about Colonel Sheppard?" Taylor looked at Radek with an expression of bewilderment. "You don't think he could ever betray us, not after all that he's done."

"I didn't say he has and neither should you. Did you notice anyone?" Radek asked, already knowing that the whole City would be talking about how he could suspect Sheppard.

"I hate to say it, but I only saw the colonel."

Perhaps Taylor wouldn't squeal after all.

"But he was with Dr. Weir all the time, if I recall right."

Radek made a mental note to talk to Dr. Weir about their visit to the control room. Taylor seemed to be as good as a witness as an investigator. Radek couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten on the expedition. But there was Kavanaugh after all…

oOo

Time seemed to stand still in the small isolation room. The steady twilight was only punctured by the steady beeps of the heart monitor that had thankfully found their way back to an even rhythm. Carson had come under the pretense of having to check up on Rodney, but it was a task his competent staff could complete with efficiency. In truth, he needed to see Rodney. Not so much for Rodney sake, as for his own well-being. Rodney had made remarkable progress towards recovery in the last six hours. He had recovered stability, giving Carson much peace of mind, but he still had a long way to go.

Rodney looked at peace and showed no sign of outward injury. Sheppard had done damage that was impossible to detect, both physically and emotionally. None of them would know the full impact until Rodney woke up. He was going to wake up; Carson had to force himself to believe at times when he was treating his friends. Atlantis needed Rodney for the scientist he was, but some, albeit few needed him for the person he was. Rodney was a complicated man. His exceptional mind made him special. He viewed the world like very few people did. Carson could only begin to understand the depth of possibilities Rodney had to be seeing in any situation. Rodney was always ahead a few steps of the others; he just sometimes forgot to factor in the human element. People weren't as predictable and Rodney couldn't figure them out as easily as a piece of alien technology. Carson knew that Rodney was at times truly frustrated with people, even though he pretended not to care at all. The SGC had given him much leniency as they recognized his potential, but even Rodney had to work with others. Mostly those collaborations ended in mutual loathing and only grudging respect, if that, but on Atlantis, Rodney seemed to have found at least a few friends. They had joked about needing to get out more their first evening on Atlantis, but apparently Rodney had meant it. He and Sheppard got along much better than Carson could ever have imagined Rodney getting along with anyone, let alone with someone in the military. Having worked around Rodney and around the US military, Rodney's opinions about the military were no secret.

Rodney and Sheppard exchanged barbs, but they never argued, at least as far as Carson knew. Working for the team had done well for Rodney, who had never dreamt about getting out into the field, let alone going through the Stargate on a regular basis when they had been working in research at Area 51. Rodney had even started to get back on his feet after his last mission. He had complained a lot, but he had been past the worst of the enzyme withdrawal. Carson, Kate and Elizabeth had kept a not-so-distant eye on Rodney after his return from Ford's men, but Kate had only backed up what Carson had been thinking himself. Rodney was for once reacting normally--he was angry. Angry at the world, angry at Ford, but he was dealing with what happened. It was unfair, a cruel blow of life that just then, when Rodney had turned around to gather his life back together someone had tried to kill him. Carson was convinced that Sheppard would never have harmed Rodney out of his own free will. He might have misgivings about the military man's methods, but Carson didn't doubt John's loyalty to Atlantis and his friends. Rodney and John were an unlikely pair, but there was no doubt that they were very close.

Right now, Sheppard was in an isolation room across the hall, under heavy guard. Only Carson and Dr. Millhouse had access to him, until they knew how Rodney and he had been poisoned. Elizabeth refused to take any chances.

There was a knock at the door and it slid open with a soft noise. Dr. Faraday leaned in hesitantly, the light from the corridor falling into the room from behind her.

"Dr. Beckett, I'm sorry to disturb you. I need to show you something." Dr. Faraday sounded hesitant; she was gripping a sheet of paper in her hand.

Carson shot a last glance at Rodney, and went to meet Dr. Faraday outside.

"Did you finish the blood analysis?"

"That is what I wanted to talk to you about." Dr. Faraday was nervous. "Dr. McKay's and Colonel Sheppard's blood contains high levels of synthetic acetylcholine. That's what we expected to find."

Carson started to get the feeling that there was something they hadn't expected to find.

"I analyzed the synthetic acetylcholine. The presence of different isotopes shows the poison comes from Earth, not the Pegasus Galaxy. That means-"

"I know." Carson stopped her. "I know what it means. We have a traitor in Atlantis."

TBC


	11. Conspiracies

Conspiracies

Discite, moniti!

oOo

Dr. Faraday stared at Carson in shock. "That makes no sense. Why would anyone…Why would anyone want to play into the hands of the Wraith by destroying Atlantis? There is nothing to gain from that. If the Wraith ever make their way to Earth, we are all doomed."

"You are right; there is nothing to gain from working with the Wraith. I can't imagine them agreeing to an alliance with anyone. We are nothing but food for them. But maybe destroying Atlantis isn't the point of all this." Carson hadn't had the chance to think about the motives behind the attacks. He had been too busy treating the many injured expedition members. "There are a lot of people and Earth, including at the SGC, who think the Atlantis mission is creating more problems than answers. We came to find technology to defeat the Go'auld. They are gone and we have made new enemies."

"I never thought even you had doubts," Dr. Faraday mumbled. "Sorry, I didn't mean. I just thought…. you developed the gene therapy that made it possible for a lot of us to come here, so I didn't think you ever wondered whether we were doing the right thing, being here."

"I do wonder at times. Maybe we should have stayed on Earth before trying to sort out intergalactic conflicts, but we are here now." Carson shrugged. He wished it were that easy.

There was a tense silence. Dr. Faraday finally nodded. "I should go back to the lab."

"Dr. Faraday, I need you to hold off on your report, until I have spoken to Dr. Weir."

"Spoken to me about what?" The two scientists turned at hearing Elizabeth's voice from the direction of the door. Elizabeth looked like she had fallen asleep in her clothes, but she had probably not been to bed yet. None of them had had the time yet.

"Dr. Faraday finished the test results for Rodney and Sheppard. She was able to confirm that they were poisoned with synthetic acetylcholine. That's not very surprising, I expected that. But we also know now that it was synthesized either on Earth or with supplies from Earth." Carson repeated what Dr. Faraday had told him to Elizabeth. Her face showed that she came to the same conclusion as he had.

"I need names. I need a list of everyone who has the skills to synthesize it."

"That's going to be a long list. Half my staff has more degrees than I do and we have an extensive electronic library of reference texts on just about every subject. Someone could have read up on the subject."

"Great." Elizabeth sighed. "Give a copy of the list to Radek and Dr. Taylor. Unfortunately there is no way to trace what was smuggled in, which would have been the easy way to bring it aboard Atlantis." Elizabeth sat down on a nearby chair and ran a hand through her hair, bringing only more disorder to it. "At least we know how Rodney and Sheppard were poisoned. Now the question is who poisoned them. I need to talk to Major Lorne. Major Sheppard's behaviour is connected to all this and I need to know what really happened on M2X-118."

"All right, you can talk to him. But I can't promise anything. He is still slightly sedated and on pain medication. But you can try." Carson led Elizabeth across the infirmary. Elizabeth pushed aside the privacy curtains drawn around the bed and approached. There was already a chair beside the bed. Someone had been visiting earlier.

As she came closer to the bed, Major Lorne opened his eyes.

He blinked, and then finally seemed to take in where he was and who she was.

"Dr. Weir?"

"Major, are you up to answering a few questions about what happened?" Elizabeth asked. She was worried. The major didn't look very good. He was pale and seemed hardly able to keep his eyes open. A neck brace kept him fairly immobile, but he seemed to hardly notice.

"I think so, ma'am."

"That's good," Elizabeth said and smiled; she remained standing for the major to be able to see her. "What happened on M2X-118?"

"M2X-118?" Major Lorne echoed, no recognition ringing in his voice.

"You were visiting the planet with Colonel Sheppard and Corporal Mars when you were injured."

"I remember." The major spoke in slow, measured tones. "The colonel shot Mars."

"Can you remember why he shot Mars?"

"Nothing happened. He just shot Mars. He said nothing." Major Lorne frowned as if he was now remembering something.

"Sheppard damaged the DHD. He didn't want to go back, he kept saying."

"When did he say he didn't want to go back?" Elizabeth was puzzled. Had Sheppard shot Mars without any provocation?

"I tried, I tried, but he shot me. He shot me," Lorne repeated softly and his eyes drifted shut.

"Dr. Beckett says that you are going to be all right, Major." Elizabeth didn't know what else to say.

The alarm came on shrill and sudden just as Elizabeth was about to leave the area around Major Lorne's bed. Shouts and rapid footfalls followed and Elizabeth stepped out into the main infirmary to see what the commotion was all about. Dr. Millhouse, Carson and Dr. Faraday were all crowded around a bed on the opposite wall. Everyone appeared to be talking at once.

"Someone shut off the alarm!"

"Oh God, he's dead."

"I was only gone for a minute. I would have heard if…"

"Is that…"

"It's simply not possible…"

Elizabeth couldn't see what was going on. The alarm fell silent. Elizabeth pushed herself a way through to the bed of Corporal Mars. The man's face was swollen and discoloured and a piece of IV tubing was wrapped around his neck.

"He's dead." Carson looked as shocked as everyone else, but he seemed to have the most presence of mind. "It looks like he was strangled."

"I can see that." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Carson. How could this happen? I was right across the room."

"I hate to be the one to point this out, but we have a lot of people here who have been trained in killing other people." Carson shrugged.

Carson was being cynical, but he had a point. Someone had strangled a man in a room full of people and nobody had heard a thing. Overpowering the sedated man had probably not taken a lot of physical strength, but to remain undetected had taken careful planning. There was a plan being executed with cold efficiency. Elizabeth couldn't tell what the objective was, but it was happening all around them and it was happening fast.

"Have Dr. Biro examine him." She turned to Carson. "I don't want a word about the details leaving this room. As far as anyone is concerned, Mars died as a result of his injuries."

"You aren't serious?" Dr. Millhouse stared at her.

"Was there anything not clear about what I said?" Elizabeth asked sharply. Dr. Millhouse ducked at her angry words. "I didn't mean..."

"I assume we all understand the seriousness of the situation. Someone killed Corporal Mars while we were all here." Elizabeth forced a smile. Her people didn't trust her right now. "That someone is still in the City. After what happened today, people are bound to panic once they hear what happened, so the longer we keep this calm, the better."

Everyone nodded in understanding. Dr. Millhouse looked frightened and Elizabeth wasn't sure how well the young woman was dealing with the day's events. She had been with the expedition since their contact with Earth a few months ago, after their battle with the Wraith. This was her first real test in the Pegasus Galaxy.

Dr. Faraday and Carson were only pale and tired, but if they were shocked by what had just happened, they had managed to set the emotions aside. Elizabeth had to force herself to do the same. As the expedition leader, she couldn't afford to feel angry or betrayed.

oOo

Radek Zelenka was unaware of the events in the infirmary as he walked down the corridor of the living quarters, flashlight in one hand, and the duty roster for the control room in the other. The cameras had been off-line at the critical time, so Radek had decided to reconstruct the events in the control room the old fashioned way - by finding witnesses.

Radek heard a door open somewhere down the corridor, but no light appeared. Everything remained dark. Radek switched on his own flashlight and rounded the corner. In the dark, Atlantis seemed like a gigantic maze. Radek's shin made painful contact with something solid and he dropped the flashlight.

Radek groped around for the flashlight on the ground and again bumped against the object. It was large and wooden. A crate? What was a crate doing in the middle of the corridor?

A loud mechanical noise made Radek whirl around, but it was too late. He saw a flash of blue energy, then nothing.

oOo

All the isolation rooms looked depressingly the same. Four seamless grey walls, the smooth grey door with a deceiving control panel - anyone with the gene could lock the door with their thoughts. Sheppard would be able to keep her from leaving the room without lifting a finger, if he were awake. Carson had assured her that between drug treatment and the stunner blast, Sheppard wouldn't be going anywhere for a while. Still, Elizabeth felt better with the armed guards standing outside, carrying stunners. She wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

Sheppard was a man in deep trouble. The shooting wasn't public knowledge yet, but Atlantis was due to check in with Stargate command in thirty hours and she simply could not omit a shooting involving several officers. Elizabeth kept hoping there was another layer to be peeled off. She was going to talk to Major Lorne again, in the morning, which was rapidly approaching with no sleep in sight. But it was possible that Lorne knew nothing more than he had already said. Maybe there had been nothing more than he had said. Only Sheppard could tell her why he had shot the two marines. Elizabeth was convinced it hadn't been the result of any injury or psychological stress. Corporal Mars' dead body made her believe otherwise.

The mechanical whoosh of the door drew Elizabeth's attention away from Sheppard. Elizabeth nodded to the marine guard and he let Dr. Biro pass inside.

"Not what I expected to see in the Pegasus Galaxy." Dr. Biro crossed her arms in front her chest.

"So, it was murder."

"Yes, Leon Mars suffocated. Someone who knew what they were doing. They broke his hyoid bone, probably with a blow of the side of the hand." Dr. Biro demonstrated. "A nice and quick hand-to-hand move. The rest was mainly for show.

"There is no doubt?" Elizabeth didn't think so.

"No, it's definitive. I'm sorry."

"Is there any way you can run more tests, on the tubing that was used to strangle the corporal for example?" Elizabeth had never dealt with the details of a criminal investigation. Her area of expertise was mediation and negotiation, not fact finding. Elizabeth wasn't even sure what protocol said in case of a homicide on Atlantis. She had hoped never having to deal with that kind of event.

"That's more Dr. Beckett's area of expertise. He has been working on compiling genetic profiles of the humanoid races we have met so far. I doubt that the Genii willingly gave up a blood sample..." Dr. Biro trailed off.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. She would need to have a word with Carson. The project was news to her. Carson was supposed to study the Wraith DNA for his retrovirus, but having data about their few allies and many foes would help them rule out the possibility of an intruder having killed Mars.

oOo

John had been dreaming for a long time. He had been dreaming about flying silently, without effort, without hearing the noise of engines. He had been one with his craft as he had flown high over snow-covered mountains, green fields and deep blue lakes. John was perfectly at peace. This was what he had always wanted. He had wanted to fly. The dream seemed to last forever, but suddenly the silent perfection was disturbed by an annoying beeping sound. John tried to ignore it, but he couldn't. He opened his eyes.

For a moment, he was confused. He didn't know where he was. Everything was grey and concrete in the dim light.

"John, take it easy. Everything is all right." A strong hand caught his. John looked up and found Elizabeth sitting in a chair by his bed. She looked liked she had slept very little lately, but she was smiling.

"Elizabeth." John fell back on his pillow, waiting for the pain to ease. "What happened?"

John lowered his hand, and Elizabeth finally let go. His confused mind was slow to process and only now he noticed that he wasn't in the infirmary, but in one of the isolation rooms. "Why am I here? What happened?"

"What do you remember?" Elizabeth evaded his question.

"Not much really. Nothing that might explain how I got here. The last thing I recall is my session with Kate." The memory was slow to come to the surface. John knew that there was more, but he couldn't pull the image out of the fog.

"That's good to hear. Carson has been worried." Still, Elizabeth seemed taken aback at his answer. Her smile wavered as she answered.

"What happened? How long has it been since I went to see Kate?"

"It's been three, no, almost four days since. But it's good that you remember. Carson was worried…," Elizabeth repeated before she hesitated and broke off. She folded her hands nervously.

John was starting to get worried himself. "Are the others all right?"

"Ronon and Teyla are fine. Rodney has been very ill, but Carson thinks he is on the road to recovery." Elizabeth avoided looking at John. John knew there was something she wasn't going to tell him about.

"That's good to hear. I'm feeling pretty tired. Can you send Carson along later?" John wasn't lying about feeling tired. The brief conversation had exhausted him. He wouldn't last much longer, but he needed to speak to Carson before he went back to sleep.

"Are you sure?" Elizabeth's gaze lingered on him.

John nodded softly, forcing himself to stay awake.

oOo

The footfalls that woke him only minutes later belonged to the physician. John opened his eyes and saw Carson settle in the chair where Elizabeth had just sat.

"Doc. I must have drifted off. How long has Elizabeth…?"

"Only a few minutes. How are you feeling?" Carson's smile didn't reach his eyes.

John thought for a minute. "Giddy. Drugged. I feel like I have been out a while."

"Around twelve hours. You should be feeling more like yourself in another twelve."

John nodded. "That's good news." Then he remembered. "What about Rodney? Elizabeth said he's ill?"

Carson stared at him with shock. "She didn't say…Rodney's recovering a bit more slowly than you, but he should wake up within the day as well."

"Elizabeth didn't say what?"

"She didn't mention you didn't remember anything, but it makes sense, I guess. All your scans have returned to normal after the poison wore off."

"Carson, I want it in English and I want it now." Scans? Poison? There was a lot Elizabeth had neglected to mention.

"Rodney and you, you were poisoned with a synthetic neurotransmitter. It took us some time to find that out, but luckily we brought drugs to treat-."

"Wait a minute, Carson. Why would the Wraith…? Did Kolya do this? Did the Genii get a hand of us again? I swear I should have killed him when I had the chance." John couldn't believe that of all the things to happen to him in a foreign galaxy, he had been poisoned.

"It wasn't the Genii. At least we don't think so. You fell suddenly ill the day after your return from your unfortunate mission with the lieutenant."

"That's pretty much all I remember. But I don't recall anyone poisoning me." John suddenly realized what Carson was saying. "Someone here did it? One of our people?"

"It looks that way, but we don't know who." Carson looked like there was more to the story, but he was keeping silent to spare him the stress.

"Rodney is going to be all right, isn't he?" John asked, suddenly suspicious of what the doctor wasn't telling him.

"He is going to be fine, as is the rest of your team. You shouldn't worry." When people said that, John knew it was time to get concerned. "What else happened in the last four days?"

Carson sat down with an expression that told John that he didn't want to know what had happened.

"Do you want the bad news first or the good news?" Carson asked jokingly.

"The bad news." The Wraith weren't standing in the control room, it couldn't be so bad.

"Corporal Mars died a few hours ago."

"Poisoned?"

"He was shot. You shot him." Carson didn't look at John.

"I didn't…I can't remember anything. What happened? He must have threatened me; I would never shoot…" Images of Sumner bubbled into his conscious mind. He did shoot a fellow officer before.

"Calm down, Colonel. That's not so important right now."

"Not so important? I killed a man and you say that it is not so important? I try not to kill the good guys. Killing Sumner was damn hard. I know everyone thinks I hit it big with him dying the day we get here."

"Colonel, I didn't mean to imply-." Carson tried to soothe.

"Just leave." For the first time in years, John had to fight back tears.

oOo

Leon Mars had kept his quarters tidy, only the bed was unmade. For a room that had been occupied for three months, the place looked hardly lived in. Except for a laptop, there was nothing on the desk; a lone stack of magazines were sitting on the shelf.

Elizabeth wasn't even sure what she was looking for. Corporal Mars had been dead four hours and all Elizabeth was certain off was that he had been murdered. As for the motive, she could only speculate that it was connected to the rest of the wave of seemingly random acts of violence that had taken place during the past seventy-two hours. Mars didn't have the gene and he hadn't been privy to any special classified information—at least he shouldn't. But he had had one piece of information that Elizabeth herself had been curious about. Why did Sheppard shoot him? Maybe Sheppard had somehow realized that Mars was a threat to Atlantis. But it was all just speculation, unless she found something linking Leon Mars to the poisonings or the bombings.

Elizabeth opened the wardrobe. Uniforms, work-out clothes, some civilian clothes. At the bottom of the wardrobe, with no effort made to conceal them, were two bottles of pills, unlabelled. One was almost empty, the other about half-filled.

oOo

Carson arrived ten minutes after she had called him on the radio. His gaze immediately fell on the two bottles of pills she was holding.

"Did you find these here?" Carson seemed neither shocked nor surprised. Saddened, rather.

"In the wardrobe, yes. Did you prescribe them?" Elizabeth eyed Carson carefully. She would have known if Corporal Mars had had a serious health problem. Dr. Biro had mentioned nothing earlier.

Carson took and examined the bottles. "That's Lorcet, the other, I can't tell. I didn't prescribe them." There was something in Carson's eyes that looked almost like fear to Elizabeth. She had the feeling he knew more than she did.

"But they came from the infirmary?" Elizabeth was thinking of the poison that had mysteriously made its way into the Pegasus Galaxy.

"Certainly not. I keep track of all prescriptions that are filled."

If the drugs had come over the Daedalus, Elizabeth didn't want to think about the number of people who had to be involved at the SGC, aboard the Daedalus and possibly even in Atlantis.

"Maybe someone snuck them out." Elizabeth suppressed a sigh. Carson was making her spell it out.

"The supply cabinet is locked at all times and like everywhere in the city, there is visual surveillance."

"What about someone from your staff, could they-?" Elizabeth abandoned all pretences of tact.

"I don't believe you are asking this. I trust my staff. None of them would-" Carson rarely yelled, but he seemed genuinely angry at Elizabeth.

"I'm not accusing anyone, but Mars must have gotten those somewhere."

"He didn't get them from anyone in the infirmary. He would know if any were missing. I don't even know what those other pills are. They must have come from somewhere else." Carson sounded less angry than a few seconds ago. He was still firm about the innocence of his staff.

"Dr. Biro should be done with the blood analysis soon. We'll know for sure if Mars was taking any drugs, prescribed or not." Elizabeth changed the topic. "Do you trust your lab technicians?"

Carson hesitated a second. "I trust Dr. Faraday."

"Good. We need to get these tablets analysed as soon as possible," Elizabeth decided and headed towards the door. She pressed the control panel, but the door didn't move.

"The door won't open." Elizabeth, mildly alarmed, turned to Carson.

"I can't open it with the gene either." Carson joined her at the door and tried the control panel as well. The door refused to budge.

"According to Dr. Kavanaugh, the Naquadah generators should carry us through at current power levels for several months." Elizabeth was starting to get the feeling that something else had happened.

Elizabeth activated her radio. "Dr. Kavanaugh, this is Dr. Weir. Please respond."

"Yes, Dr. Weir?"

"What's our power status?

"The City is running on emergency power, no breakdowns reported. Is there a problem?"

"You could say so."

TBC


	12. Assault

Assault

Disjice Compositam Pacem, Sere Crimina Belli

oOo

There was silence at the other end after Elizabeth had explained their predicament to Dr. Kavanaugh.

"Are you still there, doctor?"

"Uhm, yes. I'll be right back. I'll confer with Dr. Zelenka. He's the engineer. But he should really have alerted me to such a serious system failure."

"It might just be a glitch." Elizabeth didn't think so, but she wasn't interested in hearing Kavanaugh berate his co-worker. It was public knowledge that there was no love lost between him and Radek.

"That's highly unlikely..." The chemist started, but broke off. "I will be right back."

Elizabeth sat down on the only chair on the room, suddenly feeling exactly how many hours she had gone without sleep. The night seemed to have made way to day without her noticing at all, but the pale grey sky above the always quiet ocean outside announced another day.

"Why would Mars be taking Lorcet?" Elizabeth had been thinking about that since she had found the bottles.

Carson shrugged. "I don't know. If he was a habitual user, someone would have known. Everyone who goes off-world has to undergo regular blood tests and the Ancient scanners pick up substances no test on Earth would reveal."

"That's reassuring at least in one way." Elizabeth agreed. "Still, I'm going to get to the bottom of this as soon as we get out of here. Lately, too many things have been going on that I didn't know about." Elizabeth glanced at Carson.

He glanced back at her. "So, what do you think?"

"Hell, I don't know what I'm supposed to think. We sure have our share of enemies here, the wraith, the Genii and just about every planet Sheppard ever visited. But it looks like we brought the bad guys along with us this time."

"We never needed aliens to help us kill each other." Carson remarked sadly and sat down on the edge of Mars' bed.

oOo

Radek Zelenka wanted to sleep, but somebody wouldn't let him. With annoying persistence, they kept trying to nudge him awake and no matter in what direction he turned, they wouldn't leave him alone.

"Wake up! Come on!" The voice sounded impatient, but also concerned, almost panicked. Rodney? The world was always ending in Rodney's mind. Radek opened his eyes and stared a blurry face.

"Rodney?"

"Oh, crap!" The face muttered now utterly panicked.

"Dr. Taylor?" Radek recognized the voice of the young Canadian. He never could tell all the English accents apart. "Where are we?" Radek glanced around, taking in the surrounding as well as possibly without his glasses. They were in a confined, dark space. Beyond the storm light a few feet next to Taylor, Radek couldn't make out anything in the darkness.

"Here. You'll need those." Taylor handed Radek his glasses.

"Where are we? What happened?" Radek now saw that they were inside a Jumper. The lack of engine vibrations told him that they were still on the ground. There was no one in the front section of the craft.

"Do you know how to open the roof of the Jumper Bay?"

"Theoretically, yes. Why?" Realization started to dawn, but not before Taylor drew a weapon. Radek stared at the ornamental, snake like weapon.

"You are not going to use this?" The truth was Radek had no idea what 'this' did and he didn't want to find out.

Taylor flinched as if the thought of actually firing his weapon hadn't occurred to him. "It won't kill you. Not on the first shot anyways."

"I assume this is how I got here." Radek was stalling for time but Taylor didn't bite.

"The roof of the bay, you have to get it up." Taylor demanded again.

"That's not going to happen and I'm not trying to be trouble. We have no power in bay." Radek half-expected Taylor to shoot him with the energy weapon, but Taylor was wrestling hard with himself.

"You have to do it, Dr. Zelenka. There is no other choice." Taylor's grip on the gun was wavering. Radek eyed him carefully, trying to stay out of direct shooting path.

"There is always another choice, Dr. Taylor." Radek didn't think that Taylor alone was behind this. If he could get him to talk, to trust him, Radek didn't think that Taylor had any intentions of harming him. But his plan backfired.

"You don't know anything! You get by agreeing to everything McKay says. You let him rant on and on and you just nod. Doesn't it bother you that he is the most self-absorbed person in this galaxy?"

Radek wasn't sure if he should take the bait. It could buy him time, but it could also provoke Taylor quicker than anything. The choice was made for him when the rear hatch of the Jumper started to open. Both Radek and Taylor turned towards the man who entered.

"What are you still doing here? I told you to wake him and get started immediately. Phase two is complete, I just watched it myself." The man, a lieutenant by the insignia on his uniform informed Taylor.

He grabbed Radek by the elbow and pushed him toward the front of the Jumper. "Get to work. You have fifteen minutes."

"I...I don't have the gene." Radek protested, stunned and scared.

"Didn't Taylor tell you? He stole McKay's little program." The man thrust a laptop at him. "In reality, McKay just copied what Ford did when he stole the Jumper - setting up a remote control."

"Even if this works, there is no way I can fly Jumper..." This was insane. They were going to crash, or bump into a planet, this was never going to work. Radek didn't believe how short-sighted his captors were.

"Don't worry about it, Doc. We will be out of here within the hour, I can assure you." The lieutenant slapped him hard on the shoulder.

Radek swallowed. He had no idea if what the men were asking was even possible.

oOo

"Is the panel lighting up on your side at all?" Dr. Kavanaugh's slightly nasal voice came over the radio. Elizabeth and Carson had been standing in front door, inside the quarters of the late Leon Mars for five minutes.

"It's still dead." Elizabeth replied, her patience wearing thin. Earth's best and brightest were out-smarted by ten-thousand-year-old door?

"Dr. Beckett?"

"I told you, it's not responding to me." Carson sounded unusually annoyed as well.

"That's...impossible."

Elizabeth sighed and sat back down. Slowly, the footsteps disappeared from the corridor.

A few minutes later, noise returned to the corridor and a new voice was on the radio.

"Dr. Weir. This is Dr. Kusanagi. We want you to check something. Can you take off the cover panel?"

"You mean, pry it off?"

"Uhm, yes."

"We can try." Elizabeth didn't think the Ancient had built their City for easy disassembly. It had lasted for ten thousand years in remarkable condition after all, but the opaque milk white panel came loose easily. Elizabeth stared at blinking lights.

"Elizabeth, take a step back, now!"

Carson pulled her backwards, nearly taking them both down in a tumble.

"Carson?" Elizabeth stared at the physician. "What is going on?"

"I recognized it from the fragments Dr. Zelenka and I examined. It's a bomb, hidden beneath the door panel."

Elizabeth was aghast. The thought that she had been leaning inches away from a live bomb almost made her sick. "Are you sure?"

"Sure enough not to risk touching that thing again," Carson said and nodded.

"Try not to think at it either." Elizabeth reactivated her radio. "Dr. Kusanagi, this is Dr. Weir. We removed the panel and found something that looks like an explosive device." Elizabeth forced herself to remain calm as she relayed the information to the scientists on the other side of the door.

"Dr. Weir? Can you please repeat?" The panic in Dr. Kusanagi's voice told Elizabeth that she had understood her fine the first time.

"It looks like the device Dr. Zelenka described." Carson joined the conversation. „We can't see all of it, some of it is hidden underneath the wall panels, but it appears to be basically shaped like a spider. The arms are literally growing out of the wall. It definitely part organic in nature." Elizabeth admired the ease with which Carson described the spider-bomb to Dr. Kusanagi. He didn't seem to feel the least bit frightened.

"It looks like it is actually alive. It's moving."

"It is moving? Can you explain that?"

"It looks like it is breathing, which makes no sense since the fragments Radek and I examined were Naquadah..." Carson trailed off and stared at the creature in shock.

"Elizabeth, I think we have a bigger problem than I realized. We should get the window open."

Elizabeth startled. "I though we were in as much trouble as we could be. What is going on?" She followed Carson to the far end of the room.

"Radek and I were examining the bomb fragments in the medical lab, the fragment of a bomb that looked exactly like this one. Those fragments were made of Naquadah and an organic substance. It wasn't in our or the Ancient database, but as soon as it came into contact with the scanner, it almost blew up at us."

Elizabeth immediately reached for her radio. "Dr. Kusanagi. Stop whatever you are doing right now. Our scanners could set this whole thing off at any moment."

"Understood, Dr. Weir. What do you want us to do?"

"Evacuate this wing; have them use the stairs, not the transporters. I want all electronics on this level switched off now, including anything you are using, Dr. Kusanagi," Elizabeth ordered. She tried to remember how many rooms were occupied in this part of the City. Too many. There was no vital technology on the entire level, this bomb had been set to target people?

"What about our radios, Dr. Weir?" Dr. Kusanagi's voice came over the radio again.

"So far, nothing has happened, and we'll need to stay in contact, so I think we can risk it." Elizabeth decided. "I need you get me Dr. Zelenka down here. Tell him to bring everything he has on the bomb fragments. Tell him to leave his laptop at the lab."

"I will. Kusanagi out." The radio fell silent. Elizabeth looked around. The moderately sized room suddenly seemed very small. Elizabeth sat down on the bed and massaged her temples. She could fell a massive headache lurking beneath the surface.

oOo

John couldn't rest. While his body craved sleep, his mind kept him awake with reminders of what he had done. He had killed a man. John had hardly known Leon Mars. It wasn't his face he kept seeing. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Colonel Sumner's face, frozen in time the second before he had shot him. For months he had not been haunted by those dreams. He would never forget what he had done, but with time, the dreams had faded.

John sat up in bed. He felt slightly dizzy, but he couldn't stay in bed. There was no chance he could sleep; he needed to get the persistent images out of his mind. One look around the bare isolation room confirmed that his clothes were no where to be seen.

John decided he didn't care. Even though he didn't have a problem with small spaces normally, he needed to get out of the tiny room where he was captive along with his thoughts. He eased his legs over the side of the bed and carefully got up. His legs were fairly steady and he made it to the door without falling on his face. It took him a second thought to open to door; he was definitely not at the top of his game.

John stumbled out into the corridor and nearly fell when he stepped into darkness. He caught hold off the wall and slowly his eyes adjusted. There was faint light coming from the direction of the infirmary.

"Are you all right, Sir?" Suddenly a figure stepped out of the shadows. She had to have been standing there, in the dark without him noticing her before.

"Lieutenant Cadman?"

Cadman turned on a portable storm light. "Sir. Should I get Dr. Beckett?" She sounded genuinely worried. John had to look worse than he realized. He unconsciously tried to ruffle his hair into its usual bed-head style.

"What's our status?" John asked. He didn't think that Cadman was carrying around a storm light for the fun of it and the only reason he could think of involved Atlantis without a ZPM.

"Everything is under control, sir." Cadman flinched.

John suddenly had to urge to laugh. It had to be Beckett's drugs. "Frankly, I'm surprised you still call me 'sir'."

"I have not idea what you are talking about." Cadman smiled grimly, the expression on her face distorted by the shadows of the storm light.

"How is Rodney doing?" John changed the subject.

"I don't know anything official, but I heard it's looking up for him. I'm not telling if you sneak in for a moment." Cadman nodded towards the isolation room across the corridor.

"I appreciate it. I won't be long." The truth was John didn't feel too well on his feet.

Someone had been visiting Rodney earlier. There was already a chair beside his bed, a book upturned on the seat. John carefully put the book to the ground and sat down. Rodney was sickly pale, sweat matting his hair. His left hand was loosely tethered to the bedrail, preventing him from accidentally ripping out his IV line as he moved restlessly. John hadn't put together any words in his head and when he saw Rodney, he was stunned and at a loss for words. Rodney looked very ill. Elizabeth had told him that the scientist was improving; John didn't want to know how bad he had looked before,

John was surprised when Rodney seemed to settle and his eyes fluttered open to half-mast.

"Rodney? Come on, open your eyes."

Rodney blinked slowly at John. His gaze was glassy and John wasn't sure Rodney realized he was even there.

"Rodney." John squeezed Rodney's right hand. "It's me, John."

The motion was weak, but Rodney jerked his hand away from John's. Rodney's lips were moving but there was no sound coming out. The expression on his face was one of terror as he shifted as far away from John as possible.

oOo

John was anxiously eying the door to Rodney's isolation room. Dr. Millhouse had politely, but firmly, shoved him outside when he had called for her, near panic at Rodney's terrified response to his presence.

He was relief to see Dr. Millhouse come out of the room was calm face.

"Is he going to be all right?" John got up to meet her.

"We will need to run further tests." Dr. Millhouse replied. "You should go and lie back down. Dr. Weir didn't authorise any visitors for you or Dr. McKay yet. Anyways, it's probably best if you stay here for the moment." Dr. Millhouse didn't say anything but John could tell she was scared. Something very bad had happened, worse than what Elizabeth had told him.

"I don't think I can rest now." John admitted.

"Then you might as well join me in the infirmary. I need to take some blood and see about another dose of biperiden." Dr. Millhouse decided.

"Well, if you could find me some clothes while we are there, I won't mind." John agreed and followed Dr. Millhouse towards the infirmary. He was getting cold in the thin burgundy scrubs. The metal floor of the city was leaking ice into his bare feet.

John almost had to close his eyes at the bright lights in the infirmary. There the lighting was at normal levels. Whatever power problems they were having must not have affected this part of the medical wing. Most of the beds were occupied, but the curtains were drawn around them and Dr. Millhouse quickly led John forwards to the treatment area. She was speaking rapidly with curt gestures. John was sitting on an exam table, hands folded in front of his chest.

"I'll drop off your blood sample at the lab and see about getting you something to wear. There should still be a pair of sweatpants around." Dr. Millhouse gave him a thin smile. She seemed to feel sorry for him. Not what John had expected after he had killed a man. First Cadman and now Dr. Millhouse, they were treating him like he might shatter into pieces any minute. While John felt cold and rather dizzy, he had fought hand to hand with a Wraith feeling worse. But sitting here, not knowing what was going on, expect for the piecemeal of information he was being given, he felt much less confident.

Dr. Millhouse was taking her time dropping off his blood at the lab. John shifted nervously, he was tired, from the drugs no doubt. The few minutes he had been on his feet had drawn his strength. He longed for a warm blanket and a cup of coffee. Beckett was always sipping from a mug, so he probably kept a machine around, but John wasn't even sure of Beckett was drinking tea or coffee from his ever present mug.

John slipped to his feet. He was going to see about that coffee machine before his fingers froze off. He rubbed his hands together and made his way towards Carson's office. He nearly turned back the locked door, but then he saw the light blue glow of the laptop screen through the glass. John stopped and stared inside. The laptop was facing away from the door, so he couldn't see what was on screen, but it was very unusual that Beckett would have left the screen on after his shift, especially if he had locked the infirmary behind him. Then he spotted something else, under the desk, sticking to the desk plate from underneath. It looked like a gigantic spider, but it had a metallic shine and blinked menacingly.

John unlocked the door with a thought. For a second, he considered calling for back-up, but without knowing why he had killed Mars and why Atlantis had lost power, John had to assume the worst - the City had been attacked.

John didn't bother to sit down. The laptop was running only a single application. John had never seen it before, but it was clear what its purpose was. Files were being transferred somewhere. 98 complete, John clicked to cancel. The blinking light under the desk changed from green to red. Oh shit. John reflexively reached under, trying to remove the metal spider before anyone came running.

His fingers made contact with the metal and John screamed and pulled his hand back. His fingers were reddened, burnt, where he had touched the device, but the pain receded quickly. John winced; he was turning into Rodney, touching Ancient toys without thinking. John was examining his fingers which were now rapidly blistering when he heard noise outside. Footfalls, but oddly slow and uneven.

John cast a quick, futile look around. There was nowhere to hide and nothing he could use as a weapon against a potential assailant. He was trapped in Beckett's office. Any way out would lead him past whoever was coming towards him. A heavy thump outside interrupted his frantic considerations. John carefully snuck outside.

A figure was slumped on the floor, blond hair spilling over the back of a grey uniform jacket. John stepped over her, remembering Beckett's first aid lessons. Laura Cadman was on her left side, eyes closed. It looked like she had struggled, her hair had come undone, but what made John pause was thin metal dart sticking in her throat.

"Cadman. Lieutenant!" John forgot about keeping his voice down.

Laura opened her eyes and found John. She tried a raise a hand, but John held both of her arms down. She struggled against him, until John noticed what she was trying to show him. In her right him, Laura was gripping a silvery cylinder about two inches long. John gently took it from her and pocketed it. He could examine it later.

"Don't move. Stay still." John was not going to tell her that everything was going to be all right. After Dr. Gaul, he had stopped making that particular promise.

Cadman's lips were moving, but no sound was coming out.

"Don't. Don't try to talk." John released her hands.

At least John couldn't see any blood. That had to bee a good sign. He knew better than to try and pull out the dart. Beckett had taught them to leave foreign object where they were until a medical professional could take care of them. John instinctively reached for his radio, only to recall that he was still dressed in scrubs. He searched for Laura's radio, but the small device in her pocket was shattered. Dr. Millhouse was still nowhere to be seen and John had a very bad feeling that whoever had gotten to Cadman had gotten to the doctor as well.

Cadman was missing both her weapons, John hadn't noticed before searching for her radio. There was an assailant out there, armed with an automatic weapon. He needed to find Dr. Millhouse before it was too late, but he couldn't leave Cadman behind. He had made a career of leaving no man behind and it had cost him dearly - Afghanistan, Athos.

"Lieutenant." John touched Laura's hand for a second. "I'll just get a blanket. Then I'm going get a doctor. I'll just be a moment." John struggled not to let his own insecurity creep into his voice. Laura just blinked weakly. She was drifting away. Maybe the dart had been poisoned, but John couldn't afford to think about that.

John pushed himself to his feet and raced to the nearest cupboard. John rummaged through supplies, cupboard after cupboard. It seemed to take an eternity until he found a pile of neatly folded blankets. He took the top one and rushed back to where he had left Laura. He called her name, but she didn't react. With relief, he still felt a pulse and spread the blanket over her.

John took one last look back then he ran towards the direction of the isolation rooms and the medical labs. he passed through the small ward, but he didn't have time to check on anyone, he didn't have any skill to help anyways. Rodney. He was out there as well. But he needed to find Dr. Millhouse first.

The storm light was tipped over on the ground, broken, the glass shards scattered across the hallway. John only noticed after the first piece of glass cut into the sole of his left foot. John curse, but he couldn't afford to stop. It was nearly dark in the corridor, the dim light coming from the infirmary was too far away and the medical labs were lying in darkness.

John trailed one hand along the wall, finding his way to the lab. His thoughts brought on the lights, overly bright so that he had to close his eyes. He immediately saw Dr. Millhouse on the floor, in a mirror image of Lieutenant Cadman. A thin silver dart was protruding from her chest; it seemed to have gone through her lab coat and uniform easily. She was already unconscious, but her pulse was strong. John breathed a sigh of relief and looked around. The lab was empty, no sign of the technician on the night shift. If the assailant or assailants had though here, on the search for data, drugs or something else, why hadn't they overwhelmed the technician right here in the lab? Had they taken a hostage? But where had they gone. They had passed Cadman in the hallway between the infirmary and the lab, but the only thing in between was the isolation rooms. Rodney?! Damn. John picked up Dr. Millhouse's radio and hurried back to the corridor.

"Zelenka, its Sheppard." John activated the radio. Zelenka's skills wouldn't help Cadman or Dr. Millhouse, but if anyone knew what was going on, Zelenka did. He knew everything about everybody and Radek didn't believe in lies.

After a few seconds Zelenka replied. "Yes, John?" Zelenka sounded nervous. Since when was he on first name basis with Dr. Z?

"I'm having a problem with the heating system in my quarters, I was wondering whether you could come and have a look at it." John decided to not give away his actual location. He needed to talk to Zelenka face to face. Something was wrong.

"Yes. Uhm, yes. I come meet you there. I have to go." The connection was closed from Zelenka's end. John stared at the radio. He wasn't sure who would show up at his quarters, but he had the suspicion that it wouldn't be Zelenka. John couldn't risk trusting anyone right now.

The infirmary seemed safe for now. The attackers seemed assured that all threats had been eliminated already. Cadman and Dr. Millhouse. That left him and he still needed to check on Rodney.

The door to the isolation room opened at his thought. John stepped inside. Rodney was still in bed, but his face was turned towards John, his eyes fixated on him.

John saw the fear on Rodney's face and raised his arms in defence. "Are you all right?" He took a slow step forward.

Rodney nodded. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking on you. I wanted to see if you are all right." John repeated but Rodney only frowned.

"Leave."

"I can't. I need your help," John pleaded. He needed Rodney to tell him what the metal spider's purpose was and his help to disable it. If there were two of them, they could better help Cadman and Dr. Millhouse.

"I want to be alone." Rodney turned away from John.

"I need your help. It looks like we have invaders in the City. They are attacking people, apparently looking for something. One of them broke into Beckett's office, to steal data, I think."

"Call the jarheads, but leave me alone," Rodney snapped.

"They left a device behind, in Beckett's office. I tried to remove it, but it bit me instead." John held up his reddened fingers. The wounds looked almost like burns and hurt as much, but John tried to ignore them.

"You just touched it?" Rodney was incredulous and finally he sounded like his usual self. John had to suppress a smile.

"Yeah, heat of the moment and all. I need you to take a look at it. I think it might be a homing beacon."

"Or a bomb." Rodney sat up and started removing the EKG leads from his chest with shaking hands. "Is that your blood?"

John followed Rodney's gaze to the blood smears on the floor.

"Forgot to tell you, there are glass shards all over the corridor and we don't have any shoes."

oOo

Elizabeth stared at the white tile ceiling. Twenty minutes ago, Dr. Kusanagi had left to find Radek and since then no word. Trapped with a bomb at the door and no way to go at the other side, time was stretching painfully.

"Do you reckon Dr. Biro has finished the autopsy of Mars yet?"

"She should have. I'd be interested in his tox results. I don't have the illusion that there are no drugs on Atlantis, but Mars..." Carson sighed.

"You didn't think he was the type to do drugs?" Elizabeth asked curiously. She hadn't thought they had a drug problem at all.

"No, not really. I don't know who the type is. That would make my job a lot easier."

"Carson, is anyone on Atlantis caught up with drugs?" Elizabeth suddenly realised what Carson had been hinting at all along.

"You know I can't tell you." Carson avoided looking at Elisabeth.

"So there is something to tell?! Drug smuggling is not a medical matter; it is a matter of base security. I need to be informed. I can't believe you held out on me!" Elizabeth wrought her hands in exasperation.

"I was not aware of anyone being able to smuggle drugs into the City. I swear I would have told you immediately. But what my patients tell me in confidence; I can't just tell you without their approval." Carson argued his case.

"I don't care about their approval. I want too know if anyone is a potential danger to the security of this base." Elizabeth said sharply. She couldn't believe Carson was that stubborn? In the Pegasus Galaxy different rules applied and usually Carson understood the need for compromise.

"Elizabeth, I don't think you understand. These patients are struggling hard..." Carson sounded desperate

""I want to know you everything." Elizabeth needed to know. Carson was a perceptive physician, but he had not relayed his insights to her. Elizabeth wondered when he had lost faith in her.

"I really resent this. Dr. Kusanagi, Dr. Tiding and Dr. Taylor. I don't know about anyone else, but not anyone confides in me."

"And you?" Elizabeth asked quietly.

Carson nodded.

oOo

It had taken Radek thirty seconds to find the bay door controls and three minutes to find out how to reroute the power from the Naquadah generators. He hadn't figured out yet how to get out of the Jumper alive. He had no doubt that he would be killed as soon as they had left Atlantis.

The radio call had riled his captor. Radek was sure that his squeaking voice must have given him away. He hadn't dared saying anything other than directed by the lieutenant holding the energy weapon.

"Give me the radio." The lieutenant took the radio from Radek and made sure it had been switched off. Radek hadn't taken the chance; he was not that sort of brave.

"How long until you have the bay roof open?" The man demanded to know.

"I should go to meet the colonel; he will be suspicious if I don't show up." Radek insisted, hoping they would let him leave if he just completed the work they wanted.

"I'll take care of Sheppard. Taylor, stay here and keep an eye on him. Contact me if she shows up." The lieutenant handed Taylor the energy gun and slipped out of the Jumper. Taylor clutched the gun tightly. Radek was wondering what he was more afraid of, getting caught or being stuck alone with Radek in the Jumper.

"Who are you waiting for?" Radek asked, trying to sound casually.

"You'll see soon enough." Taylor got up to pace the narrow space. "You need to get the roof open."

"I understand. I'm working on it." Radek frantically searched for possibilities - any way to raise an alarm or send a message to warn to others. There wasn't enough time to program a virus to spread a message to every single computer in the City. Jam the Bay roof? Radek wasn't sure what that would accomplish, except getting him killed very fast. His only chance was to overwhelm Taylor while he was still alone with him. He had control over the Jumper, but no experience with manipulating the craft. He had only one shot at this.

"I think I got it. I managed to access the bay door roof controls." Radek turned to Taylor.

"Let me see." Taylor walked up the Radek in the front of the Jumper.

Radek lunged at Taylor the moment the Jumper took off, but he didn't bring the heavier, taller man to fall. Radek simply clung to him. A punch to the side of his head dislodged him. The last thing Radek saw was a flash of blue energy racing towards him for the second time the day.

TBC


	13. Flight

Chapter 13

Flight

Vis Maior

oOo

Coming to was an extremely unpleasant experience. It beat being dead, of course, but that was the best Radek could think of in that moment. He was on his back, aware of the hard metal floor of the Jumper on him, but he couldn't move a muscle. His senses seemed to work all right. He couldn't see, as he couldn't will his eyes to open, but he could hear voices telling him that his situation hadn't improved by his attempt at stupid bravery.

"I think we got everything. Someone interrupted the transfer in Beckett's office. I ran into Cadman; maybe it was her," a feminine voice said. Radek thought she sounded British and vaguely familiar, maybe someone from the lab. Just how far did the conspiracy go?

"Are you sure she didn't alert anyone?" a male voice said. Radek recognized him as the nameless lieutenant who had taken him prisoner.

"Positive, but I'm done now."

"You're backing out now? You promised..."

"I did what I promised. You have the disc. I don't want to die."

"You are as much in this as we are. It's too late now; we have to step up the plan. I think Sheppard is on to us."

"Impossible. He is under watch in the infirmary. Dr. Weir's orders. She thinks he killed Mars." The woman laughed silently.

"You underestimate Sheppard. He must have gotten out somewhere, but he's all alone. No one is going to trust him now. Weir and Beckett are otherwise occupied at the moment, but Taylor is keeping tabs."

"I don't even want to know," the woman replied.

"You are in way to deep, Sandra."

There was a slap and then an angry reply. "Don't ever do that again." Footfalls approached.

"How far are you?" Sandra was speaking again. Radek tried to open his eyes. This time he managed. The ceiling of the Jumper came into view. Whatever numbing effect the energy gun had had must be wearing off because Radek's head was starting to hurt from the punch to the head he had taken.

None of his captors were paying any attention to him. Radek saw Taylor and the lieutenant hunched over the control console, along with Dr. Faraday, the chief lab technician. Sandra? Radek hadn't made the connection before. Now it was obvious. He could only guess what kind of files she had stolen from Beckett's office. The gene therapy, the retro-virus research, the Hoffan vaccine.

"He must have figured it out. How else would he have managed to turn on the engine?" the lieutenant asked impatiently. "Wake him up already."

Radek quickly closed his eyes. A second later, a slap landed on his face, followed by another when he didn't react immediately.

"Stop! Stop!" Radek protested and struggled to sit up. His head ached like someone had taken an ice-pick to his skull, but he tried to ignore the dizziness as the lieutenant pulled him to his feet.

The lieutenant pushed him towards the front console. "Don't think we won't notice if you try to screw us again."

Radek nodded. He was frantically going through the available options in his mind, but kept coming up short. He couldn't let the traitors escape Atlantis with a Jumper, not when they had information that could be devastating in the hands of their enemies. They had to be stopped. Radek had hoped that Sheppard, who seemed to be back on his feet, would figure it out. But now that he had been framed for murder what good would that do?

oOo

"Any idea what this could be?" Rodney had been staring blankly at the device attached to the underside of Beckett's desk for ten minutes.

"No." Rodney didn't look at John.

John watched Rodney with concern. The scientist had barely said a word, yet John could see that the scientist was struggling to stay on his feet. Normally Rodney would have moaned and complained, exaggerated his symptoms, but this time, he was oddly silent, responding to John's question with as few words as possible.

John remembered the device Cadman had tried to give him. He pulled out the silver cylinder. It had ten smooth buttons, bearing no descriptions and reminded John of a remote control of some sort. He tapped Rodney on the shoulder.

"Listen. Cadman gave me this. I have no idea what it is, but maybe it belongs to whoever left this little present."

Rodney gave him a questioning look, and then nodded and took the 'remote'.

"Just don't press any buttons," John cautioned, but Rodney had already turned back around. John just hoped that Rodney was going to be all right. Dr. Millhouse had assured him that he was going to be all right, but she had also mentioned further tests and John would feel a lot better if she had gotten around to running those tests before all hell had broken loose. He couldn't mess this one up, not after what he had done.

He was startled when Rodney suddenly got up. He had to brace himself against the wall, but he slowly started to walk towards the main infirmary.

"Rodney, where are you going?"

"Getting a scanner."

"Stay here. I'll try to find one in the med lab. Just stay here in the office." The blank look on Rodney's face made John question whether he was even getting through to the scientist.

Rodney ignored and scuttled ahead. John followed and stopped when he saw Rodney standing against the wall, staring at the still form of Laura Cadman.

"Did you kill her?" Rodney turned to John. For the first time John had known him, Rodney looked at him with fear on his face.

"No, Rodney, no. What gave you that idea?" John was shocked, that Rodney could ever think for a moment that he could have killed Cadman. Rodney had never told him how he felt about what had happened to Sumner. If it bothered him that John had blood on his hands, he had never said.

John kneeled down to check on Cadman. "She's alive. But we better hurry."

Rodney just stared at him.

John grabbed him by the shoulder, harder than he had meant. "Rodney, I need you to trust me. I understand why you might think that, but I didn't hurt Cadman or Dr. Millhouse. I need your help with figuring out what this is and whether it is going to blow up in the next five minutes."

"I can work with that," Rodney replied calmly. "It looks like Naquadah, but the design certainly isn't Ancient. Show me your hand again." He grabbed the wrist of John injured hand and turned it palm up. John could feel Rodney shaking.

Rodney dropped John's hand. "That's good."

"Hurt's like hell. Since when is this good?"

"It's not a radiation burn. If it were, we would be in very big trouble right now. You were probably poisoned, though," Rodney explained calmly and bent over Beckett's laptop.

"Poisoned? With what? What are you doing?" John's hand had been hurting, but he had had other things on his mind--like a bomb blowing up the entire city.

"I'm saving our collective asses." Rodney typed frantically. John leaned in, trying to glance at what he was doing. He recognized the elegant characters of the Ancients language filling the screen.

"It's obviously not radioactive, so it's not Genii. It doesn't like you, so it's not Ancient; that leaves us with Wraith. But I have seen this before," Rodney muttered and shook his head. "God, you are talking to yourself, Rodney."

"You could talk to me. Remember, I'm the one who was poisoned." John wasn't an alarmist, but all this talk about radiation and poison had him slightly concerned. He thought of Cadman and Dr. Millhouse. Both had been taken down by a tiny dart, probably poisoned. John didn't plan on joining them. He sat down on the floor, resting his injured foot. Rodney was right; the metal spider was familiar. It had been on the planet initially discovered by Lorne's team. John and his team had spent two weeks there during the local rainy season, baby-sitting the scientist. Someone was always dragging John into the cave to touch a potentially Ancient device. It had turned out that the cave-dwelling settlers had not used Ancient technology, but John could remember clearly that he had seen a fairly similar device, consisting of a flat octahedral body and eight thin, organic-looking legs.

"P3X-987. Supposedly settled by early Wraith worshippers." Rodney interrupted John's thoughts.

"What?" John was puzzled.

"That's where I have seen it before. The wall drawings, no actual artifacts, they would have gone straight to my lab, unless Tiding squirreled them away again because of their 'cultural importance'."

"Tiding? He's on Lorne's team. Mid-fifties? Long grey hair?" John asked. "He had me try and activate some things, including one of those little metal creepies."

Suddenly Rodney's face lit up. "What do you see?" He thrust the remote at John.

John thought for a moment, and then he understood. "Standard keypad. Three by three, nine keys, plus one. Nine digits plus zero. Earth engineered no doubt."

Rodney nodded in approval. "Exactly."

"Assuming this really goes with our little eight-legged friend, I assume we have to…"

Sheppard was interrupted when the device started ticking softly.

oOo

Radek was making mistakes. Stupid mistakes. The gun pointing at the back of his head was screwing with his nerves – his hands were jittery, he couldn't concentrate or remember the simplest things about Jumper technology. Everything seemed to take endless seconds. He was sure that they would lose patience with him any moment. The effects of the stunner shot had worn off-quickly enough, but he clearly recalled the warning that the next time, he would not merely be stunned.

For the first time, Radek was starting to have an idea what Rodney went through on some of the missions with his team. He couldn't figure out how he did it. Rodney was all doom-and-gloom when nothing happened. How could he deal with an alien who wanted to kill him?

Radek wanted to stop the traitors. He knew he had to, because if they got away with the Jumper and their stolen information, then not just Atlantis was at risk. The Wraith wanted Atlantis so badly because it was the portal to Earth and a whole new galaxy to feast on. He couldn't fight his way out, even against Taylor, who by no means was particularly big or muscular. Radek had earned himself a punch to the temple that still had his head ringing. He could refuse to help them. They would probably not kill him straight away. McKay probably would figure out how to rig the Jumper's engine to explode and Sheppard would actually go through with a plan like that. Radek had thought of doing that, but the Ancients hadn't believed in a self-destruct mechanism. Instead, everything had a fail-safe. Radek wouldn't be able to guarantee the engines would overload in time. Right now, he even wished for Rodney to be around even with all his sharp comments and derogatory remarks.

Everything that had happened had obviously been some sort of master plan to incapacitate the Atlantis' leadership. Rodney was barely hanging on to life after an assassination attempt, Sheppard had been discredited as a murderer, Weir and Beckett has at least been temporarily taken out of action, Lorne was in the infirmary, Mars was dead, and Cadman had been 'taken care of' as well. Who was left?

The City had not faired much better – no ZPM and damages to the control room and labs. They would need the help of the Daedalus to repair all the damage, not to mention her firepower in case the Wraith attacked while they were defenceless.

"How much longer?" The lieutenant leaned to see what Radek was doing, but kept the energy gun trained on Radek.

"I'm ready." Radek nodded nervously. With the last tap of the key, he switched off the engine cooling system. There was no going back now.

"That's good for you. Here is what is going to happen. You are going to open the roof and take us up, nice and slow. No tricks. If Atlantis contacts us, you leave that to me. You do exactly what I tell you to do. Understood?"

"Yes," Radek nodded fervently. He had never been this scared in his life. With trembling hands he opened the roof and slowly manoeuvred the craft towards the opening. They seemed to move at a snail's pace, as Radek didn't dare to go faster. The entire time, he waited for one of them to shoot him from behind, but none of the three said a word as they flew towards the open sky above Atlantis.

Radek could breathe a bit easier as they had cleared the City. He wondered why no one in the City had noticed their departure, but recalled that the ZPM was off-line at the moment, leaving the City blind.

oOo

Rodney was sure he was losing his mind. Something was wrong with him. The drilling headache was the least of his problems. He could remember the disaster with Ford and his junkie gang, the awful withdrawal he would rather not remember, but after that everything dissolved into shattered fragments that didn't make sense. He kept seeing Sheppard, lunging at him, grabbing his head with both hands. The expression he kept seeing on Sheppard's face had been pure hatred. It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense now. Sheppard had dragged him out of bed into a horror movie version of Atlantis. Rodney had never liked horror movies, especially not the ones starring him.

"Assuming this really goes with our little eight-legged friend, I assume we have to…"

Sheppard had suddenly broken off. Rodney could hear a mechanical ticking sound in the silence of Carson's office.

"I guess that solves the mystery. It is a bomb," Sheppard remarked with a grin that seemed misplaced to Rodney, but he sobered up immediately. "We need to get out of here and we need to get Cadman away from the door. Who knows what kinds of blast radius this thing has."

Rodney didn't reply but followed Sheppard out into the infirmary. Blood was smeared on the floor where Sheppard had bled from the cut to his foot. Cadman was lying a few feet away from the door of Carson's office. She was mostly covered by an emergency blanket, but now that Rodney saw the bruises on the side of her face, he wondered if she had not struggled with someone. Cadman wouldn't go down without a fight.

In joint effort that left Rodney trembling and panting, he and Sheppard moved Cadman to an empty bed in the small ward of the infirmary. He had gotten another look at Sheppard's hand, where he had said he touched the device. What had looked like a chemical burn earlier had now turned purple. He had seen how he had avoided putting any strain on the injured hand. Sheppard hadn't said anything, but even Rodney could tell that the wound had to cause significant pain.

_Sheppard wouldn't have touched the bomb if he had known it was poisonous_. Rodney had to repeat that over and over in his mind. _No he wouldn't have_. He would have left him to touch it. Rodney couldn't stop his mind from tormenting him with the memory of Sheppard attacking him. Even in his memory, the pain of whatever Sheppard had done to him was terrible.

"Rodney, you need to have a look at this." John brought him out of his musings as he called from Carson's office.

"What?! Are you crazy? We have to get out of here! This thing is going to blow up any second and we'll be fish-food." Rodney protested, ready to bolt.

"Not for another four minutes and twenty-three seconds, it isn't." Rodney found Sheppard standing behind Carson's desk. His face was devoid of any emotion; even his eyes seemed cold. Rodney had never seen this John Sheppard. He had known that somewhere within him, Sheppard had a dark side, but this was the first time he showed it in front of Rodney. Rodney was afraid.

On the desk was the cylindrical device, which Rodney had assumed was a remote, but he had been wrong. Projected from it was translucent structure, a holographic-projection. Not as life-like and sophisticated as the Ancient hologram they had found in the City. This was cruder; it didn't manage to create the illusion of a solid mass. Then, Rodney saw what had disturbed John. The projection spawned a green-blue pyramid. One face showed the countdown, another displayed a schematic of the spider bomb; the third face of the pyramid was covered in alien writing. Wraith writing.

"Can you read it?" Sheppard's voice was completely flat. With his good hand, he was clutching the edge of Carson's desk. He was trying hard, but Rodney could tell that Sheppard was running on willpower alone.

"Yes. It's a manual for the bomb." Rodney frantically scanned through the text. "The bomb can be armed and disarmed from a remote location, which is very bad for us, but really doesn't matter anymore, since it is already armed. To disarm the bomb, you need the right code, which we don't have, and the remote, which we have. And you were right; the bomb contains a poison, only deadly to the Ancients, which is potentially bad as well, given our genetic ancestry." Rodney rattled off. The countdown was at one minute and fifty-eight seconds.

oOo

Elizabeth's headache was starting to launch into a full blown migraine by the time Dr. Kusanagi finally returned.

"I'm sorry this has taken so long, Dr. Weir," the young woman apologised. "But I was unable to find Dr. Zelenka. However, I think we might have discovered more about where this device came from. We started to search the Ancient database right away with the description you gave us, but so far we haven't come up with anything. When I spoke to Teyla about what happened, she thought she recognised these devices."

"Dr. Weir, this is Teyla." A second voice joined Dr. Kusanagi on the radio.

"Teyla, good. What can you tell us?"

"It's a Wraith device. Its purpose is to gather information by attaching itself to the enemy's systems and once it has gathered all the information the Wraith want, it is used to destroy its target. I have heard of it being infused with a poison lethal to the Ancients. I had not known that they really existed until I saw the cave drawings on P3X-987. I had only heard stories about them."

"Do you know how to remove them?" Carson joined the conversation.

"I have not heard of this being possible."

"Teyla, you said you saw drawings on P3X-987? Did you actually see any of these spiders?" Carson asked. Elizabeth had been thinking the same thing. It would have been too much of a coincidence.

"Not as such. I did see Lieutenant Shaw and Dr. Tiding pack a crate. I could not see what was in it, but it seemed they didn't want to be seen. I didn't think anything of it then," Teyla replied.

Elizabeth suddenly saw it all. The pieces were coming together, revealing a picture Elizabeth hadn't imagined in her nightmares. She should have realised much earlier who was behind the series of attacks. Now it all made sense.

"Carson, remember how you said that John had to have been poisoned shortly before we got back to Atlantis?" Elizabeth recalled the horrifying moment in the Jumper bay when she had watched helplessly how John had nearly died.

"Yes, I did."

"I should have drawn the right conclusion then and there. The assassin was aboard the shuttle. But with everything that was going on, I never got to think it through."

"That was probably deliberate. Divert our attention," Carson agreed grimly.

"The assassin had only been after people who were on the mission to P3X-987 and only those with the gene--Lorne's team and John and his team. Lorne was shot, Mars was strangled, and John and Rodney were poisoned."

"What about Dr. Tiding and Lieutenant Shaw?"

"I can't prove it, but I think they are involved. Teyla saw them taking something on P3X-987. Dr. Tiding speculated it was a planet settled by cave-dwelling Wraith worshippers. He asked me to approve an anthropological mission to examine the cave drawings for any intelligence about the Wraith."

"You think he and Lieutenant Shaw stole technology instead."

"It looks like it. Shaw was the only one, aside from me and Simmons who could have poisoned Sheppard. The explosions were conveniently made to look the Sheppard was the blame."

"Are you so sure he isn't involved?" Carson questioned. "He hasn't been himself the last few days. He did shoot at Mars and Lorne as far as we know."

"I don't know," Elizabeth confessed, massaging her temples. "Maybe something else happened on that planet. We need to get out of here."

"Dr. Kusanagi, any progress?" Elizabeth asked.

"None thus far, but we are still searching the database," the scientist replied.

"In the meantime, get whoever from security is still on their feet. I need to know where Lieutenant Shaw and Dr. Tiding are. But do not contact them on their radios," Elizabeth ordered. Her headache was starting to make her nauseous.

There was a pause at the other end, and then Dr. Kusanagi replied. "Of course. We are also still looking for Dr. Zelenka, but I'm not sure we have that many people available to search. Many were injured in the explosions."

"Concentrate on Dr. Tiding and Lieutenant Shaw for the moment." Elizabeth hated making that call. Radek could be in serious trouble if she was right. If his investigation of the bombing had led him to the party responsible, they might have harmed him. The image of Corporal Mars, strangled, a length of tubing wrapped around his neck appeared before her eyes, engraved forever in her memory.

Elizabeth had just finished speaking to Dr. Kusanagi when she heard a fine ticking sound. She looked at Carson and he nodded. A rush of cold fear washed through Elizabeth. They were going to die.

oOo

It didn't happen. Radek had been stealing away glances at the status panel, watching for the engine temperature to go critical. He had watched the numbers creep up for thirty minutes as the Jumper headed towards the co-ordinates the lieutenant had given him.

Radek knew that it would take them almost six hours to get the binary system in Atlantis' neighbourhood. The Jumpers weren't fast crafts. The engine was going to overload long before they reached their destination and whomever they would meet there. Radek knew it was for the best, yet he was terrified. He wondered if this was how Sheppard had felt when he had flown a Jumper packing on atomic bomb straight into a Wraith ship or how Rodney had felt when he had given himself an overdose of Wraith enzyme. Radek knew he was going to die and he found himself everything but facing his end calmly and peacefully. He thought of all the little things - the bottle of Athosian moonshine Halling had promised him for the next week, the surprise party he and had been planning for Rodney's birthday at the end of the month and the letter he had been planning to send to his sister with the next run of the Daedalus. He wouldn't get around to any if it.

Radek watched the engine status indicator. His captors were oblivious for the moment: Faraday and the lieutenant were working on a laptop in the back, speaking in hushed voices if at all and Taylor had been assigned to watch him. Radek had taken periodic glances behind, the prospect of a gun pointed at him making him inherently nervous. But after Taylor had hit him against the back of the head when he had turned once too many times, Radek kept his eyes to the controls.

The indicator went up another notch and the numbers kept climbing. Any second now, the engine was going to overload. A shrill alarm sounded and Radek shut his eyes, aware that it wouldn't make any difference anymore.

It didn't happen. The Jumper lurched, rocked hard, and then stopped dead. The alarm fell silent and Radek opened his eyes only to be smacked in the face a second later. The lieutenant shoved him hard against the wall.

"You sabotaged the Jumper. What did you do?" Radek saw the rage on the lieutenant's face and knew he was finished.

Radek didn't reply. His plan had failed. From here on, there was no way out. Another smack landed in his face.

"Taylor, find out what he did and fix it." Taylor ducked and hastily headed to the controls. The alarm died a few seconds later, but Taylor had only bad news.

"I'm not sure I can. We brought Zelenka in because he knows his way around a Jumper."

"I guess you better tell him what you did then." The lieutenant eased his grip on Radek. "Your survival depends on it, Doc."

"I can't fix it." Radek fought to keep his voice from shaking. He had chosen to go down this road,

The lieutenant raised his weapon and fired.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Pressure

Obstipui, Steterunque Comae Et Vox Faucibus Haesit

oOo

Rodney? Something, anything? What do you have?" John was alarmed, sounding almost desperate while he looked as he might fall over any minute.

"Stop looking over my shoulder! What happens if you enter a wrong password?"

John gave him a blank look.

"You get a hint!" Rodney punched the zero button until the device beeped when he hit he it for the eighth time. _Eight digits. _

"I don't know. It might just blow up in your face. Have you thought of that? We don't have time for games, Rodney." John's voice was almost shrill.

"Just go," Rodney yelled. "Run!"

"Not without you." John nearly lost his balance, but he grabbed Rodney's upper arm. Rodney resisted, grabbing the remote. He needed just another second. "Run." Rodney pushed John away. John stumbled out of Beckett's office, but Rodney didn't have the time to look after him, even when he heard a heavy thump outside.

Fifteen seconds. Rodney stared at the hologram. The answer had to be there.

_9227465. _Was that the hint? Rodney had recognized the sequence of course, but which eight-digit number?

_14930352, 24157817, 39088169, 63245986, …_

Ten seconds.

_24157817. _Rodney punched in the eight digits. For a terrifying moment, nothing happened, and then the device fell silent and clattered to the floor beneath Carson's desk. Rodney let out a breath he had been holding and steadied himself on the wall. The immediate threat gone, he suddenly realized how weak he was feeling. The adrenaline rush had given him strength, but was fading fast. Bracing himself at the wall, Rodney stumbled outside.

John hadn't gotten far. He had dropped a few feet outside the office. Rodney kneeled down to check his pulse, a welcome feeling of relief rushing through him when he found a steady beat. Rodney had many questions about what had happened, but right now, getting help for John and Cadman took precedent.

Rodney dully recalled John's warning not to trust anyone, but he didn't have the skills or the training to help Cadman, Sheppard and Dr. Millhouse. Hoping that the bomb was really disabled, Rodney staggered back into Carson's office and activated the comm. unit.

oOo

Elizabeth couldn't get warm. Despite the heavy blanket draped around her shoulders and knowing that the ambient temperature was within normal parameters, she was shivering. When the Wraith bomb had suddenly fallen off the wall, for a moment, she had thought it would fall down and explode, but it had simply crashed down on the metal floor and nothing had happened. Seconds later, the door had slid open as if nothing had ever happened.

She should be fine, Elizabeth kept telling herself, but it was as if her mind refused to process what had happened. They had come so close to dying.

"Dr. Weir." Elizabeth looked up to see Teyla standing in front of her holding a steaming cup of tea. "I though you might like a cup of tea." Teyla smiled warmly.

"Thank you." Elizabeth gladly accepted. "Is there something else I can help you with?"

"Thank you, but I'm going to be fine. I should be in my office, not here in the infirmary. Carson and Dr. Biro certainly have their hands full at the moment," Elizabeth replied. She had to admit she was glad about the moment of respite, but she knew it couldn't last; something horrible had happened in Atlantis. For the moment, a hastily assembled team consisting of men from the regular security detail and military members of the explorations team were patrolling the city in an attempt to find out what had happened and assess the damage. Without the ZPM, they had no sensors allowing them to locate individuals. Elizabeth only hoped that Lieutenant Cadman and Dr. Millhouse had been the only ones attacked by the so-far unknown assailant. The search team had yet to locate the two prime suspects, Lieutenant Shaw and Dr. Lawrence Tiding. However, a Jumper was missing from the bay, and Elizabeth could only presume that Shaw and Tiding might have used to it flee from the City once their plot was accomplished. What exactly their plan had been and who had piloted the Jumper, were among the many unanswered question Elizabeth still had to deal with.

"I was wondering whether you might want to join me to practise with the staves."

"Now?" The timing seemed odd to Elizabeth. The expedition was in its worst crisis since the attack of the Wraith and she couldn't do anything about it,

"I think it might help you get some balance back. It has been a troublesome time for all of us. As far as I have heard, it will be some time before we receive news of those affected by the poison. I spoke to one of the assistants, but she said it would be a while. It will be best to take your mind off for a while."

Elizabeth realized guiltily that she hadn't even been thinking about John and the others who had been poisoned. She remembered Dr. Biro whizzing past, telling her that they thought the darts Dr. Millhouse and Lieutenant Cadman had been shot with contained the same poison as the bombs and that they were working to find an antidote. Everything that had happened was a bit fuzzy.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt." Elizabeth dropped off the blanket and took another sip from her tea.

"I'm sure the exercise will help you feel better. We don't just train our bodies when we learn to defend ourselves, we also train the mind."

oOo

One of Carson's assistants had finally chased Rodney out of the infirmary with the relayed ordered to rest in his quarters and reassurances that someone would come and check in on him once there was time. Rodney was glad to be off his feet--for a while, anyways.

Once he had eaten a PowerBar and drunk some orange juice, he started to feel better immediately. The familiar symptoms he had been suffering from hypoglycaemia disappeared quickly. He was still left with a slightly loopy feeling, which he attributed to Carson's drugs during his stay in the infirmary, but he felt like he was part of the world of the living again.

Rodney was only now starting to realize how close he and John, had come to being blown up. Teyla had shown up while he had been waiting in the infirmary. She had thanked him for disabling the bombs. From what she had said, he had gathered there had been another bomb, one that would have blown up Elizabeth and Carson if it had gone off. Seeing that he wasn't exactly in prime condition, Teyla had then stopped talking and gotten a medical assistant. Sent to bed, Rodney couldn't sleep. His physical fatigue wasn't enough to quiet his mind. There had been no time to ask questions and talk to anyone about what had happened before he had woken up in the infirmary with Sheppard standing next to his bed. Dr. Millhouse had been vague, only telling him that he had suffered from a poisoning, but was being treated successfully with an antidote. That gave rise to all sorts of scenarios. He could have been exposed to a poison in any numbers of ways on a mission. It was a wonder something like that didn't happen sooner in a strange galaxy. Even in Atlantis, there were many dark and dangerous corners, as the nano-virus incident had shown. They hadn't come close to exploring the entire City; it would take years. It was pointless, as there were too many possibilities. But he remembered nothing that made sense if he had been poisoned. The central image that kept floating to the front of his mind was one of John lunging at him, grabbing his head with his hands. The memory was so intense that he could feel an echo of pain shoot through his head every time the vision returned.

Rodney was tempted to accept the memory for what it was, even though his work for the Stargate project had instilled in him some caution. It wasn't like there had never been a false, planted memory, but that left aside, John had no reason to attack Cadman and Dr. Millhouse. The bomb had nearly blown them both up. It would have if Rodney hadn't figured it out. John hadn't been able to run away; the poison from the bomb had gotten to him before. He wouldn't have deliberately have poisoned himself. That made no sense. John had better be all right. He had cracked the password, so he should have saved the day, Rodney thought. Bored and restless in bed, Rodney got back up and headed towards the infirmary.

oOo

"You have done quite well, Dr. Weir. Were you able to calm your mind?" Teyla gathered the staves after their sparring round. They had gone light after almost two days of no sleep.

"I'm tired. For once I can think I might actually be able to get some rest." Elizabeth smiled thankfully. The exercise had helped. Her strength and endurance had been compromised by stress and lack of sleep, but being forced to concentrate on her opponent had helped her put aside her current worries.

"I doubt I'll get a lot of sleep now, but I need a shower and a few minutes with my eyes closed," Elizabeth told Teyla. She had been up so long, she wasn't even sure when she had slept for the last time. In the Pegasus Galaxy she had learned to sleep less and work more than she had ever thought possible, having been an busy, ambitious diplomat before starting to work with the Stargate Program.

"I wish you a restful sleep then," Teyla said as they parted ways in the corridor. "I shall wait for news on the injured."

Elizabeth thanked her once again for the workout and went to her quarters.

oOo

Two hours later, the head count stood at 123. The search was still progressing, but the entire inhabited area of Atlantis had been searched. Four people were missing: Dr. Radek Zelenka, Dr. Sandra Faraday, Dr. Ian Taylor and Lieutenant Mark Shaw. Two were dead: Corporal Leon Mars and Dr. Markus Tiding. Dr. Tiding had been found dead in his quarters in the process of the search. The cause of his death was so far unknown, but Elizabeth suspected murder. There was a chance that one or more of the others were dead as well, their bodies hidden somewhere within the City. It was yet unknown how the Jumper could have been stolen, as none of the people who were unaccounted for had the ATA gene.

Short-staffed in the aftermath of the bombing, Elizabeth had her first priority assigned to the reinstallation of the ZPM. Dr. Kusanagi, currently their most qualified expert on Ancient technology, was working down in the power core, carefully making sure there had been no other attempt at sabotage.

Meanwhile members of the security detail no longer needed for the search were searching the quarters of all the missing for clues as to their possible involvement. Elizabeth hadn't yet made an official statement concerning any of the events of the last twenty-four hours, but the rumours of traitors among the expedition were starting to fly wild. It was time that she gave her people the facts, as far as she knew them.

oOo

"I want to go." Rodney had stubbornly planted himself in front of Elizabeth's desk, arms crossed in front of his desk. The official version had been broadcast half an hour ago, filling Rodney in on some of the events while he had been in the infirmary. The rumour mill was of course rife with details not contained in the official statement, so Rodney had learned that Teyla, Ronon, and Sergeant Edison were about to leave on Jumper II on a mission to find the stolen craft.

"Has Carson even seen you yet?" Elizabeth's tone made it clear that she was humouring him.

"No, but if I can be sent to my room, I can help look for the Jumper. You need me if you want to get the maximum out of the sensors anyways. There are only so many people on the expedition who know their way around delicate Ancient technology and one of them happens to be missing at the moment."

"We don't even know who is aboard the Jumper or if they are still in range. But the computers in the control room haven't registered any Gate activity since we came back from the search for Colonel Sheppard, so it is possible."

"I think they might not have been able to dial the Gate from the Jumper, but I could be wrong…"

"You could be wrong?" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow in question.

"I have been wondering how Ford, of all people, figured out how to steal a Jumper without having the gene."

"And?" Elizabeth asked, playing with a pen.

"I have done some tinkering on a program that creates a sort of remote access to the Ancient systems," Rodney admitted. He could see it now, how it had all gone wrong. It was alarming how those kinds of revelations were accumulating recently. But hindsight was always 20/20.

There was a moment of silence. "I see. It seems that your work got into the wrong hands. We can't change what happened now. We will talk about this later."

"So that means I can go." Rodney bounced softly. Maybe he had had too much coffee on the way to Elizabeth's office.

"I didn't say that. Two days ago we weren't sure you were ever going to wake up." Elizabeth paused, an expression of concern on her face. Rodney felt oddly touched at the sentiment. He knew he was vital to the expedition, but as a person, he didn't rank high on the popularity list.

"You should take it easy, at least until Carson or Dr. Biro can have a look at you."

"Every minute we waste here in discussion is a minute Zelenka could be disappearing through a Gate to anywhere in this galaxy," Rodney argued. As much as Zelenka could annoy him at times, he was a decent guy and probably the next best scientist after Rodney.

"I don't think I can dissuade you." Elizabeth sighed in defeat. "Get down to the Jumper Bay, I'll tell them to wait for you."

TBC


	15. Coming Together

Coming Together

Ad Modum Tenui Filo Suspensum Esso

oOo

By the time the Daedalus arrived six hours later, Elizabeth felt saner and safer than she had in the past three days taken together. A few hours of sleep had done wonders to restore her sanity and the knowledge that the Daedalus was on orbit, ready to protect the City in case of a Wraith attack, did much to restore her confidence, even as she stood in the control room that still bore the signs of the recent explosion. The consoles that had been ripped apart by the explosions were still in a heap of debris as the first group from the Daedalus transported down to the control room.

Colonel Caldwell, Dr. Novak and a young officer Elizabeth recognized but whose name she didn't remembered appeared in the control room. They cast around startled looks, taking in the scene of destruction.

"We are happy to see you all right, Dr. Weir. We contacted Atlantis on the way, but got no reply, so we got worried. It seems like you've been having a few problems. Nothing too serious I hope," Colonel Caldwell said as he greeted Elizabeth.

"I'm afraid the problem is rather serious. We are very glad the Daedalus is here. We were forced to take the ZPM off-line and would be defenceless in case of an attack."

Before Caldwell could ask any more questions, Elizabeth stopped him. "I'll inform everyone shortly. I asked the department heads to meet us in the briefing room."

oOo

The atmosphere in the briefing room was sombre. Dr Beckett, Dr. Biro and Dr. Heightmeyer were hunched over the files in front of them and acknowledged the newcomers with a nod. Dr. Kusanagi was nervously playing with a pen, putting it down, blushing when Dr. Weir and the others came in.

Elizabeth opened the briefing.

"We are facing the biggest threat since the attack of the Wraith. In the last three days, this expedition and its members have been targeted by one or more saboteurs. Currently we have not been able to establish with certainty who the active parties were and what their goals are, but we have found some evidence indicating that at least five individuals are involved. I admit that I have no idea how this could have happened. Everyone underwent strict background checks and psychological exams. How five people could have slipped through the cracks is beyond my imagination."

"When a group of that size perpetrates violent acts in an organized fashion, then the motive is most likely a social or political one," Dr. Heightmeyer explained. "I haven't had that much time to go over their files and this isn't my specialty, but Lieutenant Shaw strikes me as the most probable leader of the pack. He is the oldest and has the most experience to plan and execute an attack and escape. He is used to giving orders and taking them. He was certainly the best prepared for the situation in Atlantis; he has been in conflict situations before. That is not to say that civilians like Dr. Taylor, Dr. Faraday and Dr. Tiding necessary are less prepared, but some, especially people who have been with the expedition since the beginning, had different expectations of another Galaxy. They didn't expect a war zone."

"I can read here that two of your suspects, Dr. Tiding and Corporal Mars, are dead at this point?" Caldwell asked.

"Yes," Dr. Biro replied. "Corporal Mars was murdered. He was strangled, by someone who knew what they were doing and had a lot of upper body strength. Given the limited number of suspects, Lieutenant Shaw would be my guess. Dr. Tiding's cause of death was more difficult to determine. I couldn't rule out death by natural causes, but I strongly suspect he died of an overdose of the same unknown substance we have found in the quarters of all five suspects. Dr. Beckett and I think it might be an antidote for the toxin they used in their bombs. They might have kept it around in case they were accidentally exposed to it."

"There is really a lot that you don't know, Dr. Weir. I don't want to see an officer's name dragged through the mud because you suspect something. Is there any proof?" Caldwell asked sharply.

"Proof that he murdered two people, tried to blow up this City, kidnapped one of my scientists and stole a Puddle Jumper? No, not so far. But I'm going to get it. I need to find them first. Three of my people are searching for the missing Jumper right now, but we could use the assistance of the Daedalus. It's a needle in a haystack as it is," Elizabeth replied acidly.

"The Daedalus and its crew will be happy to help you in this matter. It's in all our interest to recover the missing Puddle Jumper and its crew as soon as possible," Caldwell decided. "Meanwhile I have been reading through the report you prepared and noticed the matter of an open inquiry into the shooting of Corporal Mars, now deceased."

"It is as you say, an open inquiry."

oOo

It was almost midnight, again, and Elizabeth couldn't even think of going to sleep. She had ordered Ronon, Teyla and Rodney to return to Atlantis despite Rodney's protests. She had taken confidence in Teyla's common sense and Ronon's convincing strength and the two had not failed to drag a completely exhausted McKay back with them. Elizabeth had seen to it that Rodney, after a beeline to the cafeteria, went to the infirmary and then she had to wait for news. She hadn't needed to wait long before Teyla and Ronon came and silently joined her. Teyla had a cup of Athosian tea in her hand and Ronon was his usual quiet self. So they had started to wait.

At half past ten, the shouting started, and eight minutes later, Dr. Biro came running from the infirmary, the door whooshing shut behind her. Carson followed ten minutes later. Elizabeth knew as soon as she saw him that he came bearing bad news.

"Anita Millhouse died. We tried to help her but we simply don't know what we are dealing with. I have never seen anything like this before, but that is what we have come here for, haven't we?" Carson was sad and angry.

"What about the antidote? Does it not work?" Teyla asked.

"We were afraid of giving her too much, after Dr. Tiding died of an overdose. The toxin has some similarities to an Earth toxin called Epibatidine.It causes seizures and paralysis, but it is also works as a painkiller. It is possible that they were poisoned with a drug that was actually used by the Anicents. We should search the database."

"I'll get people to help you with that," Elizabeth promised.

"Without knowing the name of what we are looking for, the search could take very long. At least Dr. Harris and I have managed to analyse the molecule, and that should help us a bit."

"You are doing everything you can," Elizabeth reassured him. "If someone can figure this out, you can."

"How is Dr. McKay?" Teyla got up and asked.

"Rodney is doing fine. I was going to throw him out, but he wouldn't leave and we had one bed left, so I let him stay. He was about to fall asleep on his feet," Carson replied.

"When can we see the others?" Teyla asked.

"I don't known, honestly. We are trying to stabilize them, but it's going to be a long night. I suggest you all go to bed."

"I'll stay and wait," Ronon grumbled.

"So will I," Teyla said and nodded.

Elizabeth was torn. She wanted to stay, but she had a letter to write. She hated to write those letters, letters to the parents and families of the people who weren't going to come back, but it was a part of her job.

oOo

The first thing he become aware of was the cold. He couldn't remeber ever having been this cold before. The cold seemed to seep into his lungs with every breath and seemed to radiate from his bones. He wanted to go back to sleep to escape the permiating cold, but his body wasn't coperating. Other sensations started drifting in--noise (clattering, footsteps, voices). The voices triggered his memory. He recalled the Jumper; he recalled having been shot, once again. The cold started to make sense. The cold of space would start to drive down the temperature inside the Jumper after the power cut out. It was either the cold or the lack of air that would get them. Either way, it was going to be slow and agonizing. Radek wanted no part of it. He wanted to drift away again, when he felt a warm hand on his.

Radek forced open his eyes and saw a blurred shape hovering over him.

"Dr. Zelenka, we will be reaching Atlantis soon. We'll transport you straight down to the infirmary." The woman was talking slowly, as if to a child, and Radek suddenly wondered what was so horribly wrong.

"Is everyone...is everyone all right?" Radek was surprised how odd his voice sounded.

"Don't worry, Dr. Zelenka. We'll take good care of you." The answer didn't do much to reassure Radek, but he was too tired and cold to press the issue further.

"I feel cold," Radek whispered, but the woman was already gone again.

_Four Days Later_

Elizabeth put her pen down. She had finished the last of the letters to the families of those who wouldn't be returning to Earth. It had been decided early on that the mortal remains of those who died in the Pegasus Galaxy would remain there. The risk of bringing back a contagion was small, but it was there. There wasn't much that Elizabeth was able to tell the families, who would have to bury an empty casket. She could only reassure them that their loved-ones had served their country bravely, even if it wasn't true.

The SGC had ordered she close the files on the five suspected conspirators and conduct no further investigation. Any neccessary action would be decided on Earth. It was an unsatisfactory end. Six people were dead, including anyone who might have been able to tell her what the conspirators were planning. The Daedalus crew had found the errant Puddle Jumper adrift with no power. Everyone aboard, except for Dr. Zelenka had been dead.

Dr. Biro couldn't say for certain what they had died of, but she suspected they had died of poisoning with the same substance as Dr. Tiding. But suspicions were only that and the official cause of death was undetermined.

Radek, the only potential witness to the events aboard the Jumper, hadn't been able to add anything. He had yet to submit his report, but Elizabeth had already spoken to him in the infirmary.

The entire events had left a bitter aftertaste. The ZPM was back on-line and the Daedalus was scheduled to leave at the end of the week once the majority of the repairs was completed. Carson's daily reports led her to believe that Lieutenant Cadman and Colonel Sheppard were on their road to recovery, but she longed for some closure. It all seemed so pointless. For what had Anita Millhouse died? And the other five? Had they been part of a bigger plan, maybe a conspiracy that reached back to Earth? Had they committed suicide when they had found themselves lost with no way out or were they murdered? How it had all come to a head was as mysterious as it had all started with Colonel Sheppard's mysterious illness and the shooting of Corporal Mars and Major Lorne. Colonel Caldwell had insisted on making a report of the incident, as he saw it as a military matter, but between Carson delaying his questioning of Major Lorne and the fact that Sheppard was still unconscious, Caldwell would have to deal with the matter another time. By then, Elizabeth hoped, she would have time to find an explanation for what had happened.

oOo

The infirmary had quieted down in the past four days. Most of the expedition members injured in the explosions were back on duty, or had at least been released to their quarters. Radek had officially been released the day before after having been treated for hypothermia, but he had hardly left. Having gathered his laptop, he had set up shop in the infirmary. Although he was a less likely friend of Sheppard's and Carson wasn't even sure he knew Cadman at all, he had said nothing. Ronon and Teyla spent a lot of time visiting as well with Elizabeth and many others, dropping by as they could. It was only Rodney who Carson had not seen since he had stayed overnight in the infirmary. Radek had mumbled something about Rodney being 'a worse slave driver than ever' before he had turned back to write on his report.

Carson had gotten two full nights of sleep since the argument with Dr. Biro. He had apologized and she had accepted. He was still tired and overworked, as Atlantis was now one physician short, but he forced himself to get out of the infirmary at the end of his shifts. Laura had a long stream of friends coming to visit, some staying only for a few minutes, others staying until late into the night, reading or telling stories.

His shift was over and Carson was hungry, but when he saw that the chair beside Laura's bed was empty for a change, he couldn't resist sitting down for a while. Just a few minutes he told himself. He wasn't expecting anything when he took Laura's hand in his. When suddenly her grip tightened around his, Carson startled and he stared at Laura, but she was lying still in bed with her eyes closed, just as she had for the past four days. But Carson had felt her gripping his hand.

"Laura! Laura! Can you hear me? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

A smile spread over Carson's face when he felt his hand being squeezed softly.

"Laura?"

Laura was looking at him with tired eyes, but there was a ghost of a smile in her lips,

"Carson…" She began in a hoarse whisper.

"Shh, don't talk yet. Your throat was injured." Laura blinked in alarm and was reaching out a hand, but Carson caught her. "You're going to be all right. It's all over."

oOo

The next time Laura woke, she was alone. She vaguely remembered having been awake before but she couldn't remember anything about it. But being awake now was enough. Everything was a bit fuzzy and blurred around the edges, but she was alive.

She had been convinced she was going do die after the dart had hit her in the throat. She had felt how the poison had spread through her body, how every breath was more difficult than the last and how her legs grew heavier. She had focussed all her remaining energy on getting to the infirmary to find help, to let somebody knew there was an assassin on the loose, but she had failed. Her body had already been numb when she had fallen to the floor; she had hardly felt the impact. Everything had grown cold and dark and she had known she was dying.

The memory sent a shudder through her body, but it was real. She was in the infirmary in a comfortable warm bed, and it seemed like she was going to be all right. Her gaze fell onto the nightstand and she spotted the mass of get-well presents and cards her visitors had left over the past four days.

Someone had apparently managed to get a snapshot of the memorable kiss and pasted it onto a blank greeting card. She opened it and was amazed at the number of people who had signed the card. Some of them she had hardly gotten a chance to know in the time she had been on Atlantis.

"Don't let McKay see that." The comment startled her and Laura looked around to see Sheppard looking at her from the next bed at the side. He looked tired and his hair was even more ruffled than usual, but there seemed nothing grievously wrong with her CO.

"Sir, I didn't notice..."

"Don't tell Beckett just yet," Sheppard whispered conspiratorially

"What weren't you going to tell me?" Beckett came out of his office, no doubt having heard them talk. "Colonel, it is a pleasure to see you awake. How do you feel?"

"Not bad for a guy who was poisoned twice within one week," Sheppard replied.

"We were almost too late the second time around. You two were both quite lucky. At least now, I can hopefully get my infirmary back, once everyone has reassured themselves that you are really going to be fine. Dr. Zelenka has virtually set up camp in here. Elizabeth finally persuaded him to leave this morning. It was about time for someone to keep an eye on Rodney in the lab."

oOo

John had to stay three more days in the infirmary. Elizabeth had come on the first evening, a thick file under her arm. When she had pulled the privacy curtains behind her, John had known it was something serious.

"John, there is something we need to discuss." Elizabeth remained standing behind the chair beside John's bed.

"I figured you would be in pretty soon, though I was hoping I would be spared until I was back on my feet. But at least now, I still have a few sympathy points in the bank once everything hits the ceiling. I guess I have you to thank that I haven't received any death threats yet." John fell silent.

"Yes. I…" Elizabeth hesitated. "I think you should read this." She put the thick file on John's nightstand.

"What is it?" John looked at Elizabeth. "I don't remember anything. I wish I did. I have tried to remember, but there's nothing, just nothing. I wish I could tell you why I did it."

"You didn't." Elizabeth looked away. "That was what I came to tell you."

"I didn't? I didn't do what?" John was yelling.

"You shot Corporal Mars, but that was not what killed him. He was murdered in the infirmary. Someone strangled him in his bed, most likely while he was sedated after surgery." Elizabeth rushed the words. "You didn't do it. You were under guard in an isolation room at the time."

"That's good. That's good to know," John said after a while. "What about the shooting?"

"There will be an investigation, but that's out of my hands. Caldwell and the Daedalus already left, but they'll back be in six weeks. Carson is trying to find an explanation for your memory loss and I want you to talk to Kate as well. We will find an explanation of what happened," Elizabeth promised.

The End (for now)


End file.
